Demiromantic/Demisexual

Hi hi, I'm new here. I don't really know anyone else that identifies the same as me so I decided to look for somewhere to talk about how I've been feeling.

I have an issue where I always develop feelings for my best friends. I've always been the same. I develop feelings and then I become obsessed with their happiness. I get a little overbearing. I'm currently happily engaged to the man I've been with since I was 15. However our relationship is sort of open, meaning I have no boundaries to live by.

I seem to be unable to differentiate between romantic love and friend love. I develop feelings for my best friends and then I develop sexual attraction because I would do anything to make them feel good. I've pushed away a lot of friends by the way I become. It's like my love is so intense and over the top, it becomes obvious and makes them uncomfortable.

Anyway... I've recently started to become good friends with a girl from work. We message constantly, call frequently and hang out now outside of work too. Our friendship is quickly developing and I already love that girl to bits. She's absolutely bonkers and I love it. I'm just worried that like always I'll develop feelings and that's going to push her away.

I've already lost so many friends this way. I'm so sick of feeling rejected. I'm just worried I'm going to get weird and it's going to push her away. Why am I like this? Why can't I just have a friend and not develop feelings for them? Why is my brain like this?

Does anyone else have this problem? Any advice would be helpful too