i need some help
tw: sex
need help cutting off my "friend". hes lied, hes emotionally munipulated me and others, and sexualized like 3 of my other friends. i dont really know why were still friends. i know i mean alot to him. i know that very well. im afriad hes gonna do something to himself, which is why im so stuck on what to do. I dont need people like this in my life. im getting distracted. too distracted to do my work, to distracted to focus. why cant i focus? focus. the damned word is always stuck on my mind. they say focus, but is it really that easy? i dont know what to even do anymore dude. im getting tired of dealing with his bull. tired of dealing with the lies, tired of him playing the victim all the time, im tired of being the glue in this one-sided friend ship. i dont really know how much longer i can deal with him. he thinks we can just shove all the stuff he did under the rug, but you cant do that forever can you? because eventually it gets to the point where its towering over you, before you realize it its fallen over on you. no, not on him, on you. because he thinks its funny. anywho, i need some advice on how to cut him off.
also my actual bestfriend wants to cut him off too.
@doomsdaysouffle
When you are dealing with a person like this ending it is better if done fats and clear. You know your reasons it is not a debate... you do not want a friend who is not a friend holding up their portion of a friendship/ bad behavior and lies etc.
People IMO try to always be so nice and let people down easy but in fact that is not helping them but enabling them even if you manage to get rid of him he will do the same stuff to the next person .....
Tell the truth let him know you are done with sweeping things under the rug and the lies etc. wish him well and hope he can mature enough to see he has issues he should deal with.
The idea he may hurt himself is often used by this type of person to try to guilt you into staying friends or forgiving their obnoxious behavior ...... being completely upfront that this will no longer work ... and really hope they get the help they need.
Do not bargain like IF you do this or that we can be friends again etc .... make it a clean cut.
@doomsdaysouffle i forgot to update lmao.
so, i cut him off on friday, and it actually went better than i expected. now the main problem is getting my other friend out of this situation. he's wayyyy too nice to tell him how he feels. but all is mostly well.
@doomsdaysouffle
I just read your story. Very happy that worked out for you!
@soyisa thanks! it was a little hard doing it considering i knew him for 9 yrs but it had to be done
@doomsdaysouffle Block him off on all sites and report him to the police if it goes out of hand
@doomsdaysouffle guys i have another update again this is sm fun.
so my best friend, (well call him father mop lol) told me at lunch that my ex friend said that the reason he pulled all that bs, was because he was dared to by one of his online friends. i know theres a very very very very very small chance thats true. bc at this point mostly everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie. im not as naive as i was last year. theres no way i will believe that. ive given him multiple chances to not lie to me. to not be emotionally munipulative. he messed up his chances. the thing is, a few years ago, he wasnt like this. he was the kindest, most trustworthy and funny person i knew. but in janurary something changed. its like he just became a completely different person. yea, im crying writing this. i just want my old bestie pop back man. i just wanted a little more time before all this happened. what happened though? where is my old best friend?
@doomsdaysouffle
I have had a similar situation happen to me. I just want to let you know that you're not alone. Everyone misses their old friendships but sometimes you have to realize people change. Sometimes they might change in a good way or a not so good way. I know it's going to be hard at first to accept the change but trust me cutting the negativity in your life helps you grow into the best individual you can be. You don't have to take my advice but if you do, I just want to let you know that there are going to be many people who you will meet in your life. Don't get stuck on a person who you think will go back to being the same person earlier in your friendship. The more you hang on the more you'll get hurt. Find new people that make you happy that don't make you feel bad. If you have to rethink a friendship, then that friendship might not be one you should stick with. I'm not saying you should avoid or completely ignore that person, just get some space and maybe focus on yourself and other friendships. I hope this helps!
@soyisa it rly does help. thanks alot man 👍
guess who has another update lmao this never ends
so in my last post i said that he said he was lying about someone daring him to do it. and guess what. he lied again. he said he did it to get 20$ from them for a game. so in his head, a 9 yr friendship was worth less than a 20. dollar. video. game. im actually so mad. its been a few weeks since my friend told me what he said. like 3 or 4. ive been so mad since then, and its not like it stops. i wake up? angry. i go to school? angry. sit in a class with him terrorizing my friend? im irate. ive been trying to not be as angry but its literally not working and i just want to cut him out of my life forever. but i know thats not possible. i just have to deal with it until the end of the year. then i can get revenge. it may not be substantial, but it will suffice. as long as he is even slightly annoyed or even mildly inconvenienced, im elated. i know this isnt healthy, but for right now i dont care. i just want him to hurt like i did. and what makes it worse? hes been trying to become friends with me again. talking to me, making jokes, trying to get me to play games with him. yeah, it would be nice to have my old bestfriend back, but hes gone. and i know hes not gonna change. toxic people never change. anyways, we went somewhere as a fieldtrip on thursday for band. we tried to keep my friend away from him, and it kind of worked. only towards the end he tried to take my friend away but i annoyed him as much as i possibly could. i want to make his life a living h e l l really bad but id rather be a little better than that and just be annoying.
theres alot more i think but thats all that comes to mind. the stuff in the beginning happened a couple weeks ago and i just forgot to post or didnt need to lmao. sorry for the rant