I'll Be In the Closet Forever?

Hi Im not in a crisis, but Im pretty darn miserable

Im a 19-year-old lesbian and Im crazy far into the closet

My family is insanely religious and homophobic. Im scared out of my mind for when I come out (if I ever even build up the courage to do so)

I have so much anxiety around this and its awful. And it doesnt feel like it will ever get better. Im just miserable and life seems pointless. Im not suicidal I just kinda hate life atm. I want to live its just so so awful at the moment.

I went to talk to a counselor about how Im feeling and they told me that I can talk to them, but otherwise they dont know how to help me. And I realized people can give me all the advice they want, but Im the one who has to deal with this stupid weight and Im so irritated by it.

I want to come out so bad, but I dont want to deal with the emotional torment my parents would give me would slowly destroy me

Does it really get better? Because it feels like it never ever will