Lil intro and what I'm going through
Hi everyone. I’m 17 and I have less than two months left before my board exams. I’ve been struggling a lot with studyingnot because I’m terrified of failing, but because I feel so overwhelmed that sometimes I just cannot make myself start.
What makes it worse is hearing people say things like, “I’ve already done two revisions and I’m still scared.” Meanwhile, I haven’t even properly started yet, and it makes me panic about whether I’ll even be able to complete my syllabus and do well. I know comparing myself to other people doesn’t help, but it still gets to me.
I also hate how much everything around me seems to revolve around percentages 95%, 96%, grades, ranks, etc. Sometimes it feels like people have tied marks to your worth as a person. I want to do well. I want to complete my syllabus understand what I’m studying and go into the exams without completely panicking. But I don’t want my entire life to become about chasing a number.
I don’t really need advice because, honestly, I know this situation will pass. I think what I struggle with is living in the present while I’m in it. Sometimes I just wish I could sleep and wake up two or three months later when everything is over.
I’ve also struggled with my mental health and have had periods where staying alive itself felt incredibly difficult. I’ve hurt myself in the past, and I haven’t been able to access therapy because of my family situation.
Sometimes I wish I just had someone who could remind me that yes maybe I made mistakes. Maybe I should have started studying earlier. But that doesn’t mean I’m a loser and I don’t need to spend the present punishing myself for the past. I can still keep going. I can still be confident. I can still laugh, pray, work out, spend time with people, learn things, and actually live these two months.
Even if I work hard and my final score isn’t what I hoped for, and people talk about it or I feel disappointed, I want to remember that I kept going with my life. I don’t want to put my life on hold just because exams are happening. I want to care about my marks without letting them decide my worth.
@independentBanana712 I will keep this short and will share from my life experience. All of your feeling are completely valid and true. Just remember than you can never please everyone. People will have their expectations about what they want from you, be it the marks or what you study, etc etc. and no matter how much you do, they will have complains.
Just be bothered about your expectations from yourself and do your best to achieve them. That should be your goal that you will do your best for the "expectations/ goals you have for yourself"
Marks for sure do not determine your worth. But, they do help advance your education/ career and it helps to see that for what it is. Sure, spend time with friends etc etc. But, given your exams are just 2 months away, it would probably help you to give your 100% to preparing for it. There is a time for everything and everything at its time. I wish you the best
TYSM for this! needed to hear thiss.
@independentBanana712
It sounds like you already possess a deep level of self-awareness and wisdom, even through the weight of everything you are carrying right now.
You made a mistake by not starting earlier, but a delayed start is just a timeline, not a character flaw. Struggling to begin when you are overwhelmed is a natural human response to stress, not proof that you are lazy or a loser. You do not owe anyone a penalty of self-punishment or constant misery to prove that you care about your future.
You are entirely right: your worth as a person is not a percentage, a rank, or a grade on a piece of paper. The culture around board exams often treats students like numbers in a system, but that is a reflection of the system's limitations, not your value. The marks you get will open or close specific doors, but they will never define who you are, how smart you are, or what kind of life you are capable of building.
You do not have to freeze your life for the next two months. You can take a deep breath, break your syllabus down into small, manageable pieces today, and do what you can, step by step. You can study hard for a few hours, and then you can still step away to laugh, pray, move your body, and exist as a whole human being.
Progress today counts, no matter how small. Forgive yourself for the time that has passed, release the comparison to where others are in their revision, and focus only on the next small task in front of you. You are going to get through these two months, and there is a full, meaningful life waiting for you on the other side.
Sending my best wishes to you. Take care of yourself✨️🤍
Ohhh! Idk why I'm crying TYSM😭💗
@independentBanana712
Your welcome. Its okay to cry. Leave it out✨️🤍🫂
@independentBanana712
TYSM 😭🫶
TYSM 😭🫶
@independentBanana712
Hehe your welcome. ✨️🤍