Unsure about having a baby
I've always had the thought that I didn't want my own kids but rather adopt. Especially since adulthood. It never moved or interested me, but thinking about fostering or adopting always felt right. Now I've turned 30 and find myself thinking A LOT about life, the future, etc. In the last 2 years I've always been thinking about not ever having kids at all, not adopt either. But now I'm reconsidered everything and have no clue. I don't really know what are my own feelings and what is pressure from society... Some of this is also coming from the fact that my life is not very stable now. Everything's good but I'm living abroad, working a job just to finance that, but not a career, no pension, savings, etc. I am in a good relationship with my boyfriend of 10 years.
As of now we have not discussed it properly. I tend to sit in my feelings a bit before discussing with others and right now I'd like to first hear from this community and also talk to friends, mothers and not alike, and then talk to him about it later.
I guess what I'm asking the community here now is if anyone was also really unsure if they wanted kids and what they ended up doing. I know no one is ever properly ready and everyone's nervous etc, but I need to hear from someone who maybe went from saying no kids, to then having kids. Or how quick the process was of making the decision to have kids. Thank you🧡🧡
@Sixto It is your choice on weather or not you want kids.
Please do not let people tell you other wise.
I do not have any kids and I am not married either.
It is my choice to be single and not have any kids.
Plus I have disabilities, that would make it hard for me to support a family, I am retired on disability and do not drive.
So it is ok for you not to have kids and it is ok to have them.
It is ok to be single and it is ok to be married.
I hope this gives you some insight.
True society should never force or pressure anyone into having kids or getting married if the dont want to. Adults can make their own decisions . Dont try to live up to society's standards . Periodt
it is always your choice and NO one is keeping score and people at your gae often have these thoughts going back and forth so IMO that is totally normal
I think life happens more then planned and something could come along and change your thoughts over and over
maybe in future you meet and partner with a person with kids and then become a step parent. Do not worry about it until the choice is on the table not a concept in the future.
Hey there! It's funny you ask that question because I went through a similar phase within the last couple of years! For the longest time, I said I didn't want kids, or that I would be okay with only having a couple or even adopting. At the same time, I could never picture myself without kids at all - I guess I just never felt ready.
Fast forward to last year and I suddenly got this crazy "baby fever," but my husband and I were in the middle of some serious home renovations. We completed the reno in January and I came off my birth control right away. We've been trying ever since then with no success to date.
While it's been hard being patient while it seems like all of our friends are getting pregnant and starting families, it confirmed the path I chose to be on to becoming a parent! I could never picture myself being so ready and confident in my decision about this, but now I am!
Ultimately, it's your decision and no one else's, but I hope you find what you're looking for!
@Sixto a little experiment .... Flip a coin ... But don't see it's results for a day or days ( your choice ) , if you want to know your feelings about this, just promise yourself whatever the coin says you have to do ... Well you can't really argue with the coin ... Good luck