Mindfulness Daily Check In June 6, 2018
(I brought back an older post that the community really liked)
How do you "mindfully" handle rejection?
Live your life for you not for anyone else. Dont let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself. ~Sonya Parker
"What did I do wrong?" or "Why don't they want to talk to me no more?" or "I'm just not worth it to anyone" I bet hearing these words make you feel you not someone good enough-right? As unpleasant as "rejection" is IT'S PART OF LIFE, and even me and mine is not exception. As time went by and I had kids and allowed myself to engage in the worls, I invited rejection into my life. A crush I had only wanted to be friends. Something I ran for in school I wasn't elected. I didn't get that promotion. Wow rejection friggin hurts!!!
If you feel comfortable you can answer these on here and share with everyone, or you can sit silently and just think on these mindfully
Discussion:
1. What does rejection look like to you?
2. When you are rejected how do you think and feel? Can you explain this?
3. Now that you shared on how you are feeling and thinking, how do you think mindfulness skills can help refocus you and give you some grounding?
4. Can you share on some skills that help you desculate the negative feelings/thoughts when you are dealing with rejection?
Some helpful mindfulness exercise:
Why We All Need To Practice Emotional First Aid-Ted Talks https://bit.ly/1vTarDo
How to Handle Rejection as a High Sensation Seeking, Highly Sensitive Person https://bit.ly/2iwiyu6
Dealing With Rejection https://bit.ly/2nO6er1
4 ways Mindfulness can help with rejection https://bit.ly/2w2rjkn
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@RumpleSteeleSkin
Hi Rumple, thanks for the post and the helpful videos, I just watched the one for hsp and could find myself totally in it.
1. What does rejection look like to you? I react on rejection mostly when people who are important to me/ people whom i trust are concerned.
2. When you are rejected how do you think and feel? Can you explain this? I start analysing what i might have done wrong and i do it in great detail. I feel abandonned.
3. Now that you shared on how you are feeling and thinking, how do you think mindfulness skills can help refocus you and give you some grounding? Mindfulness helped me a lot already, it helps/helped me from overanalysing/thinking, put's me "back on earth" by grounding, connecting to the present moment and learning acceptance.
4. Can you share on some skills that help you desculate the negative feelings/thoughts when you are dealing with rejection? I tell myself it is okay, it is okay not having what others look for (e.g. if someone is looking for a person to go out dancing and you can't or don't want they might look for s.o.else who does). I try to make it clear that it has nothing to do with my person.
@amiablePeace77
Hi there Peace good to see you today
aahhh hun yes our reactions are more when it comes from someone we know or loved. idk why that is as they are loved ones and close- but it is. Feeling abandoned really does hurt. I'm really sorry that you feel thisOh I love what you shared on what mindfulness does for you concerning rejection. Brings you back to earth/grounding. Over thinking on things is very common thing, trying to find the "why" I guess. But with mindfulness it helps us to remain in the today and check in on the facts of how we are truly feeling. Wow I want to use what you shared here. Yes it is ok- how we feel after being rejected. It is an uncomfortable feeling that will pass. And who you are and what you don't have and stuff isn't your fault. People just need to know that you are a good person just like the way you are
@RumpleSteeleSkin
thanks
@RumpleSteeleSkin Hi Rumple! How are you? I hope you are having an amazing day and week so far! 
1. What does rejection look like to you?
Hm... To me, rejection looks like being neglected or put down by the ones I love, losing a great opportunity, etc. I'm not sure really.
2. When you are rejected how do you think and feel? Can you explain this?
I feel really hopeless and negative. I have no positivity in myself, and feel that I am always doomed to failure when I am rejected.
3. Now that you shared on how you are feeling and thinking, how do you think mindfulness skills can help refocus you and give you some grounding?
Mindfulness skills can help bring me back to the present, ease my concerns, and make my feel hopeful and positive again.
4. Can you share on some skills that help you desculate the negative feelings/thoughts when you are dealing with rejection?
Studying nature or immersing myself mindfully in chores helps me de-escalate negative feelings and thoughts when I am dealing with rejection.
@SaimaK
Hiya Saima great your here todayRejection does have us feeling kinda doomed, put down by those we love, neglected. All these don't feel well and they do hurt us. aaww hun I am sorry you feel hopeless, no positivity, and doomed when you are dealing with rejection. Those are all valid feelings to have. hugs Yes mindfulness does help in making you feel hopeful/positive as well as bring you back to the present. I am very happy that this does help you. Ha you are like me. I let mindfulness play its part in being in nature and so love doing house work. idk why but it definately calms me alot. Saima you are a special wonderful person. You can do this
@RumpleSteeleSkin Thank you so much, Rumple! You are such a special and wonderful person as well, and I believe I can do this because of your encouragement and support. Rejection definitely is not the best to experience, but mindfulness is a great help! I am glad that we are alike in that manner as everyone else think I'm so odd for enjoying nature and housework so much, lol. It's so peaceful and calming. I hope you are doing well and are having a wonderful week!
@RumpleSteeleSkin thank you so much for this post!!!! @JayTheBird14 recomended this and im so glad i took a look :) Because this is something we all deal with and it can be so hard to get up from rejection but answering these questions really gave me an insigt into some good methods of coping and what rejection really is.
1. What does rejection look like to you?
To me i often associate rejection with failure. When i am rejected, the first word in my head is usually that i failed at something. That its my fault that something didnt work out, even though i know under some circumstances there are many things that are out of our control.
2. When you are rejected how do you think and feel? Can you explain this?
Rejection hurts, it hurts so badly. Especially when it comes in sucession, of feeling several rejections one after the other, it makes me feel worthless. Like i dont deserve to be happy or appreciated or valued. I think a lot of this stems from the feeling that i feel like its my fault when im rejected. That im not good enough or i dont deserve something, which is why i view it so negatively, although i know sometimes rejection can be an opportunity.
3. Now that you shared on how you are feeling and thinking, how do you think mindfulness skills can help refocus you and give you some grounding?
I think my personal reflection on rejection shows how paranoid and overthinking i can be, and because of that i think mindfulness can be a great help. I need to understand that somethings, like the past and future, are beyond my control, and i need to accept that and i cant let that scare me or think any less of myself. Somethings are out of my hands and that doesnt make me any less of a person! I need to be able to ground myself and look at the facts while judging the situation instead of immediatley associating rejection with a negative response or feeling like failure.
4. Can you share on some skills that help you desculate the negative feelings/thoughts when you are dealing with rejection?
I dont really have much skills on coping because i have not really been sucessful in that department, but for sure something that i have learned is that your perspective on things can really change how you deal with things. If you consider things to be negative then thats how you will deal with them. but if you try to see the light or the opportunity there, you may be able to build yourself back up stronger and more powerful for the next inevitable time we face rejection.
For example, around ayear ago my ex girlfriend (of 3 years) dumped me. I was crushed and thought that everything was over. But instead of simply getting depressed about it, i figured this was an opportunity to focus on me and put my efforts into improving myself, both mind and body. I worked out more and lost a lot of weight, i studied more and got better grades, i went out more and developed a lot closer relationship to my friends. The world is how you see it and trying to be positive wont make your problems dissapear, but they can definitley show you a way up if you look hard enough :)
Again thank you so much for this space to express and understand!
@specialSea87
Good to see you today SeaI am very happy to hear someone gave you this link as they thought it be good for youFailure is so connected with rejection as it makes us feel we done something or lack of something. I would like to tell you something Sea- you are special and unique just being who you are. And those that don't see this are missing out!aahhh yes rejection does really hurt-hurts alot when it happens over and over hugsI do like how you said "rejection can be an opportunity" Yes it can as it then opens our eyes more in ourselves as well as the other person. Mindfulness can help us reflect on how we are truly feeling inside, as well as if we are really over thinking on things. It helps us stay centered and focused on the facts and not letting the feelings blind us. Yes knowing and accepting that the past/future really is mostly out of our control. Somethings we do have control over but most we don't and to worry on that really is hard. oh wow I love your answer. Yes our perspective on how we look at things really makes a difference.I'd like to encourage you to keep trying new mindfulness things to help you with rejection. Try anything over and over. You can do this as you are a very unique special person
@RumpleSteeleSkin thank you for your response. I completely agree with everything you said and I cant wait to try some of the mindfulness techniques to get out of this rut of feeling of failure. I think its really nice of you to take the one to respond to me and I hope you a lot of the same hapiness you have granted me :)