Gender identity, me

Hi. I’ve been questioning myself (as gender identity mainly) for about 7 months now. The more i think the less i know what i am. I kind of feel like nothing is right. Maybe my other difficulties are making it hard right now.

When i think about past then i see patterns how i was masculine or never thought about gender really. How puberty was scaring me. How i wish to be born guy cause maybe i’ll feel atleast peace at this part of myself, but i think i would be emotionally f*cked up. Idk…

And wanting to be guy now, with that face and look what i got. Feels off. It’s hard to see myself as myself. I wish i knew what was right…i think it’s too less time of thinking about it. Only 7 months… well. The more i think the more i notice how i’ve been thinking sbout being male and all before also, even asking my friend how would i be when i was a guy? She said i would be cool. Just…unique…it made me happy what she said.

i ramble

Anyway. If i was trans i would maybe be like soft boy. I’m not fully masculine. I like feminine stuff and cute stuff…. But it’s hard to be cute and feminine while also trying to look and feel like a guy. Sometimes i feel like i am right, then i look at the mirror and see not myself in there. Even face is wrong. Idk…

i just wanted to say things out in some community. Some support or anything u have to say is appreciated. I know i talk a lot so i don’t expect anyone read it all through.