loneliness as a pre-t trans

hi I'm Eli, a trans young adult (18) who is not visibly a man irl yet and i feel lonely because through *** i see so much trans men being able to take testosterone and top surgeries, which sometimes make me feel "im not considered as a man yet, because im not on T or had surgery" i am not out to anyone irl but my sisters, a cousin, and my close irl friends who dont go to the same school as me. my current friends who i do go to school with, i have told them im trans but they dont call me they/them as ive told them to before or at least mentioned those were my "preferred" pronouns (id rather have someone call me they instead of she, even when i really prefer he) but yeahh im kinda over it already i guess 💀

ive got friends online who know im trans but id like to make online friends (for safety from my parents irl) who are just like me, pre-t and closeted too, ofc im open for any friends tho! im not the best talker for im introverted but i love talking to someone new especially theyre just the right vibe for me yk? in short, BE MY FRIEND 🙏🙏🙏

i like to draw, play fortnite or roblox and have some anime show ineterests 🔥 uhhrh i swear im cool guys im really funny (trust)