I feel myself in a dead end

I'm 29, and I used to identify myself as a straight for most of my life. However, now I understand that I've never been such. Since I was a teenager, I've been interested in men. It was hard to face this, yet there are too many things that evidence me being a bisexual, at least.

My first sexual experience with a man happened when I was 22, and I mostly enjoyed it. However, I was grown up as a straight man, and it's hard for me to imagine how it's like - to be with the man regularly, so I've limited myself to some one-night-stands, continuing to call myself “straight.” You know, “it’s not something serious, it's just a curiosity; I'm just an open-minded person and see nothing special in having sex with men.”

Now I've been in a heterosexual relationship for the last four years, and we are planning our wedding. But somewhere deep inside me, I feel it's wrong, and I won't be happy cause this is not what I want.

I'm freaking afraid of coming out cause this is not what my family will understand and accept. My father, who is extremely valuable to me, is entirely homophobic. I fear that he will deny me.

And I'm addicted to my current bride. We live in here flat cause I don't have my own, which is a physical addiction. Moreover, I don't want to hurt her now, when she is finally in therapy and fighting her depression.

But I'm so freaking FOMO my “true” life, so I'm completely paralyzed.