Not Sure What to Do
Flowers97
October 20th, 2025
Hello,
To be honest I'm not sure how to even start this but I'm a bisexual female. My family is a complicated bunch to put it politely. Because of that I've always tried to be the mediator between them and not stray to far from what they believe is right. But after several incidents I'm just exhausted. I want to stop lying all the time and feeling so frustrated with myself. But every time I am tempted to come out to my family they will make a homophobic comment or insult. Now, I feel trapped. On good days I'll be fine and be an embarrassing hopeless romantic about things. Then on bad days I'll feel a lot of self-loathing and shame. At times it gets so bad that its hard to breath. I don't know what to do.
Aayla
October 21st, 2025
@Flowers97 I'm very sorry about what you're going through. I understand the feeling of wanting to be out and free to express yourself, to just stop hiding. But I also understand the feeling that it's not gonna be worth the hate you'll get. Coming out is not necessarily the only way to be happy: everyone must decide for themselves, based on what they think will make them happier and more fulfilled.
There's no universal solution, it's up to you to decide what will make you more fulfilled: the ability to express yourself openly, or the comfort and safety of not having to face hate, at least not now. Weighing the two options and finding out what is the best for you is no easy task, but it's entirely your decision and no one should tell you that you "should" do this or that. What burdens you the most? What is worth the possible consequences? What course of actions do you think will take the biggest burden off of you? You can ponder all this, while also reminding yourself that there real is no instruction book to follow, so you don't have to be hard on yourself.
Whatever happens, don't let them get to your head. No one has the right to make you feel like something is wrong with you. The way you love or the way you you experience attraction is nothing to be ashamed of. People should only be judged (if they have to be changed at all) by how they act and they treat other people, not by something as harmless and natural as the attraction they feel.
