Aromanticism and Asexuality (Day 22 of Living Beyond a Label!)

Aromanticism and asexuality both involve how a person experiences, or doesn’t experience one or more types of attraction. Aromanticism is when a person doesn’t experience romantic attraction. Asexuality is when a person does not experience sexual attraction.

Keep in mind aromantic people still experience love, and may still desire sex. It’s also worth remembering people who are aromantic may still desire relationships, want to have families, and can still form deep, meaningful and lasting connections even without romantic feelings. 

Similarly it’s important to note some asexual people may still choose to engage in sexual activity even if they do not experience sexual attraction, often with a romantic partner. Asexuality is not the same as celibacy or abstinence.

Despite common misconceptions, aromanticism or asexuality are not disorders, or caused by a lack of hormones, and they don’t need to be cured. They also aren’t something people will grow out of, or change because they meet the right person. 

While many people may identify as both aromantic and asexual, or aro-ace, they are not the same and a person may be one and not the other. For example, while the prevalence of aromanticism is still somewhat unknown, a study found that while about 1% of people identify as asexual, only about 25% of those also identify as aromantic. Suggesting that most people who are asexual do still experience romantic attraction. 

Some related terms include:

Demiromantic - when a person only experiences romantic attraction after an emotional bond is formed with that person. 

Demisexual - when a person only experiences sexual attraction after an emotional bond is formed with that person.

Gray-romantic - sort of between aromantic and romantic, when a person’s experience of romantic attraction is so rare, under specific conditions, or at such a low intensity it is almost non-existent. 

Gray-sexual - sort of between asexual and sexual, when a person’s experience of sexual attraction is  so rare, under specific conditions, or at such a low intensity it is almost non-existent. 

Perhaps a few of the biggest things we can learn when it comes to aromanticism and asexuality are first not to assume what that experience will mean for them, and second to remember not everyone desires romance and/or sex  but relationships can be more than either of those things.

If some of these terms are new to you, I encourage you to learn more, and ask questions!

Sources: https://www.asexuality.org/ 
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-aromantic-5189571 

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So do you identify as aromantic and/or asexual? What is that like for you?

 How can we better acknowledge and support those who identify as aromantic and/or asexual? 

Part of 30 Days of Pride - Living Beyond a Label!