Mindfulness Daily Check-In December 13, 2019
A wonderful Friday and weekend to everyone in the Mindfulness Community 
We all are different in our own ways, face our own challenges and sometimes would wish others would walk in our shoes to understand better how tough things can be.
So today, I like to invite you to walk in other people's shoes for a few minutes. Take a few minutes to imagine yourself wearing one pair or more of the following shoes, maybe some are already yours anyhow then please imagine to wear one of the others.
1. Imagine you're a senior in this fast paced world standing at the cashier and people push you to hurry up but you can't be faster because your hands are shaking.
2. Imagine you're a teen trying to find your place in this world whilst the media is constantly giving messages how pretty, how fit, how talented you should be.
3. Imagine sitting in a wheel chair trying to get on the side walk but there is no ramp and others just pass you.
4. Imagine people tell you it is wrong to have that loving partnership you have, in which you feel safe and happy because your partner has same gender.
5. Imagine being judged, even outcasted because you decided to transition into the gender with which you identify to be able to lock into the mirror and not hate your body but love it.
How did these few minutes feel in your heart?
Did you feel gratitute for how things are for you, see the silver lining in your situation?
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@amiablePeace77
I felt sad in my heart. Not gratitude.
Good to keep things in perspective. 🎍
@432HZPositiveVibes
awww huggles
Yes pain is one that is strong here. I'm sorry you feel no gratitude though. That is fine as for some it's really hard to see these things in tough times.When you are ready find one thing hun in your life you can be thankful for. I do hope you have some good holiday times coming
@432HZPositiveVibes
Sometimes it can be very hard to see the good in our situations, particularly when we are facing many challenges. I hope though that there will be something you can feel grateful for another day. Sorry that this exercise made you feel sad, hugs.
@amiablePeace77
Oh, there's been a misunderstanding in my message. I do feel gratitude in my life, everyday, I've been very lucky so far. 😊❤️ It's just during this exercise I only felt sad. Just my personal experience of it 🙂
@432HZPositiveVibes
Thanks for coming back. Sorry, I misunderstood but I am glad to hear how grateful you are about life 
.
@amiablePeace77 Wow Ami this made me pause. Although I am not ignorant to the truths of the world. I am guilty at times for not allowing myself to show compassion and empathy to others situations- due to being in a rush. But lately this is one of the things I take time to notice,feel and make sure I do not show any bad feelings or body language. I even have helped some just like in these exapmles. So this makes me feel more blessed and thankful for what I have then more so what I do not
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Rumple, we are living in a very fast paced world these days and sometimes get into a routine of just focussing on our own situation which might be very challenging and maybe do not notice what others are going through. I am trying to remind myself of it as well.
@amiablePeace77 yes I do agree with you totally. All we can do is gentle reminders to ourselves to notice things we normally do not. Pay attention to some folks we normally do not. Do kind things for people that are in our comfort circle. I do that and Im told I do big growth doing this. But for me it feels awesome to see them smile, hear a story or even a comfy hug
@RumpleSteeleSkin
That's pawsome that you help people.
@amiablePeace77
Persoanlly it did not make me feel grateful, I am several of those things on the list and am already feeling overwhelmed, this just made it all worse. It is like being told to eat up all your food on the plate because of the starving millions. Other people's difficulties do not make me feel glad of my own.
@indigoCup1959
Cup wonderful to see you here nowI am really sorry this made you feel overwhelmed-the intensions were not for this. Also we all deal with many mental health and health issues that get under our skin and make us more angry or other feelings. With mindfulness it teaches us to come "out of ourselves" and look at others. No not judge them, but for some acceptance and gratefulness-even in their storms. No one is dismissing your feelings or health/mental health issues.
In any situation you can always find a musturd seed of hope and gratefulness. hugs
@RumpleSteeleSkin
I am sorry that you misunderstood me. I must have given the wrong impression and I see that it has happened with someone else too. It is not that I don't feel gratitude in my life. It is the exercise questions that were triggering and I have had more than enough triggering at the moment. My mindfulness is being heavily taxed and the questions didn't help. I should just have walked past them and ignored them. Thank you for your intention though
@indigoCup1959
I am very sorry that this added to worsen your present feelings. Hugs (if you accept). I hope things will improve for you.
@amiablePeace77
Things will improve, they always change. I have just had added to the list of trauma related ill health the diagnosis of dystonia. This actually is helpful because it makes sense of all the balance problems and falls. Physio says it is because of my overwhelmed ANS. This makes perfect sense and is what I am working on using Peter Levines and Irene Lyons work and Trauma sessitive yoga etc . My father died of Parkinsons and dytonias is related and as in Parkinsons GABBA and dopamine are involved. I am the elderly person with the shakes. I wont go on down your list otherwise self pity will arise & feed into despair. Then more work still for mindfulness.
@indigoCup1959
Sorry to hear that your father suffered from Parkinsons and passed away.
I can only imagine how tough it must for be you to deal with the daily routine, managing challenges and conflicts situations when the ans is on high alert. I hope that the yoga sessions and self-help guides on this site will help.
@amiablePeace77
Many thanks. My misery did turn to despair bt I slowed down on Monday deleiberately and things went fine on Christmas Day and the relative rest I had yesterday and the 2 previos days lifed some of my overwhelment. Now to keep that up!
@indigoCup1959
Great you decided to slow down, it can change so much! Have you thought about making a particular daily self-care schedule?
@amiablePeace77
Thank you amiablePeace and yes I have and yes I have done. This month I am doing the Irene Lyon 21 day tune up exercises, Peter Levine's exercises as long as trauma is not too triggered and I am getting much better and knowing when that is, Some Tai Chi and if time some yoga. This is each day. And making sure I have some human contact every day if poss. Not really possible this month as most people are out of town. It is the cruise ships that are in. However I have it on good authority that even watching TV with characters you like bring you into ventral vagal functioning.
What is rather horrifying to me is how many typing errors I make while typing this quite slowly. I don't mean spelling mistakes but hitting the wrong keys. There were 63 in this short text I really do have a problem with dystonia.
The problem came before Christmas. If you think you have Christmas frenzy in USA come to NZ; it is dreadful. It is the summer that does it. But it is also the appalling comercialisation that causes the city to get gridlocked so that traveling becomes more difficult. The need to cope with the spring garden and the violent equinoctial winds, the packing up of people going off work for a month so appointments have to be fitted in. The emotional stuff of families sorting out their Christmas arrangements as well as their summer holidays and trying to combine that logistically. Who goes to where and why creates uncertainty and confusion. Toxic. Combine that with missing my husband dreadfully and several family members birthdays (including his) would overwhelm the stoutest.
What I reflected on in the stories was Patience. I oftentimes don't have much but I try to remember that someone at some point might need to wait on me.
I look in the mirror and never like who I see but I try to learn to accept me because I can not change me.
@scarletPear1945 wow great that you are hereWow I just want to shake your hand at how you were so mindful in reflecting this daily check in! Patience I myself would never of thought of that one. It is good though to be patient with another as you do not know their own storey and what is behind their smile. Acceptance and being mindful are two things very hard to do PLUS being mindful of the situation and YOU. You are doing it though in your own way. Hugs to you as you are special as we all are
@RumpleSteeleSkin
I have a hard time with patience.
@scarletPear1945
That is such an awesome way of being.
I am a teenager trying to live with a TBI, (traumatic brain injury) trying to figure out my place in life.
@Fireskye13
Hi, it's Ami, nice to meet you Fireskye . I am very sorry to hear you're suffering from TBI.
It's hard to find your place in this world as a young person, there are so many external challenges, so many demands from school but also internal struggles when growing up. I am glad you took the initiative to look for support. We have a number of teen sections in various communities but also pop up chats. Here are some links which are hopefully helpful to you:
https://www.7cups.com/forum/TraumaSupport_60/TeensTraumaRecoveryCorner_1426/
https://www.7cups.com/forum/MindfulnessCenter_106/TeensExploringMindfulness_1877/
https://www.7cups.com/forum/GroupModZone_168/ObsDesk_2008/GroupSupportUpdatesPartII_214359/ - information about rooms with teen support
to see when teen support chats are scheduled please check our community calendar: https://www.7cups.com/home/communityCalendar.php
@amiablePeace77
Hi ami thanks so much, I appreciate it.
hello, doing ok
Some times it is hard to focus on gratitude when there are so many trees that hide or cloud your view. Learning that some times I need to put on my binoculars so I can see a little better and a bit further than my natural eyes.
@scarletPear1945
I liked the way you put it and it's so true.
Some times it is hard to focus on gratitude when there are so many trees that hide or cloud your view. Learning that some times I need to put on my binoculars so I can see a little better and a bit further than my natural eyes.
@amiablePeace77
I focused on gratitude on Christmas Day. And I certainly had something to be grateful for, the ability to take in others pleasure and feel it as my own. As a result I felt filled up rather than empty. This is all a new way of being able to be for me. Thank you for keeping it in my mind even if I didnt like the exercise!
@indigoCup1959
From what you wrote before I can see how difficult things are for you but it's great that you try to help yourself in so many different ways, hope things will improve. Writing with dystonia is challenging, but honestly I even did not see the mistakes you made. Have you tried Grammarly or something similar to autocorrect your texts?
Glad you could feel the joy of others, I too find it warms my heart, makes me feel happy when I see others being happy
@amiablePeace77
I corrected the mistakes using the spelling checker in the posting options. That's how I knew how many I had made. I wrote a book at top speed 20 yrs ago. If I had made that many mistakes I would never have got it done. Until this diagnosis I had started to think there was something wrong with the keyboard but it was the same with both computers and my cell phone. The beauty of the phone is that if I watch carefully predictive text finishes words correctly for me even though the keypad is so much smaller. It does make for very slow writing though. I do sometimes use Google voice and then go back and manually edit it. That does speed things up a bit.
@indigoCup1959
Those are great options, guess voice recognition software can speed things up too, did not know about it until I heard it in a chat here (from soulsings)
@amiablePeace77
Google voice works quite well as long as you are patient with it to start with. You need a bit of practice with dictation to use it well, which I did have. So I cant say how a novice would do. It is something about pacing your voice and speaking with an even tone.
@amiablePeace77
I also want to reply with my heart as well as my mind. You had remembered other things I had written and that is quite overwhelmingly lovely. My tears rise. And indigocup (whatever number - I can't remember what it is) is such a silly name how can it be memorable? Yours is much more memorable. I know that is my childhood talking but I do want to say I appreciate it. With my words and a sadly inadequate verbal hug 👩❤️👩
@indigoCup1959
I love verbal hugs! (sends some back to you).
Changing the user name can only be done within 2 weeks after opening the account but you can still email community@7cups.com in this respect.
I personally find indigo very nice (hope you do not mind me saying this) , indigo people are very special people.
@amiablePeace77
Thank you so much! It is not the indigocup bit, it is the unmemorable number! I have had my car for at least 5 yrs and I cant remember its registration number. I knew I couldn't change it but thanks for the info about possibilities. I shan't bother to change, there would just end up another layer of problem. With my 7cups therapist we have had major problems with texts going missing, complaint underway, and today I got a censored message for a text to her that had nothing more offensive than Health and Disability Advocacy, the word email, and the advocates Christian name for ease of use. It later let the name through so that cant be the problem. I have used Christian names often. It went on and on being censored written in multiple ways. I am getting disillusioned with 7cups. A great idea but I think too big for its resources. It is no use if therapists cant make a reliable space, I might as well write in my journal as write unanswered texts. Sorry to moan. I am tired. Here is a face massage for you! 💆
@indigoCup1959
Hi there, sorry to hear about the problems you have, good you wrote 7cups about it. I hope the issues with the missing messages will be solved soon. Please dont let this spoil your experience with 7cups. People here are working hard to get things sorted out but of course, nothing is 100 %. May I ask what do you like most about the site?
Btw, I find remembering numbers hard sometimes too so I exchange them by letters from the alphabet (1=A, etc.) and build a sentence, for example 1959 Ally is eating icecream, something easier to remember for the brain (not as abstract as a number)
@amiablePeace77
There isn't very much I like on 7cups. The idea is good but the technology and the interface makes it so tiring and difficult to find things so it adds to my stressor it doesn't because I give up. I joined some of these threads and forums because they are relevant to me. But for instance, the fact that I can't see the text you wrote that I am now replying to just makes it all too hard. It means I feel not connected to you as I write. It is so much easier on Quora. Even the texting with the therapist is difficult because the small space that one is given to write in for that makes it very difficult to see what I have written. It is tiny compared to this box.
And then the notifications have so little info that it is difficult to tell which ones need looking at responding to. And then weirdly they go when you have looked do you can't go back to them. It is rather odd and definitely unsatisfying. Again Quora does it so much better.
I got here for the therapy and got to it from the Otago Psychotherapy website and it was under phone therapy, so that is what I thought I was going to be able to get here. But it turned out just to be texting. That has been OK and I have a good therapist but the other websites offering online therapy have other options than just texting so I would used another one in preference. But just making the text box bigger would make a huge difference.
I tried at one point to connect to a listener but that was not much good because of the time zone problem. Not many listeners are operating on a NZ friendly time schedule. I don't want one now though.
I wouldnt look in on the site except for my engagement with the therapist. Real life relationships might be stressful but not as stressful as this! 😏 I have made one connection with @my twisted soul. But because of the inability to see the material I am responding to it puts up a time, energy and cognitive barrier.
The one really good thing is the resources and the path.
Now I can't remember what else you said in your text! But thank you for replying. I can't even remember what this thread started off about. That is something else Quora does better. You can go back to the whole thread and your draft comment is automatically saved and you can then come back and finish writing it. I am old and with it, vision problems. This text box isn't well laid out visually. The contrast is poor. As I said the idea is good but the interface is poor.
@indigoCup1959
Hi there, I am really sorry to hear about all the issues you face coming to this site whilst being on the phone. To be honest with you I have many problems with my phone going into the internet too because everything is so small so that's why I use my laptop. Sorry though you feel particularly challenged by the 7cups app. We do want everyone here to feel comfortable using the site either the website or the app and our team is working very hard on making improvements. Could you use a different device like a laptop where everything is bigger and also you can enlarge the page you are on? Just trying to help so please ignore if this is not an option.
If you do not like to receive so many notifications you can just unsubscribe the ones you are not interested in by removing your name from the taglist (see link in the individual threads). To find posts easier I usually "vote" them and also leave a comment like "thanks for the information" so that I can seach under "My forum threads", subscribed threads.
At the moment we have about 85 listeners in New Zealand but many more for example in Australia, would that be an option?
Below are some links I like to share with you:
App Bug Reports & Feedback https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSda32Q8-pQhRDuY- OGNI30xEnwQ92AxPmr8FFQv2PYdITpe-g/viewform
Member Suggestion Box https://help.7cups.com/hc/en-us/requests/new
If there are every any problems with the links you can always email info@7cups.com for questions regarding the site too.
Hope this helps.
