Please I need thoughts
Blended family issues. So I sit here contemplating if I am loosing my mind. Backstory(I am divorced after 6 years married to a navy vet, this relationship put me in a stress level that I want no part of again. I mean the whole nine yards loosing weight I was bones because of baby mama drama he had two boys from his previous relationship which was all good until mom started to fill their heads saying I was the reason “mom & dad had split” which I had no even met my ex husband at the time but anyways..) this marriage caused me to create such feeling towards step kids. Fast forward some… after my divorce I met a guy that I wanted nothing to do other than chill for some time well turns out this guy had a 5 year old daughter smh just my luck but mind you I have kids myself so I couldn’t be like that as I had kids of my own right!? I did laid out the rules that I wanted no part of baby mama drama as I had been through that already. Well fast forward some more 4 years later I turned out pregnant & a friend asked why she hadn’t seen his daughter lately mind you I have kids, school & work I had honestly not even realized the fact that indeed he had not been picking her up. Well I confronted him & he didn’t say much so of course my first time running through his phone and of course if you search you will find right!? Well last year I realized baby mama threw a *** fit about us having daughter stay at grandmas house one weekend while we went to the beach for the first time since we never do anything alone. The reason she fussed was because according to my now “fiancé” one of his brothers attempted to rape his little sister while mom was at work(luckily mom came home before making it to work as she realized she forgot her sweater and caught him before it was too late) well needless to say mom disowned him sent bad brother to live with dad and so there was nothing to be concerned with. Mind you this was on my fiancés weekend(I feel as we should be allowed to do what we want with her as long as she is safe right!?) well.. when they divorced because she cheated on my fiancé.. their divorce had 50/50 custody. She has not allowed him to see her for longer than one day out the week. I gave him half of the money needed for an attorney to get this fixed & has yet to do so. Am I wrong for being extremely upset a year later of this not being resolved!? I have now asked him for the money back but no signs of him trying to pay it back. We are having arguments on a daily it feels like over his daughter.. she doesn’t answer her phone (because she is grounded mom said) but yet she send her today to her with it on to track her.. am I being a total pain for telling him to turn her phone off since he can’t text her she shouldn’t have that on here at home. I’ve noticed I have dropped in weight, this is making me have flashbacks and I do not like it. I do not know what to do as talking about it isn’t helping.
@littleBeing5137
Any blended family item is going to be drama period. I think you were aware of that .. while you may be caring and concerned the more involved you get even just offering advice to your partner the more arguments will happen.
It does not seem like he has stood up for himself or been in his daughter corner on things and you pushing him to do it will not make it happen. This is his mess to fix and you should focus on what you can control.
You are correct, I knew it wouldn’t be easy but I am at a point that I have honestly ignored so much that I had to speak my mind and obviously that didn’t get us anywhere. I feel like this is just tearing us further apart and all I can think about is how I failed once again. My babygirl will be the one to pay the price if we separate at this point and that is what hurts me. I dislike how she does whatever she wants and my fiancé just sits there and takes it I dislike his daughter having a cellphone that tracks our path. Like I am NOT ok with any of it and I can’t just be the one to ignore.
@littleBeing5137
The ex is using the kid as a pawn funny how so many ex act like they don't want a person until they move on.... even if she does not want him back she enjoyed the control she had over him ... most who do not speak up most likely were told if they make any waves or speak up the visits will be cut off etc.
I agree some people give kids phones for tracking but when in your care it is not needed unless she wants to snoop.
See! These are my thoughts exactly, I understand my fiancé is pretty laid back but when it comes to stuff like these I expect him to react and do something about it. I needed an unbiased opinion and you have provided me just that! I truly appreciate you taking your time to read I have been having this on my chest and since my mom is not the best person I should take advise at this precise moment I needed to vent. I feel like him not doing anything about it is killing our relationship and not sure how to tell him such.
