Mindfulness Daily Check-In July 27 2017

Acceptance is can you believe IS in many ways a synonym for mindfulness. When we are mindful, when we give our full attention to whatever is happening now and can do so without the usual storytelling, pushing, pulling, and judgment then we are here in acceptance.But this is not where we typically are. It is rare that we give our full attention to what is happening now. We give partial attention. The rest of our attention is somewhere else. It might be on something related to what is happening now and in that case we find ourselves pushing against and pulling away from the experience. We have opinions, judgments, and desire to make things slightly different or to have things to continue as they are.

There is a basic choice we have in every moment of our existence. I can be with whatever is happening or I can want to change it. Our felt need to change is automatic, reflexive, and, perhaps even, compulsive. It may be relentless, like a comfort seeking missile, we seek to tweak, adjust, and modify each circumstance. Or, in the rare moments when things feel perfect, we worry about losing the experience.
Acceptance is not acquiescence. We find ourselves in many situations that are not ideal. In some of these situations, there is a reasonable action that we can take to change the situation. If you are sitting in a room and it is hot, get up and open the window, if that is a feasible thing to do in that moment. There is no particular virtue to remaining hot when a simple action can change that. However, there are many situations in life where a simple action is neither feasible nor possible. You are outside waiting at a bus stop and it is hot. There is nothing that you can. You are stuck waiting. In this situation, acceptance is an option, resistance is another option.

When we resist we are complaining about the situation. I hate being hot. I wish it was winter (and when it was winter the wish was for summer). The complaint creates a boundary of tension between ourselves and the experience we are having in that moment. Dissatisfaction, anguish, even outright suffering can arise from that tension. It takes energy to maintain that tension. Our sense of me is pushing against the reality of the situation. I dont want this.

So, HOW can we gain acceptance with being mindful?

Allowing negative emotions to exist in our lives or the moment- The concept of acceptance is intended to describe the possibility of developing a different relationship to experience, one that is characterized by allowing an experience and letting it be. Allowing difficult feelings to be in awareness means registering their presence before making a choice about how to respond to them. It takes a real commitment and involves a deliberate movement of attention. Importantly, allowing is not the same as being resigned or passive or helpless.

Denying that a negative mindset is taking place- The opposite of allowing is actually quite risky. Being unwilling to experience negative thoughts, feelings, or sensations is often the first mental link that can lead to automatic and critical mind patterns. You can see this when someone says Im stupid to think like this or I should be strong enough to cope with that. By contrast shifting the basic stance toward experience from one of not wanting to one of opening, allows this chain reaction of habitual responses to be altered at the first link. Thus, I should be strong enough shifts to Ah, fear is here or Judgment is present.

Acceptance helps you work through each unpleasant experience- A fact, often people know intellectually that it might be helpful to be more loving, caring, and accepting toward themselves and what they are feeling, but have very little idea how to do it. These capacities are unlikely to be produced merely by an effort of will. Instead,they require working through the body with repeated practice over time to notice things, like anxiety, may show up as tightness in the chest, or sadness as heaviness in the shoulders.

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