Lost and alone and gay

I'm trying to figure out how to navigate life being a lesbian woman. I have no interest in a romantic/sexual relationship with men. I like girls and that has been so so hard to deal with. My parents don't support me and I have a really hard time talking to my friends about everything. Most of my friends are straight and I don't have any close LGBTQ+ friends. I just feel lost. There aren't a lot of other lesbian or bi girls where I live and I just feel different and miserable. I just want to be able to live happily and have a cute relationship with someone. I don't want to be judged I don't want to have to deal with all of this it isn't fair I'm so done. I'm sorry I'm venting it's like 2 am here and these forums were the only place I could think left to just get this out somehow. Therapy is just too expensive at the moment so talking in a community of people like me is something I guess. I'm scared to be myself. I'm scared to take chances. I'm scared to look for happiness. I'm scared. I talked to a girl on twitter and I was crushing on her for a while, but she lives on the other side of the US and I'm worried I'm just imposing my feelings of loneliness and wanting someone to like me and sense of belonging on her. We confessed over message that we both had crushes on each other. We'd never chatted in person. We recently sent each other video messages and I heard her voice and I feel like a horrible horrible person for saying this, but I don't like her voice. It isn't at all what I thought it would be like. And that is such a mean thing to say. I'm just wondering now though how much of her is just a fantasy in my brain. How much can you really get to know someone over message. Also, I've only known her for a month. Why did this happen? I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. We are planning to Skype for real on Monday, but I'm just so worried we won't click. A message is just so different than talking. It's so easy to give off an impression of yourself over message than real life. Honestly, I have no idea what I just wrote it's 2:30 am here and I'm exhausted. I just feel lonely and lost and I wish I could talk to someone. I don't know how to navigate life at the moment and I feel like I'm having an identity crisis. I swear I don't know who I am or what I want or how to do all this. Okay, that sounds dumb I'm going to sleep.