My brother is sick and I'm full on panicking
For my entire life, my brother getting sick has been a HUGE OCD/anxiety trigger. I get scared I'll get sick, and I start feeling like if he's sick my parents will abandon me and only care about him. Which is very irrational, but...it's just the way it is.
I'm on meds and my OCD is a lot better, but was one of my first obsessions and has stuck with me literally since I was probably about three years old. I've been sick for two weeks with a really sucky head cold, which I figured he was getting last night when he said he didn't feel great. Which still freaked me out because apparently I have abandonment issues, but...it wasn't as bad. Today he woke up with a fever of 103, so now I'm panicking. I start school again today and I have a job, and I'm terrified it's the flu and I'll get sick and have to miss those things. Also freaked out my parents will abandon me (it doesn't help that my mom is at a new job today and I can't really talk to her because of that), and also scared my brother (or I if I get sick) will vomit (I have emetophobia). ALSO I just feel like a crappy person for not being reasonably concerned about him and instead just panicking to the point where I either lay frozen with fear or feel like I have to run away to escape the situation. (also I have no local friends, so I can't go to anyone's house to get away.)
Basically I'm just a mess right now and don't know what to do.
@theletterem It does sound like you are having a very difficult time right now! Do you have any coping skills to help with the immediate feelings of anxiety? I'm glad you are here and willing to open up to others about how you feel and your fears. I know that has to be hard. OCD is very difficult to cope with on a daily basis. Add to this one of your big fears "coming true" and it can be paralyzing. Learning skills specific to OCD and anxiety will help a great deal with this. Being able to talk through things and learn how to challenge the obsessive thoughts and fears will also help a great deal. I wish you well with this issue and hope that you find the support you need. :)
