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Figuring out labels and sexuality

User Profile: P0tatoWedges
P0tatoWedges October 26th, 2025

For the longest time ive identified as a lesbian, until recentlt where i started??? I dont know feeling like k might like guys? There's no specific guy i like just guys... Although when i think about it more i almost cant fathom the idea of being or liking a guy, like i cant stomach it? Maybe I'm just being like this cause im so hopelessly romantic and im just straight up begging for any romance to happen in my life. But also, what if ive been performative about being lesbian and all? I like girls dont get make me wrong, but what if all this time i was actually bi or pan? I dont know, im not comfortable with the idea of being bi or pan or just liking men in generally, ugh i dont get it, does angone have am idea or can just straight up hit me with the reality pan XD

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User Profile: Aayla
Aayla October 26th, 2025
@P0tatoWedges most of the times, when people wonder whether they've faked their queer identity, I wonder why would a person fake something that makes you vulnerable to discrimination. Your feelings are real, they put you in a place that is not always comfortable because it's considered out of "the norm", so there would be no reason for you to fake it: if you identify as lesbian, that's because it truly is what you feel.

As for guys, you can ask yourself what it is that you like about them, and whether or not the idea of acting on those feelings appeals to you. You're right to think that it can be about romantic ideas: we grow up believing in the "fairytale romance" they teach us as kids, that is always heteronormative. It can affect our fantasies and the way we idealize things. If the thought of actually being with a man in real life is repulsive to you, I think you might enjoy the "idealized" version of straight romance than straight romance itself.

The point is: what feels good to you? How do you imagine yourself? What scenarios and fantasies make you feel good, and what does not feel good? Your feelings are enough to determine who you are, if you prefer to also experiment in order to understand better than that's ok, but it's not mandatory and you don't have to force yourself to dot hinges you don't want just to prove a point.

At the end of the day, a sexual label is not something physically attached to you, it's simply the word that you think describes you better (even if it might not give a complete image of who you are). It's up to you to determine which one fits you best.
1 reply
User Profile: P0tatoWedges
P0tatoWedges OP October 27th, 2025

Thank upiuu this is really helpful, sometimes i forget that labels dont immediately represent my indentity wahh this was some kind of eye-opener thank you again :))

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