Mindfulness Daily Check-IN October 25,2018
HI Commuuuuunity out there
Alot of you I bet are wondering about those silly pictures up there-right? Well let me share on those and get right into the check-in for today. As you all know even I the elephant run into some life challenges as well as inner personal things. You do Rumple
Yes even me
So for today I'd like to chat a bit on "How we react to hearing feedback we just don't like"I recently went through this, but not face to face, but online. So already the communication can be misunderstood even though you have great intensions in sharing words. How many of you have some issues in this area as well? I believe many of us do. And for those that they are in check with this-great job
Recieving negative feedback really can be hurtful, even if the person doing it is nice and respectful. It is "how" we take it in, and go right into battle mode-lol Or we might snap back only making things abit worse. Or some of us may get silent and turn the feedback on self, and be so very hard on ourselves. Either way, however you react to negative feedback it really is unhealthy. Maybe do you think Mindfulness can help in this area?
Let's see how Mindfulness can help us in our reactions to feedback that is not sitting well with you....
You cant make others talk in a certain way- My emotions are my responsibility. No one can pour soothing neurochemicals into another persons brain to quell the fears that trigger defensiveness. We are ultimately responsible for understanding the fears we carry and for managing them when they interrupt our ability to engage in honest and open dialogue with others. The ultimate responsibility for making me feel safe falls on me.
You can make yourself feel safe-
Get ready before opening your ears. Never invite feedback until you are ready for it. Ready means that you want to hear the truth, not simply validation. If after receiving feedback you feel defensive, it might be that you wanted approval, not information. When others give you feedback, you set them up to fail when you make them responsible for your feelings of safety and worth. Find healthy ways to affirm and center yourself. Meditate. Reflect on your personal values and beliefs. Use whatever rituals work for you to connect with a sense of worth that is independent of others.
Step Away-
Yes, simply take the feedback, and step away if you need to. This gives you some time to calm yourself, adjust any feelings or thoughts, think of the right/appropriate response to give. Also you can do some Grounding to check in with yourself on this news to you.
I hope this little bit helps you out when you recieve some negative feedback. Honestly no one likes it-right? No one handles feedback in positive ways-we are human. Thing is we can always work or readjust some things on how we handle how WE respond. As you know we are not responsible for others actions only ourselves
So please share how you react to negative news/feedback....
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AH-HA! Feebdback! What a great topic! thank you so much! I feel as if I find my self many times of the day stepping away regaurdless of the situation. Stepping away is a very great skill. Often times I find my self in a place were I have to find something else to do and formulate a responce in my minuets away. Simply having another objective saved for a situation like that can give me the much need seconds to progress in a forward maner. Some times we have to find multiple forward progressing tacks of thought and multitask, too. For me these are the small wins in my in my life. the real Ah-Ha moment that make me feel acomplished.
@RumpleSteeleSkin I try to postpone a reaction by following my breath, looking around me, become quiet and move to a place where I feel safe and untouched by these thoughts and look at them carefully to see the wisest way to respond.
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Well, lets be very honest here Rumple, I'm the worst with negative feedback. I don't react badly to it necessarily, because I know how to keep friendly and polite, but inside my head it's a whole different story. I tend to create these imaginative discussions with the person who gave me the negative feedback, trying to come up with arguments on why this person is wrong.
Now i know I shouldn't, I know everyone is entitled to their own opinions and I definitely know that I'm not always right, and should accept it when someone corrects me. Especially when it is about something I've posted publicly (mostly online).
So yeah, receiving negative feedback is a bit of a weak spot for me, which I do want to get better at. I'm glad I've already acknowledged that I find it hard for myself. Negative feedback also used to bring down my self-esteem a lot, which it doesn't do anymore because I've become more aware of what the negative feedback does to me mentally.
It's a work in progress, which is why I highly appreciate your advise in this post
i think what is the most common response from me, is , nothing. then i think about whether or not i was already aware of that about myself, or if i even agree that it's true. maybe, i think, it's their problem, not mine. occassionally, tho, when it's not legitimate feedback or criticism, but just attack hostility, i react in kind, and that's never a good thing.
Thanks. This post came at the right time.
