Reflecting

As a grown up person trying to lead an independent living, meeting challenges every now and then, i have spent long time reflecting on the way i was raised. I have came up with the idea that these challenges are mostly due to defects in the how i was raised. 

So, at times of challenges, i catch myself thinking of those defects, blaming my parents,  and consequently my relationship with them becomes tensive. (my current relation is based on as far as safe)  

I don't like being in tension with them. Part because i don't like being in tension. And part because it happens when i meet a challenge,so,i feel bad at myself. I think maybe i need to be more far. 

I can understand the way they live by. Can understand where the defects come from. I don't know how much they held responsible for those defects. I can say they don't represent an example i would like to be. 

I know they provided me with home, food. But i lacked other non materialistic.