Has anyone ever confessed feelings for a straight friend? What was the aftermath?
I was friends with a straight girl for over a year and finally confessed my feelings in December. Prior to me confessing, she would say things to me like Id accept you if you were gay. She would sometimes hold my hand, lean her leg on mine when wed be laying in bed, and one time responded to me telling her about having a dream about a girl by saying Id let a girl go down on me. She was always very sweet when we used to text, saying I miss you often and calling me babe. I was tired of mixed signals, so I finally confessed. At first she was kind - she said she knew I was gay the whole time, just didnt know I liked her personally. She said she loved me as a friend but not to worry because this wouldnt change or ruin our friendship. However, when I finally saw her in person she was cold and uncomfortable. She told me I need to get over it and she doesnt feel bad for me. Could barely look me in the eye, and felt weird when I was walking behind her. I felt stupid for confessing because of how uncomfortable she now felt around me. I tried to keep our friendship going after this but it became one sided. She stopped messaging me and looking for me all together even though she said she wouldnt do that. Now its been over 6 months since weve last spoken or seen each other and I feel like an idiot and a weirdo that ruined a friendship. Has anyone gone through something similar? How do I move on from this?
@originalSnow62
hello! i have gone through this! unfortunately it does suck at first. in my case, i had a huge crush on my best friend since kindergarten. she was a cute girl and i told her how i felt. she explained to me that she doesnt feel the same and she isnt a lesbian. i apologized to her and said im sorry if i came off too strong i didnt mean to create this awkwardness. after that i gave her space and let her work out her feelings with herself. i gradually weened myself back into her life and it happened almost naturally. im sorry that youre going through this, i understand its really difficult. i hope things look up for you and you can restructure your friendship with her! best wishes xx
@originalSnow62 Yes but i didnt confess to her it just happened by chance that she knew and she of course avoided me for how many years, but when we met 4 or 5 years later we became close friends again, so dont worry eventually you will be friends again just give it time
@originalSnow62 hey im so sorry youre going through this. Im currently in a very simiallar perdicament. I fell in love with my bestfriend and he found out about my feelings for him and it was disastorous at first. He took out all of his anger on me and then he spent two months not speaking to me and barely being able to look me in the eye. It was tortorous but he had told me before that he was very homophobic and our society is also not the most LGBT friendly. Until now i am still so conflicted with these emotions inside of me, but the most thing that helps me get through it is this concept of respect. Respect in two different ways. Firstly respect to this other person, you may be the most wonderful and kind and good person, but if this person can not see past this point and does not want you in their life than you need to respect this decision. Im sorry for being so blunt about it, but i found that often bluntness helps me because its easy to manipulate ourselves into self pity and victimizing ourselves. Second, and even more important, is respect for yourself. You need to respect yourself and your needs and your own emotions. Listen to yourself and what your body needs, and try to figure out whats the best decision for yourself, no matter how much it hurts now, try and think of whats the best thing you can do for yourself in the long term. Because you deserve to be loved, and the first person who should be giving you that love is yourself. Im so sorry youre in this position, i hope more than anything that both me and you get out of it. Lets stay strong for each other and keep fighting through it no matter what. Because at the end of the day we deserve to be loved the same way we love. and one day we will find that <3
