Genuine worries
Back as a new teen, I had weird sexual desires. Like watching different types of stuff.. usually normal stuff, but one time I did so watching a true crime based on movie, which included SA. What was wrong with me back then? No, I do not have such bad thoughts about that in real life, I wish no one that and I don't like what happend to the victim. I don't understand why I did it back then.
@huiny254
You are not a bad person.
You need to forgive yourself and move forward.
Sometimes when we start to watch things and haven't much experience, we go down the rabbit hole of watching the wrong things, which are sadly never reflective of true intimacy or relationships.
The movies about that case are haunting me even tho during that moment I wasn't thinking of the actual case. I feel like a criminal even if I know I never suported such behaviour.