Obsessive love
I have this friend who I clearly have feelings for, but they aren't reciprocated. We are still friends regardless, but I have major jealousy when she sleeps with people, I had a bad reaction when she got a new boyfriend, I obsessively think about her, check when she's online and I don't really want to talk to other people. While these are obviously obsessions, I think it's distinct from obsessive love disorder, where the person obsessing is literally controlling and/or possessive. I know she's a separate person, I wouldn't try to control her and I would never turn violent, I actually really want to be there for her...
I just hate being such a problem and having these obsessions. I wish I didn't have them. But I'm afraid of losing our friendship due to my obsessions, like in order to overcome the obsessions or if I push her over the edge with them (I might have some rOCD here too, even though we're not in a romantic relationship). I just really don't want to lose her.
I used to go through a problem like this when I was younger and I still sort of struggle with it but I'm proud that I'm aware there is a problem and that problem was rooted in deep insecurity and feeling that I wasn't good enough, I'm not saying that you are feeling this way but I'm proud of you for being aware of an obsession. Obsession isn't love and it is important to understand that and I think you are understanding that.
@Shyness98 How did you overcome it? I'm pretty young, I'm 20. And I'm not 100 percent sure how I feel. I think with obsessions, and getting lost in obsessive/intrusive thoughts it can make it seriously difficult to know what we really want. I know for a fact that I had a crush on her in the past, so it's not like these feelings come from nowhere.
@toughPear4784 I still struggle a bit but what really helped me was getting a therapist and diving into mindfulness such as meditation, and just reminding myself that I am not those thoughts. I've been working on my confidence and self-esteem. Lately, I've been trying to focus on my own interests. It's hard and difficult but it's worth it to just live my own life again.
@toughPear4784 take her off that pedestal you have her on. Give your self time away. Go no contact for awhile and focus on other things.
Having someone obsessed with you is the creepiest thing ever. Do you think if she got. Married to her boyfriend you would get over it and move on?
I'm not trying to be rude.
@HappyKerfufflez One of the many thoughts that have come to me was the thought of her getting married, and I'm sure I'd be devastated. 
There doesn't seem to be great or consistent information on obsessive love disorder online, one site said to end all contact with the person you're obsessing over, seemingly indefinitely, and that caused me immense distress. I can see temporarily taking time off from that person and reducing checking and everything, but how does that prevent you from obsessing over someone new?
@toughPear4784
what is it about her that sets her apart from others?
Have you thought about giving it a month of no contact to see if maybe your feelings for her would subside?
Have you had a one on one conversation with her about your feelings?
@toughPear4784
why do you feel the need to obsess over her or any other woman for that matter?
Study up on obsession and take love out of it.
Love is not obsessive. Lust is.
@toughPear4784 ending all contact would be for your benefit.
I have the same problem, I cant seem to think about my roommates ex! Its been so annoying think about it and Im trying to ask myself that its wasting my time and I have better stuff in worried about. Yeah I have tried everything like walking, listening to music, watching YouTube videos etc to distracted myself. During quarantine I was doing well, prior to the stay at home orders, I wasnt thinking about it since I got busy with work and other things but now since its been three months it just got worse. I don't want to have these "thoughts" because it's wasting my time and energy to think about it someone that I don't want to pursue.