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I'm just a bit lost

User Profile: littleMouse458
littleMouse458 January 3rd

Hi 👋 I'm a 44 year old woman. I have been with only men my whole life. I've always been attracted to girls, though. Had maybe a couple of experiences and they weren't much. I was brought up in a highly conservative old southern household. Went to church every Sunday, with all kid/teen activities, southern baptist. So being anything other than a straight woman with a white straight successful male, was unheard of. So I never explored or even thought about my feelings. Now I'm older, I have an 18 year old who is bi. I've always supported her, and to my surprise so did my parents. Recently I've finally had the courage to admit I like woman, not just as a friend. Only to my daughter though. I've started to try the dating thing, even got apps. Been 5 years since I was in a relationship and it was a serious one that ended when he passed from covid. So I'm just now ready to date again. I'm out of practice. I'm also nervous. I honestly don't know how to hold a conversation through text. I've done a lot of liking. Got a couple back. Only one talked to me. And then she just stopped. And really I was boring, though I was trying to be casual. Again, cause I'm nervous and this is new. But it's kinda discouraging me. Lol I feel like I'm just not accepted or gay? enough? Something my daughter says. I just feel I'm not good at this, I dont know what I'm doing, I'm nervous as all get out, and so on. Can you tell me what I'm doing wrong? Would anyone even be interested in such a newbie at my age?? Should I not even try?

3
User Profile: Amanda84
Amanda84 January 3rd

@littleMouse458

Of course you should try.

It's completely natural to be nervous.

But I'm sure you are not boring at all.

And there's no such thing, as just not gay enough 😊

Dating apps can take time.

They can be brutal.

And ghosting is common.

It just takes time to connect, or if you could join a club or a class and meet people in real life, it's much easier to read the type of person they are then 💚😊

i-love-you-love-you.gif

User Profile: Aayla
Aayla January 3rd
@littleMouse458 first of all, congratulations on starting to explore a side of you that's been neglected for so long! It takes courage, but it can definitely be a liberation and it can help you reconcile with yourself and who you are. Also, it's great that you have such a good relationship with your daughter and that you're able to share so much!

That being said, dating can be tough and even matching with someone can take a lot of time and energy. It may help you to think that it's not just a "you" thing, it's the same for everyone! A lot of time to find a match, pointless conversations, even ghosting are part of the process with dating apps. Just take it as a natural part of the process, it may surprise you how many younger and more experienced people go through the same as you.

Of course, this experience can really play with insecurities and highlight worries and fears. Just take this as a time to explore and get to know yourself better, find out what you like and what you look for, what works for you and what doesn't. It's not a matter of getting approval, it's matter of reconnecting with a part of you that you haven't explored. If you happen to meet someone you like, that's a bonus! And the more you get to know yourself and become more familiar with this side of you, the easier it will become.
User Profile: GoodTrouble19
GoodTrouble19 January 5th

@littleMouse458

hi 😏

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