Lyric Vent | "Toothache" - James Marriott

Song Reflection: “Toothache” by James Marriott

“Walk me back to your house, watch me rot in his place / With your hand in my pocket and your eyes on my face”

This opening hits like a punch to the gut. It reminds me of all the times I was second choice—kept around, but never really chosen. I’ve been in relationships where I felt like a placeholder, like someone they kept close just to fill the silence until someone “better” came along. And I stayed. I let myself rot in their shadow because I thought maybe, just maybe, they’d see me.

“Got this toothache / That won’t heal but won’t break / And it hurts, but I can never get enough of.”

That’s exactly what those relationships felt like. A dull, constant ache. Not enough to kill me, but enough to keep me hurting. And somehow, I kept going back. I kept craving the same pain because it was familiar. Because I thought it was love. But it wasn’t. It was just the echo of someone else’s damage bouncing off my heart.

“Put me down in your chair / I’ll watch you place your constraints / When I start leaning back / I’ll care to stomach the pain.”

I remember how they’d set the rules—how I had to shrink, behave, be quiet, be easy. And I did it. I let them control the narrative. I let them decide how much of me was acceptable. I swallowed the pain because I thought that’s what love was supposed to feel like.

“She calls sometimes when she needs someone / And she’s got no one to pick up the phone."

This part makes me think of how they only came back when they were lonely. When they needed comfort. When they needed me to be the soft place to land—but never the person they stayed for. I was the emergency contact, not the home.

“It feels so wrong when I play along / But I pray the line will break”.

I’ve played along too. Pretended it didn’t hurt. Pretended I was okay with being used. But deep down, I was always hoping they’d stop calling. That I’d finally be free. That I’d stop answering.

“She cries her heart out…”

That’s what it’s like—loving someone who only loves you when it’s convenient. It leaves you aching. It leaves you hollow. And even when they’re gone, the pain lingers like a toothache. But I’m learning that I don’t have to keep hurting just because I’m used to it. I deserve more than this.

I deserve love that doesn’t rot me from the inside out.