Ex partner issues
Morning all
Searching online and found this forum so figured I'd ask on here too see if anyone else has experienced the same
So bit about me 40 year old male, 1 daughter 3 years old with ex partner.
So me and my ex split up over a year ago as she felt I couldn't give her enough time. We both live inside London uk. I'm in the private renting sector at a cost of £1200 a month while shes on the dole but has her own council flat. She lives with her brother in his council house but he is pretty disabled. She also has another child from another guy.
I have too work 6 days a week too just about get by as im the wrong side of £25k in debt.
For a while we was getting along reasonably well. When I went too see my daughter I'd occasionally take her and her boy out as hes got autism, adhd so instead of sitting in front of the tv it got them out the house. I see them on average 2-3 times a week.
I've decided that im going too move house as work is available for me but its 120 miles away so thats all going ahead at present.
My ex see a photo of me and the new girlfriend and shes blown her absolute lid at me.
She's going off on whattsapp status saying
Can't see your daughter but can drive 300 mile to see your new girlfriend
I'm a useless dad
Just basically making out im a waste of space human.
She didn't even get my daughter too get me a card for father's day recently despite me sending her £400 a month. She's also hacked off with me coz I didn't get my little one any nappies one day bearing in mind im driving 240 mile a day (5-6hours) to get too and from work for a month
Has anyone else had any similar experiences with their ex partner making them feel pretty worthless over something so small and because im trying too move on in life.
Cheers all
@politePrune6134
Unfortunately, after a breakup, one partner saying things intended to make the other partner feel worthless, happens a lot. Such behavior can be more extreme if one partner has moved on, but the other one hasn’t. If an ex-partner sees the other one happy while they’re still alone and hurting, it’s hard to take. That’s not to justify such behavior, but understanding it may be helpful.
I have no idea if that’s what’s happening in your situation, but reading about it brought back some of my unfortunate memories. My ex behaved similarly, and in some ways, more extreme. I had zero self-confidence at the time of the breakup and at the same time she was trying to hurt me, I was trying to help her. I gave her child support for months after she’d dropped him off to live with me permanently, because I knew she was having a hard time financially. What was really bizarre was that she showed up at my job, and told my co-workers I’d been having an affair. That was a mistake because I lived just a few blocks from my job, and for years, I was either at work, at home, or with her. It was a small town, and everyone knew there was no way I’d have had time for an affair. It also made no sense because if she’d succeeded in messing up my job, I can’t imagine how she thought I’d be able to keep giving her money. Later, my son told me that she’d been mixing alcohol and drugs, so I doubt if she was making sense even to herself.
I guess the above is a bit of a rant, but it’s also an example of how people may not act with emotional maturity when dealing with ex-partners.
You indicate that you visit the kids 2-3 times a week, so I don’t see why your ex cares about the distance you travel to see your current girlfriend.
It sounds like it would be beneficial to have something in writing regarding who pays for nappies, visiting arrangements, and whatever contentious issues that come up.
It doesn’t sound like your ex is likely to think of things like father’s day cards or holiday invitations, unless your relationship with her improves.
Driving such a distance to and from work sounds expensive, both from fuel and maintenance costs. I hope you can improve your logistical and financial circumstances.