How does your OCD affect your life? Please share..

I hope someone can give me some ideas... There is a UK series where OCD people help people who hoard etc. I need to become more like an OCD person, so I can deal with my husband's issues.

Situation that just happened... He got a new phone and told me to set it up. I did and wrote the passwords on the inside of the box. Have done this for years now and has been a great system for me to use on my family's phones, since we don't throw the box away till we get rid of the phone. So, he calls me and says he needs the password for his phone. Told him it's inside the box. He says he erased it and now needs it. I told him I didn't remember & he got angry with me for not knowing it.

Before you say it is his fault, I know this, but anytime he messes up I am in trouble.

He gets angry at me for most things & it's my fault for not maintaining absolute control over everything. Power bank for his phone is missing and it's my fault; never mind he took it out of the house yesterday when he went to do things. I tell him it isn't right he gets angry at me for things that are not in my control...he pretends he never got angry at all. Gaslights me.

Leaving isn't an option, so I'm turning this into a military game to win. Having been in the military I am turning to folks that are battling with a condition that could help me learn how to be hyper-vigalent at controling things around me and keep my a** out of trouble. I'm 51, 2 adult daughters and work from home.

Hope someone can help me.

I keep my OCD pretty well in check when it stressed, but lately a new develoent is creeping me the heck out. I keep having really horrid and disturbing repeating thoughts about harm from a specific object. Rather common, it's hard to avoid but it's escalating to the point where I can't see it without wincing. Any idea if this related to my OCD? Have I decided this behavior afterearning how to cope with the more traditional checks that I do? Any insight into the right direction for help is greatly appreciated.

Well I have this weird thing for the number 4 so I have to set my lock at school to four when I get. Tgeee in the morning and take a picture so I don't come check it in class and I take another picture when I leave school so I can consult it through the night. Like I will constantly look t the picture to make sure it's on 4. And if I say something stupid or something I have to take something 4 times. I also have a weird colour coding thing where I have to colour code my notes otherwise the teacher won't be able to understand them. And there's this thing with walking where when I walk behind someone I have to walk in their exact footsteps but with the opposite foot. This affects me a lot in school cause I'm always late for classes because on the stairs, there are so many people all on different feet and I cant walk in the opposite foot for all of them so I have to wait until there's only like one person on the stairs.

While I don't have severe OCD, it's very mild for me, I have an obsession with the number 7. I consider it my safe number. I'll wash my hands under super hot water seven times, seven different ways and I'll be counting to seven every time I was the soap off (I need 7 pumps), or else I feel like I'm going to get sick, or get someone else sick. And I won't even touch anything and I'll feel it on my skin that I need to wash my hands and stuff, it's gotten to the point where I've used bleach to wash my hands actually. I also have a thing with having my room in order, but due to my disabilities it's super hard to actually keep it the way (my brain wants me to clean at least 7 times a day, but I can't) I want so I live my life in a constant anxiety attack. It's horrible. I wouldn't wish this upon anyone.

My OCD undulates and on some days you wouldn't even think I had it, but on others it's a continual hinderance. Most people's OCD's (from my experience) can be viewed in physical actions or tics, like an aversion to germs or flipping a light switch a specific number of times. Mine is mostly in my head and while I obssess on some things, others don't bother me at all.

My jobs requires a lot of math and using a 9-key calculator. I have to check and recheck my numbers and say them, sometimes outloud, because I worry that the 7 I punched may not be the 7 I am saying. Some days I get so stuck in repeating I have to take a break. On the really bad days I am unable to recognize that the total on the screen matches what is on my paper.

I will turn around and check locks, stove knobs, fridge doors, faucets, laundry vents, ashtrays for still possibly lit smokes. If it could lead to a breakin, flood or fire I will check it - a lot. Not because I need to check it a certain number of times but because I honestly don't remember locking that door 45 seconds ago, and instead of reassuring me my brains goes "Are you sure?".

I will touch things to move them 'just so' when I am feeling anxious, it soothes me.

I have a routine when I get home and on the weekends of cleaning in a certain order in a certain way and if I am interrupted, even by a surprise date night, it irritates me - leaves me feeling incomplete and at unease to not be able to do them. I am working on that.

I play with tape constantly while at work. It used to be cuticle picking or lip picking but after a bunch of really nasty infections and loosing a few nails I found that rolling a piece of tape between my thumb and forefinger helps a lot with that nervous energy. I usually have a piece stuck to my pants just in case.

I respond with angry panic when my things are moved, even when it is a good idea or is just for cleaning. I want to be the one to touch them, to reposition them. I can immediately notice when something has shifted position.

On the flip side, germs don't bother me and I generally don't feel the urge to repeat myself or repeat an action a certain number of times.

However, at any given point in time I have at least 3 todo lists in various places and at least one digital copy on my phone. Everything from Shower to Get Groceries to Take Out Trash. I don't need them to remember everything but I worry I will forget important things if I don't write it down - and I have.

I hope this helps for some insight.

It ruins my relationships because I can not control it. :/

@FlowerInDisguise19

My ocd is breaking me down slowly and feels like its completely taken over my personality. I have horrible intrusive thoughts that never stop, and once i think one is gone, a new, worse one begins. i dont understand why this is happening to me, and i cant tell people about because they'll tell me i'm crazy or think that the thoughts are a part of who i am. I can't sleep sometimes because i'm petrified that I'll dream about the things im most scared of, so i stay up and walk back and forth until i collapse on my bed. Similarly, i find myself painting my nails, peeling the polish off and then painting them again at least four or five times a day. i feel like im dying constantly, and my biggest fear is that i'll act on my thoughts and lose myself completely. Im so sorry that this was long but it feels amazing to say all of this.

@FlowerInDisguise19

My ocd is breaking me down slowly and feels like its completely taken over my personality. I have horrible intrusive thoughts that never stop, and once i think one is gone, a new, worse one begins. i dont understand why this is happening to me, and i cant tell people about because they'll tell me i'm crazy or think that the thoughts are a part of who i am. I can't sleep sometimes because i'm petrified that I'll dream about the things im most scared of, so i stay up and walk back and forth until i collapse on my bed. Similarly, i find myself painting my nails, peeling the polish off and then painting them again at least four or five times a day. i feel like im dying constantly, and my biggest fear is that i'll act on my thoughts and lose myself completely. Im so sorry that this was long but it feels amazing to say all of this.

I Cant eat any other way than the order i deem correct or else i get so anxious that maybe something will happen inside my digestive tract that shouldnt happen, that i feel physically sick, i walk one foot directly in front of the other because i have the fear that i will fall over, or something will happen because i didnt walk in a straight line, so i get very sore hips, and my connective tissue disorder doesnt help. I wash my hands a fair bit because i feel like i will make myself or someone else seriously sick if i dont. i pick up any sharp objects, metal objects, and keep them just in case someone stands on them or i need them one day, i have a box dedicated to these because i dont want anyone to get hurt because of my stupidity in leaving it there. every time someone touches my hair i have to wash it because i fear that their hand germs have contaminated me and i will be sick because of it. i have many compulsions, and am getting treatment for it now, but those are just some and it affects me a lot because i dont get much time to myself, and am often tired

For me everything has to go as planned to the T, everything has to be sorted just right, done in a certain order qt a certain time or it doesn't get done at all. Lately at work which used to have a set schedule, ever since a few coworkers quite my schedule has changed daily and I'm not coping well, just the thought of going into work not knowing where I'm going to be what I'm doing makes me axious enougb to consider calling out of work completely. I manage to force myself to go to work but then I'm on a simmer with the axiety and then I'm straightening everything in the classroom I'm currently assisting in to tye exclusion of everything else and it's either that or curling into a ball and screaminv for everyone to shut up/crying which is not professional either.

But 2 weeks of this I'm on hair trigger at home too, I accidentally scheduled grocery shopping at dinner with mom at the same time and I had a panic attack over it, I accidentally locked myself out of my apartment I didn't know what to do so I sat outside on the patio for 4hrs and when my roomate came home she said she left a note in the kitchen window that she left me note saying to puck up my keys from the front office. I asked why didn't she leave a note on the front door or patio door, she said because we didn't have tape. I spent 20mins looking for the tape when I found it I wanted it under the sink but it wasn't organized so she wouldn't be able to find the tape unless it was, so I spent the next 30mins