Can t trust relationships
Hey,
I’m 30 years old, I haven’t been in a relationship for 6 years now, she cheated, but I wasn’t the best of boyfriends also, I forgave her, but not the act if it makes sense. Haven t had any sexual relations for almost the sametime, people look at me and think I can get girls, but in truth all my life as been my difficulty, don t really know why, even though I had quite some girls like me but I don t know maybe I couldn’t see it or I didn’t know what to do or I did but I never took it further, now I know what to do and even how to be, but can’t trust women really, and the more I try to understand women the less I do.
*** the more I try to understand how to be in a relationship the more defensive I become, and the more it hurts it makes no sense to me relationships, I know we all have our needs and we have to try to meet them, but it seems that women ask too much, or maybe I am the one who can t really take it, probably it’s my fault, maybe I am contra natur, even though I want closeness , and sex, and connection, I wish I could be what women ask of men, but even konwing I can it seems so false to me so selfish from the womens part.
I understand women look for safety and all but I am human too, I also need to be seen and loved even when I am weak, but women don t know how to do that, and maybe we men can’t love a women that is not that attractive to us, even though unatractive girls, at least by societal or survival standards, can get far more man then man that even though are attractive are not that confident, at least in my experience.
Maybe we are all just selfish and I can t see why should I be with somoene, even though I really want to and I am in love with a girl that already has somoene, and she lives rent free in my head. And because of all of this I am addicted to porn, the only way that I can have some relief I guess.
Sorry for the rant, thank you
@Loveandtruth1995
Sadly, you have created an opinion about all relationships and women and that will get in your way of anything real. NOT all women feel or do the same things or are preprogrammed. you have a crush on someone else's girl but that is NOT love that is lust. One sided love is not real or healthy you only see what you want and do not see the flaws or issues.
I think once you get past your past experiences and your assumptions you can meet someone. They will be there when you are weak and not only expect things from you. You have to be open as most people who will be a match you cannot see across a room or with someone else......... but need to get to know and build a relationship that works for both
@Loveandtruth1995
Hey, I understand how you feel but there is something you do need to know
love works like faraday's laws (if you know what i mean)
the more you try to get it, the more it stays away from you and I know that's easy to say, I myself have countered this argument many times but to truly be capable of loving one has to improve himself, It sounds tough but think of it like this
Focus on growing a garden, and the butterflies will come your way, and even if they don't come you still have a garden :)
on the wrong days this sounds like absolute bs to really lonely people (been there) but it's the truth I realised after resisting it for quite some time, I hope this helps.
@Loveandtruth1995
i can relate
