Confused
Hello, I apologize if I posted in the wrong forum. I
have a fear of coming out to my mom that i'm
pansexual. I used to believe that I was bisexual
but trans women have caught my eye and men
are
just nice to look at now and I don't want anything
sexual or romantic with a man. I was sexually
assaulted and that trauma turned me paranoid
schizophrenic. I have thought about giving BJ’s to
a possible significant other but the trauma is too
much and I know for a fact that I could never. I
don't know if it's the trauma and voices making
me think this way or if it's my heart.
@philosophicalBirch7799 hi there! just an FYI, attraction to a trans person doesn't indicate whether you are pansexual or not :) trans men are still men, and trans women are still women! the term trans just indicates that the person in front of you no longer identifies with the gender (and probably sex) they were assigned to at birth.
i would understand you saying that you are pansexual because you have noticed attraction to people to people of all genders (men, women, non binary people, androgynous people, genderfluid people), but please try not to describe yourself with a sexuality because you are simply attracted to a man or a woman. sending lots of love to you and i hope you manage to come out!
I'm in a similar position. Not the mom part, but having been sexually traumatized my whole childhood, and feeling like I can never do oral to anyone. I was told as a young child that nobody would ever marry me if I didn't do oral. I healed enough to enjoy other parts of the sexual experience, but not that one. I still have that thing rolling around in my brain that nobody is ever going to want me, regardless of their gender. I hope you will seek counseling with a therapist familiar with both trauma and LGBTQ issues. That's what I am doing.