Anyone recovered from Relationship OCD?
I think I have ROCD. I've been struggling with intrusive thoughts for almost a year now and I feel my relationship is going down the drain. I really hate myself for this. I keep getting feelings of resentment towards my boyfriend for no reason what so ever. I get panick attacks, guilt over the mean thoughts I'm thinking and I can't stand it all falling to pieces. I'm ruining him and he's amazing. He has been nothing but amazing to me. Patient and everything. Sometimes, when I'm in a good place I feel love again and I'm so happy when I do. So over the moon when i feel like we are one again. But the past few days have been hell again. I don't understand why. I hate myself for doing this. I don't want to be in a relationship whilest feeling like this but I can't stand the thought of losing him. Of not being with him, I can't imagine that. I can't imagine that there would be anyone better than him. I just wish I could stop thinking that he hates me for this, I wish I could stop thinking he isn't that attractive or we aren't compatible or ... He makes me laugh and makes me feel safe when I have a good day. When i'm strong and can hold back the thoughts I LOVE being with him. But I keep thinking he critizes me and therefore I critize him and interpret everything he says the wrong way. How do I stop this. I feel so hopeless.
Hi Polly. I?m sorry you?re dealing with these obsessive and intrusive thoughts. Feeling out of control and unsure of your thoughts must be very frustrating. It?s unfortunate that with OCD, ?checking? your feelings/emotions/responses makes them worse, but you have a strong compulsion to do it. It takes learning new skills to beat it but it is definitely more than possible. I had a different type of ?pure-O? OCD and I recovered, as do many, many others. Learning not to overanalyze your intrusive thoughts takes practice, but it is achievable.
You seem to be burdened with a lot of guilt for feeling this way, but it is not your fault. This is a legitimate mental health concern and you are not a bad person for having these intrusive thoughts.
I?m not a licensed therapist and can?t give you specific advice but you can read anywhere that CBT is the gold standard for this issue. If you can?t see a professional I would recommend searching online for CBT resources (on reputable sites of course). 7Cups' Anxiety and Panic Attacks guides are very much worth doing if you haven't done them already. And of course you can come on here and talk. :)
I wish you the best of luck in your journey. If you want to talk, send me a message and I will get back to you as soon as I can, though I am going offline now. Take care.