The 5 Hidden Ingredients of Dissociation

Dissociation doesn’t happen all at once. It builds — one ingredient at a time.

There are days when we add a little too much avoidance. On others, too much people-pleasing. Eventually, the recipe no longer tastes like… us.

5-Ingredients that Bind Dissociation:

1. Artificial Sweetener (Inauthenticity) 

Inauthenticity is like using artificial sweeteners — you know it’s not really sugar, but it's convenient, lacks calories, and doesn't leave you feeling guilty afterwards. That is, when it's used responsibly to maintain a healthy diet.  

3 Simplified Ways Inauthenticity Shows Up in Day-to-Day Life:  

• Insecurity - "I cannot be trusted. I am unsafe. I am a problem."  

• Avoidance - "If I can make my external environment safe, then I'll be safe. I'm not the problem — you are."  

• Tolerance - (Masking) "I don't agree with this, but I cannot safely express myself."  (Depersonalization) "Who am I? Is this who I want to be? Why did I say/do that?"  

  
  

It's worth noting that the ego and identity are in disagreement when someone experiences inauthenticity. And, more often than not, it goes unnoticed by the person themselves. This makes it tricky to pin down and even trickier to treat.  

• Ego - "This is who I think others want me to be."  

• Identity - "This is who I really am."  

  
  

Healing inauthenticity means getting real with yourself and others. It's about speaking truthfully. In other words, the most effective counter to inauthenticity is trust. While trust doesn't come in a pretty little box labeled artificial, it certainly feels natural — authentic.

2. Empty Calories (Self-Negation)

Self-negation is like filling up on empty calories — there's no nourishment, but you feel full. On the outside, no one really sees a problem with it. On the inside, you're slowly withering away from starvation. 

3 Simplified Ways Self-Negation Shows Up in Day-to-Day Life:  

• Acceptance - "This is what I need right now to feel okay."  

• Rejection/Negation - "I don't know how to meet my needs. Others don't meet my needs."  

• Denial - "My needs aren't important." (People-pleasing, learned helplessness)

  
  

A very strange occurrence happens during self-negation. On one hand, the person accepts that their needs are unimportant or that they don't matter. And on the other hand, the person accepts that someone/something is more important than themselves.  

Healing self-negation happens through practicing self-love. Love isn't neglectful, dismissive, or empty. Love is nurturing, understanding, and filling.  

3. Canned Goods (Self-Objectification)  

Self-objectification is like canned goods: processed and neatly labeled. The contents may sustain someone, but they’re packed with preservatives and reduced versions of themselves.

3 Ways Self-Objectification Shows Up in Day-to-Day Life:  

• Manipulation - Maintaining a sense of control by shaping the way others perceive them, and in return, the individual feels a sense of belonging and closeness (false attachment). 

• A Lack of Boundaries/Limits - The individual makes themselves easily available to others. Often fearing that a lack of availability (boundaries) means losing access to someone (abandonment). 

• A Lack of Self-Respect - The individual replaces comfort (self-respect) with attention and validation (objectification), even in potentially dangerous or life-threatening situations, where harm is unavoidable. 

  
  

It's important to make the distinction between intention and consequence. Not everyone intends to cause harm to themselves or others, but through Self-Objectification there are consequences that can be devastating and deeply scarring. 

Healing Self-Objectification means learning to respect ourselves, both our comfort and our limits. When people push us to fit their ideals, we say "No, thanks." Self-Respect isn't about upholding the truth. It's about not allowing others to stack us up against their definition of self-worth.

4. Plastic Fruit (Derealization)

Derealization is like a bowl filled with glossy fruit… It looks like food. But when you reach for it, you know it’s fake. The weight, texture, and life are missing — leaving you confused and disconnected.

3 Ways Derealization Shows Up in Day-to-Day Life:

• Emptiness/Apathy - (Emptiness) "I don't feel. I can't feel. I don't know what I feel." (Apathy) "Nothing matters. I'm not motivated to work towards any goal. I don't care." 

• Cynicism - A negative response (if any) towards work, in social and personal settings. Where apathy and emptiness might make a person withdraw from their life, Cynicism is where a person focuses on the worst qualities of life. And it can also be coupled with Depersonalization. 

• Desire - The desire to feel is present and causes the individual to become distressed, leading into the use of coping mechanisms to fill the void. 

  
  

Did you know that prolonged periods of burnout and depression can cause someone to experience dissociation?

Healing Derealization requires two things: Self-Awareness and Fun. When building Self-Awareness, there's no better approach than tracking the highs and lows of the day in journal entries, periodic self check-ins, and identifying potential triggers.

As for Fun, motivation isn't the issue. Most people who feel apathetic and empty aren't opposed to having fun. They just don't see the point in trying because nothing's gonna change and they don’t want to pretend otherwise. You might hear them say, "Isn't that something happy people do?"

The key takeaway to combating derealization is self-monitoring and finding meaningful ways to fill the void.

5. Frozen Dough (Body Detachment)

Body detachment is like trying to bake frozen dough. Technically you have everything you need, but you can’t shape it. It’s stiff and not ready for use.

3 Ways Body Detachment Shows Up in Day-to-Day Life:

• Autopilot - The most common complaint I hear from individuals experiencing dissociation is that they detach from their bodies during important events. Like when they’re at work and they’re required to perform repetitive tasks. They essentially zone out. 

• Imaginative Absorption - Trouble distinguishing between fantasy and reality. It’s like you can see things for the way they are through one eye, and through the other is someplace different. You’re left confused and wondering what’s actually real. 

• Catatonia - An inability to move, speak, or respond. 

  
  

Healing Body Detachment means slowly bringing yourself back to temperature.

Just like frozen dough needs time to thaw before it can rise and take shape, your consciousness needs time to get back into your body. Through grounding exercises, sensory engagement, movement, and body-based therapies, we knead our consciousness back in.

Disclaimer: This article reflects my personal research, experiences, and understanding of dissociation through metaphor and analogy. It is not intended as medical or psychological advice. For diagnosis or treatment, please consult with a licensed professional.