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arcticSquare665
484 M Embraced 4
PathStep 6 Compassion hearts45 Forum posts14 Forum upvotes15 Current upvotes15 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2024 Member sinceJuly 1, 2022
Bio

I enjoy creating music and playing games. I love the Arctic and Antarctic. I want to explore the world but I am mentally bound to the indoors. I want to overcome my intrusive thoughts and see the world for what it really is. I want to be the best person I can be.

Recent forum posts
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porn addiction resources
Addiction Support / by arcticSquare665
Last post
 October 26th, 2023
...See more everything either costs money or is religion based. does anyone have anything that could help.
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porn addiction is a nightmare
Alcohol & Drug Addiction Support / by arcticSquare665
Last post
 October 22nd, 2023
...See more looking for resources on porn addiction counseling or support groups. everything I've found costs money or is religion based. it doesn't really seem fair.
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How to manage withdrawals?
Addiction Support / by arcticSquare665
Last post
 September 17th, 2023
...See more Hello. I've been an addict for 9 years now. Been trying to quit for 3-4 years. I keep falling back into addiction despite experiencing a horrible anxiety and depression that follows every relapse. My situation feels nightmarish at times and I often feel like I'm losing myself. Does anyone know how I might be able to manage these withdrawals and actually have control over my body? I don't know how long I can last under these conditions.
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I don't know where I belong
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by arcticSquare665
Last post
 June 3rd, 2023
...See more I think I'm bi, but I still see myself as straight sometimes. I don't like the heterosexual community that I have been around, mostly because of my parents, media, and all the trouble that hetero, cis, allo seem to cause to LGBTQ+. Although I don't think I fit in with LGBTQ+ because I'm not "bi enough" or I don't understand the oppression that others face or that I'm not "queer enough". It seems it would be appropriation for me to consider myself a part of the LGBTQ+ community. I also have reoccurring fears of being hated by LGBTQ+ people because I've done something wrong, I don't belong, I don't understand something, or I did something disrespectful. I think these fears developed when I was young since I would always seem to be around media and people that painted LGBTQ+ in a hateful light, watching news stories about protests and peers/parents thinking it was ridiculous. My parents still find a lot of it ridiculous, which makes it tough to even be around them. I've come to a point where I stand in-between. I don't associate with any community, yet. I know how I feel about the same sex. I know there's some bi in me. It may not be 50/50. ***, it may be 90/10. I don't know. I'm just tired of having these thoughts about being hated or misunderstood by both, hetero and LGBTQ+ communities. I don't like the "us vs them" feeling. I feel so much guilt too, when I see myself as straight. I just don't understand. I can't speak for others. It would be wrong for me to do that. I can't say I'm a part of a community if I don't know all of the people personally. That doesn't mean I can't be kind or respectful. I just don't know. I don't understand. I don't know how to feel. I don't know where I belong. And I'd like to help those that are suffering. I feel so hesitant though because media scares the *** out of me when it comes to believing in something I can't see right in front of me, but ***, if people are suffering, I want to help. I know there are some tangents in here, but I've got so much confusion and fear and I don't know what to do.
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Unwanted Homophobic Thoughts
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by arcticSquare665
Last post
 January 2nd, 2023
...See more Hi. I'm struggling with some thoughts that make me really uncomfortable and I don't know how to deal with them. I'm a male, though I have been questioning my gender and sexuality for a while, but I have no idea and it's super confusing. Anyway, I have a really good friend that reblogs media and posts that relate to homosexuality frequently. They are gay and are in a relationship with my other best friend and we all get along really well. For some reason, seeing these posts about homosexuality make me feel really angry, lonely, and insecure. I try to find answers as to why I feel this way. I always thought I was just tired of hearing about homosexuality, but then would that be homophobic? Then maybe I thought this was just classic loneliness making me envious of other people, but why specifically homosexual posts? (It is worth mentioning that seeing couples regardless of sexuality online can make me feel lonely, so it could be that.) Then maybe I thought that the environment I grew up in as a kid conditioned me to feel biased against homosexuality, but I don't have anything against it! I even have sexual thoughts qbout the opposite sex sometimes, so I'm just really confused and tired of this anger coming out of nowhere. I'm scared. Whenever I see so many posts about gay and lesbian, it just makes me feel exhausted and angry, and I hate it. I don't know where this is coming from. If anyone has an idea, please let me know. Thank you.
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Tired of hearing myself think.
Anxiety Support / by arcticSquare665
Last post
 December 19th, 2022
...See more Stuck in my head. Can't do anything to get out. Angry at everything. Trying to see it through. Consumed by emotions and thoughts. Trapped inside and outside. Can't talk to people good. Afraid of manipulating others to give me attention. Always want attention. Afraid of being trapped. Don't know what to do. Keep breathing until what. I already did the exercises. It's still happening. I can't stop thinking. Plug in another guided meditation, get addicted to being told what to do. Do I be strong or become weak. What's my best option. What's the best outcome. Just pour all the words onto the canvas and let it all out. See my words and keep scrolling. See my words and leave a reply. I'm here and this is what's happening. It's going to fade away eventually. The words just keep coming. And then post.
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I'm distant from everything
Anxiety Support / by arcticSquare665
Last post
 July 4th, 2022
...See more I'm sitting in a separate room from my friends my thoughts are racing there is no silence it's going and going it just keeps going I can't stop really fast weeee lot of pain don't know what to do a lot going on nowhere to go yay hello everyone it's 7 cups time
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