Why do I have intrusive thoughts with practices
At the age of five I witnessed a babysitter's husband trapping my mom and chasing her around her car and I've been practicing blocking doors since junior high and it's involved into skipping around my vehicle once in a while or skipping around my dining room table
I learned very well from my hero and role model how to block doors it was the babysitter's husband
I am good at blocking doors and skipping around vehicles especially in women's clothing
I learned at a young age how to block doors and skip around the cars after watching my hero and role model as he was protecting me and my brother from being kidnapped from his house
So my mom was young and naive when she was going through divorce on the day that she was trapped She showed up to the babysitter's house and my brother and me were playing in one corner of the driveway with the babysitters husbands children and a babysitter's children after that the babysitter's husband and the babysitter told my mom she was either too late for too early after their little argument the babysitter and her husband took their kids and took my brother inside the house and then my mom decided to get me into her car and drive me around the corner and asked a four or five-year-old if she should go back into the house I found out later in life after my mom and dad got a divorce that she used to lock me in my room during the daytime because she couldn't handle my crying I'm glad she was trapped like she was I hate to have bitterness toward her but I do
So I have two sides to me I have the Jason / Jennifer side The Jason side is barbaric The Jennifer side is the peaceful side the daughter that mom always wanted The Jason side would do everything like the babysitter's husband did suddenly and against mom's will The Jennifer side wants to confront mom during a therapist office session peacefully and then have a mother and daughter day because Mom always wanted a daughter The mother and daughter day would consist of going to a park and skipping around mother's car and there is a skip agreement written up for us to sign in the office before we leave the office
On days like today I could stand against my front door and sometimes it feels enjoyable when I feel like I am the babysitter's husband who was my hero and role model
On days like today I could stand against my front door and sometimes it feels enjoyable when I feel like I am the babysitter's husband who was my hero and role model
I'm a good skipper and I'm a good door blocker I learned well by the babysitter's husband
Going to start seeing a third therapist
Dinky dinky doubt it out
