amplifying what it means to be "attracted" to men and downplaying my attraction to women
i realized i subconsciously dismiss my attraction to women as friendship and amplify what "attraction" to men is. for example, i could think something about a guy such as "wow, he's cool i want to play video games with him or have a chat" or something else that is me wanting to strictly just be friends and think that's what attraction to men is. but with girls i'll think about how much i want to be close physically with a particular girl or kiss or hold hands with a her and sometimes i'll think it's just me wanting to be "really good friends" with her when in reality it's attraction. obviously now identifying as a lesbian i am aware logically that wanting to be friends with men isn't attraction, and that i am only attracted to women but sometimes the comphet hits hard. any other lesbians relate?
Hello @funnyDog8378
I'm not a lesbian, but I do know a thing or two about comphet! I also have experienced it in the past, and even now it can be difficult to distinguish between platonic and romantic feelings I have towards men. I promise you are not alone in this :)
@funnyDog8378
Even being aware of this comphet can seem so contradicting. I can only imagine what it's like for you. I identify as queer (also in an attempt to not talk about my gender) but I have heard of and read a thing called lesbian masterdoc. It is kind of a guide to those questioning and exploring their internal comphet, if there's any. Maybe you could take a look at that if you'd like (and if you haven't already lol)! I wish I could say more, will try to come back to this later. 🙂 Feel free to tag me and talk more about this or anything else, I'd be happy to listen. ❤️
and of course, what you're feeling is so very valid and understandable!