**TapTap* Is this thing on?
- *Clears throat* Hello, I hope everyone who is reading this, is doing very well. I don’t even know where to begin. I am an older, nah, let’s say mature woman who is on a serious struggle bus. I have known since childhood how I adore women. Unfortunately, I have had to keep it a secret, I was unable to make the choice to live as I wanted. I had a girlfriend in high school but when my mother found out we were separated and well that was the end of that. Except it wasn’t. It’s always been there through my marriage and children. There always is a reason for me to not feel what I feel. I go through fierce longings and try to put them a way from heart, my mind, sometimes it works sometimes it doesn’t. I began to think to myself, I cannot be the only one who struggles so. I am hoping to ease this pain of lonliness & longing. I know I can’t completely break free but maybe ease it somewhat. That’s my story. Thanks for reading.
@Aayla I really appreciate that thank you. I have no misconceptions on a future other than friendship, I couldn’t hurt my husband or my children. Perhaps, if my husband passes before me then maybe but I do not wish for that scenario either. But is what it is. My goal will be friendship and that will have to do. Thank you again for your kind remarks.
@exuberantMoon4988
Thank you for sharing your story; repressing such a huge part of yourself must have been a struggle. I'm proud of you for reaching out and sharing your experience with what you've been going through with all of this. Just know you aren't alone; your community is here for you to be accepted with open arms. Many people discover their identity later in life than mainstream media likes to portray, and that is completely normal and valid. I'm sorry you felt you had to hide this part of yourself, but I'm so happy you feel safe and comfortable enough to let it shine through, even if it's on here :)
@FriendlyRaven thank you. I admit it was super scary but it felt totally amazing to say even if it is just in words. I am hoping to find peace and serenity in the later part of my existence on this earth. It’s not going to be easy I know that for sure but I am going to my best. I really appreciate your kindness.