Intrusive Thoughts.
I'm not diganosed wirh anything but apparently I have OCD symptoms according to Google it started a month ago I was playing a game with my best friend and it was a new game we were playing and I loved it and all of a sudden I got butterflies in my stomach and I looked up why and it said love but yk ofc my brain is gonna the other option which is excitement instead I focus on the love part and I start getting thoughts that I might be gay for that happening and it was a horrible for the first week I thought about it multiple times a day and was very stressed! After about 2 weeks though and research I figured out how to control it and I was fine UNTIL about 2 weeks after that I started getting worried about random things one was the fear of having OCD and matching with the symptoms and it messing up my life another one was paying more attention to my blinking and hearing the normal and other smaller and more manageable thoughts like what if I was a serial killer? What if I was a pedophile what if I was gay? And etc. And I have been struggling with the what if I was gay again because I asked a dude for help and our stories sounded similar and he came out as gay the thing is my mind started thinking what if I was gay just in denial or if we were the same and I was gonna turn out gay! Also the fear of having ocd I had which I was just terrified of having it and it messing up my life and I have been paying more attention to my blinking and hearing! I also started like making sure I liked shorts to make sure I can view them at any time in case I forget which is annoying and makes me avoid *** and I don't know what has been happening I was a always happy person and never had any mental health issues now my life is miserable when these thoughts pop up and I don't want to tell my mom yet about it so if you guys please could give me some tips or some good therapy apps it would be much appreciated!
I also don't have anything wrong with Gay people I'm just saying for me I don't want that for my self and the fact like I was being forced was VERY distressing
@fearlessGrapes2866Hi, I'm glad to be of some help to you. I think first of all you should not check online and diagnose yourself. I think many diagnoses on the Internet are inaccurate. After all, everyone is an independent individual. Let me tell you something funny: I had bleeding gums when I brushed my teeth a few mornings ago. I searched online and Google said I had cancer. . . So I still recommend you to seek professional consultation. And I'm pretty sure you don't have the tendency to hurt others, so it doesn't matter. This tendency usually shows up in childhood. So I don’t think you need to feel anxious because of your own orientation. What matters is not the gender, but the gender of the person you like. It depends on how you feel.
Thank you so much! That helped a lot ad yeah I probably shouldn't diagnose myself😂
Hello, I just wanted to reply to this by saying that I have a similar situation like you. It’s actually stemmed all the way to childhood, if I could remember. I remember watching one of those “unsolved mystery” type of shows and was freaked out by it and thought what if I could grow up to be a bad person? Of course when I told my mom and grandma they comforted me and told me something like that was not possible, because I am not dangerous, I do not have a mind like sick and twisted killers/criminals we hear about all the time. (Which, was comforting to a degree but still was scary!)
But over my life time, I’ve realized that I’ve had these OCD intrusive thoughts that I would obsess over that would spiral me into feeling very stressed and irritable. They don’t happen very often to me, but when they do, I feel very out of touch with reality or that I start to question my identity and who I am as a person. I also have not been diagnosed at all, but I have done reading myself and feel that a lot of what I have experience aligns with OCD thoughts/obsessions, even false memory OCD, and it can feel very scary that maybe you’re just going crazy or that you’re the only one experiencing these things.
Currently, I’m going through a little “episode” and it’s been hard to get through it. I’ve read that there is even a thing called OCD guilt (which I’ve been feeling lately) so while it’s kind of comforting to know that there’s even a term to go with what I’m feeling, it still sucks to feel it and go through the motions. Especially when the thoughts, obsessions and guilt can be very anxiety inducing to the point of feeling sick, (at least for me) that I find myself trying to distract myself in anyway I can. (Listening to music, writing, rewatching anime, scrolling thru ***, anything really)
I do agree that a lot of these intrusive thoughts that may be considered “taboo” or thoughts that are the opposite of your moral compass (ie thinking that you could be a killer) would be something that shows up in childhood. There would be clear signs shown early on versus later in life. (Again, a child hurting animals or other kids and having no remorse can lead to a dangerous adult)
The hard part is trying to overcome the thoughts. I’ve seen suggestions of accepting the thoughts as they are: only thoughts. Just because they’re thoughts doesn’t make them true. Talking about them out loud is another suggestion. Having a good support system like friends and family. Or visualizing putting the thoughts “on a shelf” so you can resume your daily life routine.
But overall, it never hurts to actually seek out psychological help from licensed therapists. (I should learn to take my own advice lol) but I definitely would like to go into therapy sometime this year, but anyways!!
I hope this was kind of helpful for you!
I’m available to talk if you need to