LGBTQ+ Vent

Mom.

I'm sorry I'm not the daughter you wanted. I know you say you love me no matter what, but deep down there's conditions. I'm not your daughter anymore, I'm nonbinary. But you won't accept that, you told me straight to my face you wouldn't.

"You were born a woman, you will always be a woman."

I know what I was born as, but that's not who I am anymore. I never was her, deep in my heart it wasn't who I was meant to be. I found who I was meant to be, even if it's hard for me to express that.

Your love isn't unconditional, even when I tried to fit into the mold you wanted it never fit. I tried so hard for you to conform to what was considered "normal" in your eyes. I followed the path you paved for so long, and it wasn't good enough.

I was washing the dishes, I remember, and my sister used them with you, she called me my proper pronouns. But I could remember your response.

"Don't use that word around me."

As if my identity was dirty, shameful. 

After we talked about how I was feeling, you just message me about the bible. I don't want that. I don't want your scriptures. I just want you to be my mother. To make me feel like I'm something you loved, not just because you had to but because you wanted to.