The Practice of Letting Go of Emotions
Before we begin- I'd like for all of you to hug yourself, pat yourself, just put a hand on your leg and try to say this" I am a very special person, I am unique, I am me!" Give a big stretch, then get comfy and open your eyes wide and mind
Ready?
There are moments in life that are hard, painful, scary and difficult to endure. There are times when we feel anger,anxiety, grief, embarrassment, stress, remorse or other negative emotions. In these difficult times we often want to escape the pain, drown it out or push it away somehow. We may begin a mental struggle with the pain trying to mentally talk our way out of it, or we distract ourselves with activities or drown it out with food or drink or something stronger. All these ways of avoiding pain only perpetuate it in the long run. Avoidance creates suffering and keeps us from living fully this miraculous and precious life that we have.
Through mindfulness you can learn to turn your negative emotions into your greatest teachers and sources of strength.
How?!? What?!? no way!??? - I am here to share with you- YES! There are ways!!
Instead of ‘turning away from pain in avoidance we can learn to gently ‘turn towards what were experiencing. We can bring a caring open attention towards the wounded parts of ourselves and make wise choices about how to respond to ourselves and to life.
Its a paradox that we all must understand: It is by turning towards negative emotions that we find relief from them – not by turning away.
Here are a few things to try:
1. Stop, Turn Towards- Once you have become aware of the feeling, stop for a moment. Take a deep breath and then ‘sit with the anger, shame, guilt, anxiety, frustration or fear. Dont inhibit it, suppress it, ignore it or try to conquer it. Just be with it with an attitude of open curiosity and acceptance.
2. Identify The Emotion- Acknowledge that the emotion is there. If you are embarrassed, you can specifically recognise that feeling. You can mentally say to yourself, for example, I know there is embarrassment in me.
3. Acceptance Of What Is-
When you are embarrassed, or feeling another negative emotion, you dont need to deny it. Try saying I can accept that I am experiencing intense embarrassment right now. Through your mindful acceptance, you can embrace or hold the feeling in your awareness this alone can calm and soothe you. This is an act of self-compassion and responsiveness to your own distress, and it is so much more effective than punishing yourself for having this feeling. By opening and embracing the emotion, you create a mental space around it and witness it instead of being enmeshed in it. By creating this space youll discover that you are not your anger, your fear or your pain. You are much larger than that. Think of embracing your difficult emotion in your arms just like a mother holding her upset child.
Realize The Impermanence Of All Emotions- Acknowledge that all emotions are impermanent. They arise, stay for a while and then disappear. They come and go in you, like waves in the sea, cresting and receding. Your task is simply to allow this current wave to be and to witness, with patience, as it continuously changes form and eventually disappears.
We often take emotions (especially negative ones) very personally. But mindfulness invites us to view them as simply mental events passing through temporary waves in our ocean of awareness.
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@RumpleSteeleSkin Thank you for the post a friend of mine is telling me the exactly same thing about certain emotion I am struggling with at the moment and me find its not easy to sit with the emosions and deal with them, sometimes it hurts just to mutch,BUT I am slowly but surley getting there and I think that is the important think for me now the fact that I am getting there
@sweetMango91
Hiya there Mango great you are here I am glad that you are not only hearing it here AND from me But also from your friend. Sitting with certain emotions is very tough at times. I can surely connect on that. But honestly if we focus on a feeling or 2 and try these things or other things you are already doing, the intensity or mood or thoughts or uncomfiness we have does lesson. Im so glad that you are working on dealing with emotions. And yes you are getting there
@RumpleSteeleSkin
One of the most beautiful posts ever.
I struggle everyday with anger, pain , anxiety and frustration and my god it is hard to let it go sometimes. But this really helps. I never thought that accepting it and "sitting with it" would make sense but honestly is the best way to go about it.
Props to you for making this post! And thank you for it too ^^
@Booklover95
Hiya Book good to see you here Those are all very strong feelings to have as well to manage daily. You are a very strong person to try to just "sit" with whatever you are feeling. Godd job
@RumpleSteeleSkin
really great post! thank you for sharing!
i've been trying to do this a lot more and although it's hard, it's also really helped me :)
@EllieKB
HIya Ellie great to see you here Yes this can be very hard to do. But I am very proud of you for trying this out. Little steps 1 feeling/emotion at a time.
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Thanks for this reminder. I will give this a try. I have lots of emotions to use this technique on. Thanks!
I am going to try and turn my negatives into positive by trying these steps. I have tried before but felt like I was swimming against the currents of a deep sea.
If at first, I don't succeed, try try again
@scarletPear1945
HIya Pear great to see you here today First I'd like to say I really do like your attitude. We are human and have flaws, so we try over and over till we acheive what we desire. You can do this!! Remember small steps, and another small step........then another and before you know it you have acheived it
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Thank you, I love being here so much
@RumpleSteeleSkin Thank you so much for this post. I've read it several times, and I think it's really profound. I think, like with most challenges, turning toward negative emotions is easier if done in small steps while progressively working up. It takes courage, but with commitment, it can be done. What sort of progress have you made in your own life with this idea?
@Probius
HIya sweet Probius Great to see you hop byI really do agree with you on approaching challenges to not take a "big step but smaller ones. This ensures more of a positive outcome. But when we chew on more then our mouth can hold-yes we choke
Yes it takes alot of courage to try on something that will improve our life.
hmmm I have used this practice on alot of things. One is anxiety. Oh do I hate social events-lol People agitate me and make me go crazy lol But in order to combat anxiety and learn to tolerate anxiety when Im out, I have to do small steps. I have been doing small steps over a year now. And now for holidays I can handle several hours around a lot of people. I still get triggers, but they are not so intense or I don't really notice alot of anxiety.
@RumpleSteeleSkin I know what you mean, I have bad social anxiety as well. I try to pick out one person, have a conversation, and not spend too much time at the event. That way I don't get overwhelmed. That has helped me. Or, if I really don't feel like going to an event, but I want to try, I'll go for a short period and leave before I get to feeling overwhelmed.
@Probius
That is good that you too are working on the social anxiety issue. I do so believe in planning ahead as well as realistic goals/time limits and skills do help. They all to help in being more successful
Thanks for the post ^^
I do have to ask, though. Would someone be able to do this kind of thing on the go? Like, when you're out and something makes you uncomfortable/feel things and you get an intense emotion? Most of the negative emotions I feel come on very suddenly and not always with a definitive cause (or it's caused by something I can't let go of in the past). What if your emotions are tied strongly to your negative experiences? How then can one person feel and detach from the emotion when they're also thinking about how this happened the last time due to an experience (for example, feeling sad due to past social rejections that are triggered by going to a party.)? Seems nearly impossible to me, unless you just don't think about it.
I dunno I've tried this in the past, and sitting with sad, negative emotions just make me feel more sad. Maybe I'm not doing it correctly.
Also, just wanted to put a little side note that I'm not meaning to be disrespectful to any of the pro-mindfulness people here, if anyone views my response as demeaning. ^^ I'm just sharing my thoughts because this kind of thing is difficult for me.