What if my diagnosis changes?
I was diagnosed with OCD and social anxiety a few months ago (although I've had symptoms of OCD since I was four)...But I saw a new therapist today and she started talking about different traumas I've been through and how maybe there's other stuff going on. I don't think I have PTSD but I don't really know; I'm just super confused right now. I feel like my diagnosis of OCD/social anxiety fits my symptoms pretty well...But at the same time, I keep obsessing over whether or not I have other issues, too. And I'm going to take some kind of test that assesses whether or not I have symptoms of other disorders, and I'm just...I don't know. I guess I got used to having OCD and so now I'm anxious about what if I don't actually have OCD or what if I get an additional diagnosis or whatever. I don't know if any of that makes sense...My brain is basically a mess and I want to figure it out, and I know seeing if I have any other issues is a good idea...But I'm also nervous and uncomfortable and I'm not really sure how to explain it. Does anyone understand this or have any encouragement? I just want to get better but this is scary and I'm tired.
I understand that all those possible diagnoses are confusing. I had one that I identified very much with, I connected with others in the "community", got validation and advice there. And then a psychologist came and told me that I didn't belong there. That it was more complicated than that. And less certain. Yeah, I didn't like it... It may not make complete logical sense, but it's kind of important to me, too. Having a name I can put on it, identifying what's going on with me... Belonging somewhere. Also, I don't know, I guess I can't really trust that I'll be able to fix things if I can't even be sure how they are broken?
But hey. Did anyone doubt your OCD? From what you write here, chances are you'll get to keep it and "only" get some bonus diagnosis or five in addition ;) And that can feel overwhelming at first. But I'm pretty sure you'll manage to deal with that, too. Good luck to you.
@hereigoagain Yessss that's exactly how I feel! It's not that I like my OCD, it's just that I've accepted it and have talked to others with it and have even written articles about it. So it would be super super weird to be told I don't have OCD.
And honestly no one really insinuated that I don't have OCD...The therapist just focused more today on talking about trauma and how maybe that started everything - I was born a month early and my parents weren't allowed to touch me for like a couple days for whatever reason...And then I got extremely sick a few months later when I had a vaccine...So the therapist is thinking somehow that all triggered some of my issues. It's confusing and I don't really get it. I also had an extremely controlling best friend for years that I have had nightmares about for the past almost three years...So yeah. Not sure what that's all about but the therapist is focusing a lot on that and is talking about using EMDR therapy, which is strange because I always thought ERP therapy would be how I would get treated. So I have no idea. I'm just confused and I don't know how to know if she's really smart for thinking about trying this method or if I need something else. She did mention something about me taking that assessment test thingy to see if I had any other issues...She said something about avoidant personality disorder. Probably because I mentioned social anxiety, because I think they're similar. I don't think I have avoidant personality disorder, but again...This is all weirding me out. I've gotten used to having the label of social anxiety. Which sounds super weird, but like you said...Having a name for it helps somehow.
Anyway, that was really long and rambly...Hopefully that made sense.
Of course it would feel strange to you to suddenly not "have" OCD. Though you wouldn't be the first person with such an experience, even among article writers, and I imagine there'd be so much overlap that your articles are still relevant anyway.
It is confusing, but maybe we should look at it from a different perspective: All those categories are not laws of nature or something. Labels and requirements for diagnoses are being changed all the time, often the symptoms are so similar that there isn't much of a difference. It's a man-made system that has limitations. Same goes for therapy forms, and there it doesn't only depend on your diagnosis but on your preferences and other individual factors what works best for you. Sometimes you'll just have to try different ones.
Doing more tests could also help you more, right? Traumatic experiences early in life are known to cause all kinds of disorders, and you can very well have OCD, too. You don't have to understand all that stuff right away, try to take it slowly? I hope you'll figure things out.
I am sorry that you are going through this.
