Empathy not through harshness but though love and understanding

i feel like this toughness thing is what makes things hard , like do this now, or trying to take decisions for you,  is what makes us fall in the victim guilt trip even harder for sure, not everyone is the same and might feel the same, hard to know what is really happening inside someone. 

 My father thinks by being harsh he could make me grow but what he was doing was more like impose himself, and trying to do things for me, is kinda thinking he knows what is best, like he could literally live life for me. Sometimes when we try to help someone, even if we think they are at risk we tend to or might get ourselves more harsher than usual. but i think for recovery, although there are no magical solutions like do this and this will happen, is more about adapting , and seeing what works, but i tend to think empathy tends to work better. Also too many chefs on the kitchen makes things go bad we can overwhelm someone by everyone spouting things at the same time.

Also there is always the disconnection from what we say to what we feel is really hard to put into words what is happening to us, what we feel were are we at right now and ontop of that how is that being understood and translate by the other person. and ontop of that the message that the other person is telling us , so big disconnection. so that can be rather complicated indeed.

But empathy and trying to at least, and giving space, not the harsh stone of do this do that, go to school study, do this, be good, smile, walk straight, feels like it. not mandates, but trying to get down to feelings, how is the person feeling, how to ease people in, to let them , feel all warmth and fuzzy inside, get that cosy feeling you ll want to go back to and will help you feel at home and not want to relapse, cause you know you have a warmth place to be at , and wont feel bad if you relapse, and want to try more to get there, cause of the love, not the harshness. That is what i feel a lot of the world lacks, empathy, but you can find it, that is why i think sticking to rules helps at times, despite not seeing or understanding why, and but understanding works better. We bond each other, knowing we try to help. and i make mistakes too, you know, but making mistakes is what helps sometimes if i learn from them, and knowing i can keep on making mistakes but not to fall on the guilt trip, ot being self harsh, like saying nasty things to myself to try to snap out of it how they used to say but more like grow out of it, as in mature it that is why i highly dislike the trying to grow though harshness. cause we need to understand things, and for sure not to just ruminate on it , cause that can happen too and understanding and sharing experiences, and growing together or trying to

@CommunityModAaron  @Noraa