I can't stop thinking about this!
Hi there! So I'm just going to get right down to it.
Last October I was dumped after a relationship that lasted a little over six months but we were best friends two years before we got into the relationship. When he broke up with me, he spent a week ignoring me and avoiding me, saying he needed his space. When he dumped me he said that it was because a relationship was not what he needed at the moment because he needed to focus on himself. However, a week later he got into a relationship with another girl! Two months ago or so he did the same thing to that girl, dumped her randomly out of the blue and is now in a brand new relationship. I'm just providing this all for some background knowledge.
At the time we were dating, I'd identified as bisexual but almost immediately after getting out of the relationship, I'd realized I'm a lesbian and just hadn't realized it sooner because I had been exploring my sexuality while I was in a relationship. I say this because I don't miss him or the relationship at all, I'm glad that it ended. But all this time later and I still get really sad and bitter about how it ended and how I was treated during the process. It was really bad. I thought I'd gotten over it but now it seems I still have some unresolved anger because I can't stand hearing any mention of him and I think about constantly what happened and how I was treated. I'm not sure what to do or why I am still thinking about this.
@generousShip3968 I regret a lot about that relationship. I did a lot sexually with him even though I didn't really enjoy it because I just thought that's what you did with people you cared about. Later when I realized I'm a lesbian it makes sense as to why I didn't enjoy certain things. This does not help when I thinking about what happened and my bitterness towards how it ended.
@generousShip3968 it's ok to feel like this, you were treated terribly and there's nothing wrong in being still upset and angry anytime you think about it. Even more so because you now realize you did things you didn't enjoy just because you thought you should do it, and you know he wasn't worth this sacrifice. But now you know who you are, you've come a long way and you finally know what you need to be happy. Though the anger is still strong, try to go on with your life day by day, enjoy all the beautiful things along the way, look for them, and don't be afraid to let good things in your life. You were hurt before, but you deserve to be happy, and when someone special will arrive and you'll feel like your heart is opening again, let the lucky woman in. The happiness you'll find along the way will help you letting go of the pain of the past.
@Aayla thank you so much for your kind words. I greatly appreciate it. Much love to you! :) <3