Post partum loneliness
Hey everyone. Not sure how to use this website yet… thought I’ll give it a go here. I’m 5 months post partum and have been struggling with loneliness. My husband and I had a great relationship before the birth of our baby. Now that our babe is here and keeping us busy… we have lost ourselves. He is a great dad. Does most of the cooking. Changed diapers at night while I pump etc. but I feel I’m co-parenting and have a roommate instead of an intimate relationship. I’ve brought it up to him a few times… but it has not gotten better. Date nights did not happen as we had parents helping us the first few months and culturally, you just don’t take off with your husband alone (sucks I know). But I’m not even sure he craves that alone time like I do. Which is what really hurts. It feels like he does not care and is content being a dad for now. I’m coping my focusing on my baby, who is the most chill and sweetest babe ❤️
@yellowCucumber7686
Hi yellowCucumber, allow me to welcome you to 7 cups and to this forum! I used to call the post partum period the fourth trimester. I was a doula for four years and supported families through pregnancy and labor. This is a period of major adjustment, as you go from being a couple to a family. Since everyone is unique in their personality and expectations, it can affect each person differently. It is normal to be experiencing the fact that your partner feels like a roommate for a while. There is no definitive timeline for how long this lasts, but you are both navigating your way through a completely new dynamic. It takes time to sync up to the new flow of things and discover what parenting is all about and how you will relate to one another going forward. It is like discovering and developing a whole new identity.
Like you had briefly eluded to, it sounds like your husband is enjoying being a dad right now. You will find your way back to each other. It just requires some patience and lots of understanding. Your needs may be different but the best way to know how your husband feels about alone time is to ask him. Tell him you have been missing your time with him. Good communication is paramount during the fourth trimester. Happy to hear you are loving your time with your new little one. The first year is so magical, so enjoy soaking it all up. 💗
@yellowCucumber7686 Focus your attention what matters in life.