Coming Out (Day 12 of Living Beyond a Label!)

For many, coming out is a big step, and not an easy choice to make. Coming out can mark a shift in how a person feels about themselves as well as how they interact with the LGBTQ+ community.

Coming out can go really well and be like a celebration and a relief at times, but coming out can also be a very difficult time that leads to loss of friends, family or simply puts a strain on those  relationships. Each person’s coming out journey and story is their own.

[image consists of a rainbow coloured name tag reading “Hello I am… LGBTQ+”]

Some things to consider prior to coming out:

• Do you truly want to come out?  It’s important that you only come out because you want to, not because you feel you have to or are being pressured to do so. Just remember there is no time limit on coming out, you can tell as many or as few people as you wish and there is no right or wrong way to come out!

  
  

• Who are you going to tell? You may want to start with people who you trust most when first coming out.

  
  

• How might they react? Getting a sense of how someone feels about the LGBTQ+ community can give a good sense of how they might react when you come out, but it is not a guarantee. Some who are not  accepting may be more open when they realize it’s someone they care about, and sadly some who are accepting may surprise you and  be less accepting of someone they know personally.

  
  

• How will you ensure your mental, emotional, physical safety if it goes poorly? This includes things like financial safety, for example if coming out to someone you live with, do you have somewhere you can go if they kick you out? Having a safety plan can be an important part of preparing to come out even if hopefully you never need to use it.

  
  

• What legal protections do you have against discrimination, especially at work? While you may or may not come out at work, sometimes being out is difficult to control once other people know, so being aware of your rights can be an important step in protecting those rights.

  
  

• What do you want to say, and how do you want to say it? Before you come out, take time to practice what you want to say, consider if you want to say it in person or write a letter or how you want to express your truth.

  
  

• Are you prepared for questions? While already an intense time for you, and you by no means are required to answer all their questions, it’s likely that when you come out, the people you tell will have questions. Ultimately being prepared for how you want to respond to these questions can help. Common questions include: Are you sure? How do you know? When did you realize? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?  

So if you have come out, share your coming out story?
 What did you learn? What might you do differently if you were to come out again?

If you are not out, do you want to be? What would help you feel more ready to come out?