Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Do I tell people about my thoughts?

User Profile: theletterem
theletterem July 26th, 2017

My OCD finds parts of my personality to analyze&misinterpret. What I mean is it finds something harmless and makes me start obsessing that it's actually weird, disgusting, perverted, etc. And it's over such stupid things. Like, as an example, I read fanfics. Some of the fanfics I like involve character a being sick and character b taking care of them. I like those because they're cute, usually don't involve sex (I avoid reading sexual fanfics), and I like reading about character b loving on and taking care of character a. But my brain picks it apart and tricks me into freaking out that it's actually something disgusting. I went through this huge thought spiral that maybe I liked those fics because I had some weird sexual thing regarding them, and then I started freaking out that I was going to grow up and have munchausen syndrome and abuse people. The thought spiral was ridiculous; I knew that logically. But I couldn't stop it. And talking about it - telling a person to prove to myself that my thoughts arent disgusting - would probably have helped. But when I get into spirals, my brain WILL NOT let me tell someone because I'm convinced that I'm disgusting and everyone would hate me if they knew how gross I was. Normally I can't even write the thoughts, so I guess this is progress. Does anyone have the same problem where their brain misinterprets innocent stuff as "bad"? Any tips for dealing? Just wanna know I'm not alone and gross.

6