How To Have A Mindful Conversation

Most of us would agree that honesty is not only a good policy, its what we most want and need in our relationships with others. Particularly in our closest relationships, a willingness to tell the truth is key to minimizing pain and maximizing understanding.

And by truth, Im not talking about some moralistic parting of clouds and downward-shining declarations from on high. Im not even referring to what most people are focused on when talking about honesty in relationships not the absence of lying or casting around blame about the who, what, where, when and how of our daily doings and misdoings. No Im focused on big T truth that is always accurate, can never be dismissed or argued away, and is always available. Im referring to the truth of our present moment experiencethe truth that arises amid the charge of interactions.

Ask yourself these things:

** Have I ever felt the throb of anger and resentment and told someone I was fine when asked?

** Have I ever stayed quiet about a loved ones unhealthy or risky choices even though every fiber of my body was screaming out with dread?

** Have I ever snapped, pushed, pulled, or shut down with someone and said it was something about them without saying or doing anything about how I was actually feeling and thinking in that moment?

** Have I ever said yes when your strong gut feeling was no or vice versa?

"We lie, not because were bad or inept, but because rapid, reactive blaming and bias toward others as threats to our well-being has helped us stay alive and thrive as a species in the past"-unknown

So really does this matter in "how" we talk to people? YES! As I feel when we value another we also should value in the words we speak tooHow does mindfulness play a part in this tho?? Well let's talk more on this......

Mindfulness Practice: Grabbing Truth and Letting Go of Being Right

1. Before,during,or right after a difficult interaction with someone, pause for a moment.

2. Notice sensations of anxiety, discomfort, or frustration that are showing up in your body.
Watch them move in your body with curious, compassionate attention. Breathe into and penetrate them. See the truth of thema truth that is direct and undeniable.

3. Slowly tighten your right hand into a fist. Draw your attention to the sensations there in your hand the pulsing and tension. Imagine all the tension, clenching or surging in your body gravitating to the sensations of your fist.

4. This entire practice may only last a few breaths, but notice how rapidly and readily you can direct your attention to this one area of your body. Breathe into the tension in your hand, regardless of what the other person has already said or done (or might). You get to choose how you relate to this tension in your body.

5. Now let go of the tension in your right hand and open it, facing the palm up. Notice the sensations in your hand, and the differences and changes as they occur. Watch how you can let go of being right and just witness the truth of what both your body and thoughts are saying. No need to grab onto or shove at anything if youre willing you can just let it all be just as it is. Bodily sensations, thoughts passing through your mind.

6. And now with a final deep breath, ask yourself: What matters most to me in this moment? What one thing do I most need or value? Perhaps its acceptance, validation, collaboration, emotional space, or even honesty itself.

Now everyone please share your thoughts on this

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