I don't know where I belong

I think I'm bi, but I still see myself as straight sometimes. I don't like the heterosexual community that I have been around, mostly because of my parents, media, and all the trouble that hetero, cis, allo seem to cause to LGBTQ+. Although I don't think I fit in with LGBTQ+ because I'm not "bi enough" or I don't understand the oppression that others face or that I'm not "queer enough". It seems it would be appropriation for me to consider myself a part of the LGBTQ+ community. I also have reoccurring fears of being hated by LGBTQ+ people because I've done something wrong, I don't belong, I don't understand something, or I did something disrespectful. I think these fears developed when I was young since I would always seem to be around media and people that painted LGBTQ+ in a hateful light, watching news stories about protests and peers/parents thinking it was ridiculous. My parents still find a lot of it ridiculous, which makes it tough to even be around them. I've come to a point where I stand in-between. I don't associate with any community, yet. I know how I feel about the same sex. I know there's some bi in me. It may not be 50/50. ***, it may be 90/10. I don't know. I'm just tired of having these thoughts about being hated or misunderstood by both, hetero and LGBTQ+ communities. I don't like the "us vs them" feeling. I feel so much guilt too, when I see myself as straight. I just don't understand. I can't speak for others. It would be wrong for me to do that. I can't say I'm a part of a community if I don't know all of the people personally. That doesn't mean I can't be kind or respectful. I just don't know. I don't understand. I don't know how to feel. I don't know where I belong. And I'd like to help those that are suffering. I feel so hesitant though because media scares the *** out of me when it comes to believing in something I can't see right in front of me, but ***, if people are suffering, I want to help. I know there are some tangents in here, but I've got so much confusion and fear and I don't know what to do.