FOMO when dating either the opposite-sex or same-sex...
Does anyone else struggle with being bisexual sometimes?...Especially if you happen to be monogamous?... Do you feel like you're missing out on the other sex/gender when you're dating the other one?...
[[FOMO = Fear of Missing Out]]
I find myself that when I'm in a relationship with a man, I miss being with women, and when I'm dating a woman, I find myself missing men...
Not sure if I would want to try being polyamorous, I don't think it's for me...
I feel like if I had a BF, I wouldn't mind him dating other men, but I wouldn't be OK if he was with another woman. Same, if I had a GF, I wouldn't mind her dating other men either, but I wouldn't be OK either if she dated a woman...
I guess I feel that way since I'm a bisexual female, so I understand them dating the opposite-sex of myself, as I can't provide that for them, but dating the same-sex as myself feels like I'm not enough for them...So, I think ultimately it would be best for me to remain monogamous, in order to be fair.
I'm currently talking to this pretty woman, but she lives in a different state (I met her on an online app, we plan on meeting up though and have done phone calls). I just don't know how to feel...
I really like her, but I'm starting to reminisce and miss men a bit, it's weird...But when I'm with men, I keep thinking about women. I wish I could get with someone and not have these thoughts at all, I'm thinking maybe I should either remain single for now, or perhaps just casually date without anything serious...
I've had one long term relationship with my abusive alcoholic ex fiancé for about 3 years, and even had a child with him...Then another relationship with my brother's best friend (also a male) that lasted close to a year, be he had a drug addiction and drinking issues as well...Plus overall manipulative in a more subtle way...
Maybe I'm still affected by past traumas, that it's making it hard to have a long term relationship again... The idea of being single seems more and more appealing to me. Though, I still want some intimacy and to go on cute dates (not really looking for hook-ups), but I also don't want to think too hard about long term relationships...I want it to just happen organically without forcing it.
Sorry, this post is sort of everywhere...
Can anyone else relate? What are your thoughts as someone who's bisexual and dates both men and women? Do you miss the other sex/gender whenever your dating the other?
@ImpudentIncognito
Hello,
You have some serious good points, questions, and concerns. Thank you for stimulating this puppy's brain.
We acknowledge you and recognize where you are coming from. You are valid with your feelings with bi and with past trauma. Child, Manipulation, Drugs, and Alcoholic, that all can be a bit overwhelming.
From my perspective, I don’t have fear for I have what I sought.
An opposite of my personality and everything my spouse brings to the table of
life, is new not duplicated of what is already there.
But also it has been 20+ years since I have dated.
Relate? I think it would be more on the means of the opposite sex on their perspective. It is interesting that almost all of our friends are straight. A past therapist had said more than once that we should have more “like” minded people in our circle for everything we do and go is with straight people. Not sure how or why it is that way.
I also think that a relationship isn’t an *** pot of perfection. It is something we have to work on and all. So the FOMO might well be something else because it will be organic unless you see fit otherwise, if you know what I mean