Chat Between @jesusredeemedme2425 and @celestine22
Please don’t read if you’re not the people listed above. Thanks! <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Hi how are you doing? It's so nice to meet you and maybe start a friendship :)
@Celestine22
Hiiiii!!! <3 I'm good. I'm starving hehe... Gonna make some mac and cheese soon <3
Tell me about you? <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Right now, Im working. I work online as a freelance Dutch teacher. Quite a busy day, but hey, it's almost weekend! :) Implementing a lot of changes in my life right now (quit smoking cigarettes, Intermittent fasting, Exercising, getting up earlier, being more consistent with reading, budgeting) keeping myself quite busy. How about you?
Is Dutch hard to teach/learn?
Wow! You are inspirational <3
I’ve been wallowing in my depression XD
@jesusredeemedme2425
I don't find it too hard to teach, but Im a native Dutch speaker. It's not the easiest language...
It took me quite some time to get to the point Im at now. I have had years of dififculties, depression, eating disorders, more recently my boyfriend was an addict and it was and still is tough. We will all go through difficult moments and once you are ready, I know you will be able to feel better too! :)
Why isn’t it easy?
Wow… I’m so sorry. I have an ED too, and depression.
What are your hobbies? <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Just lots of grammar rules, and whenever you think you got it, there is another exception to that rule jeje. I once had a student on the more advanced level, and the entire class we were working on correct sentence structures etc, and the very last sentence she made, I was so proud of her as she followed all the rules I had just thought her and we went over together... However, it was another 'special case'...
Hobbies... ufff... hard to say, honestly Im always busy working and / or reading/studying. So I guess in a way learning new stuff is my main hobby. I used to sing and draw a lot but haven't done it since forever. I do want to pick it up eventually again...
How about your hobbies?
@Celestine22
Imagine Welsh XD
What do you like to read?
I love drawing too!!! <3 What do you draw?
I like reading, drawing, using my phone lol, and helping others <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Jejeje Yeah Welsh doesnt seem easy...
I mainly read personal development books, books about energy, energy healing, financial literacy etc.; How about you?
I haven't done any drawing for years... I used to draw a lot of horses, sometimes flowers or other animals. I miss it I just really struggle to find the time for it
I am mainly focused on work nowadays, but also love to read, watch series/movies, sing (but is also something I havent done for quite some time), going to the beach or hang out with my best friend or boyfriend. // I eventually want to be able to help others, more like businesswise, but I am not ready for it yet, just feel I have a lot more to learn before starting that up.
Sorry I took so long to respond!
I’m mostly reading historical fiction, especially fiction for kids or teens, lately.
Why not right now? When you read this? <3 5 minutes… That’s all you need. At least start :)
How do you want to help others?
@jesusredeemedme2425
Yeah I drew a dog on a napkin the other day :) Thats a start, right?
I actually bought an entire drawing kit online a couple months ago, really want to use it, just don't feel like it lately... But, I will, what you said, even starting with just 5 minutes, just start...
I have been working a ridiculous amount last week and over the weekend, Im still exhausted... Just feeling a bit not myself this week and it's my birthday tomorrow too... Don't really plan on doing anything... Don't really have anyone to invite or do something with, I got my boyfriend at least but he is still in recovery... but we will make it fun.
I want to help people by finding their true self, to get in touch with the best version of themselves that they can possibly be, helping them heal on an energetic / karmic level. I just can't do it unless I have walked the walk first... and Im doing that now, but im not there yet.
How are you doing?
That sounds amazing! Are you proud of yourself for getting back into your art?? <3
Ooh what kind of drawing kit??? When you read this… break it out. Don’t do any “official” art. Just draw something small and freehand and try out the supplies <3
How much experience do you have?
5 minutes. That’s all you need. :) You could do what I do… Make Christmas cards! Makes it less intimidating :)
Happy late birthday!!! Mines coming up too <3
What will you be doing for rest this week? ;)
Recovery? Is he in rehab?
How would you help people become better people?
I hurt my ankle and I’m forced to rest now lol
@jesusredeemedme2425
jeje yeah I am proud for getting back into my art. Haven't done anything since but I'll get there, once I'm ready. I don't have that much experience honestly, just did it a lot through my teenage years for fun honestly. The kit I bought has normal pencils, charcoal, stuff like that.
Christmas cards!! that's a good one. Once Im starting it all up again I want to buy a good watercolour set too. My art teacher made christmas cards, as we live in the tropics it was tropic related with watercolours they were awesome!
Thank you!! When is your birthday?
Yeah my boyfriend was a drug addict, it's been a super tough year honestly... I was suddenly dropped in the middle of the entire scene with it all, it was a lot to deal with...
For the rest of the week, kinda derailed honestly, as it was my boyfriend, we made some "special" brownies, and drank quite some wine over the weekend. It was fun but hard to get back on track right now, back to routines, work, im still so tired...
Im not sure yet how I would help other people become better people. Trying to figure that out, but most likely some kind of energy work related something.
Im so sorry to hear about your ankle, is it getting any better?
Please forgive my slow response… My brain gets overwhelmed really easily. Please don’t take it personally :)
This is your cue to do more art, the same day you see this. ;) Even something tiny <3
I draw Christmas cards because it feels less intimidating lol
A couple weeks ago :)
Hows he doing?
Do special brownies have a unique taste? Or can you not taste it because of the chocolate?
What is energy work?
It healed quickly :) Now im dealing with heart issues (maybe?) and my doctor wants me on a 14-day continuous heart monitor…
@jesusredeemedme2425
No problem at all, there is no pressure to respond quickly :)
I've been doing a couple sketches over the past week or so. It feels really good, so slowly easing back into it.
Overall he is doing really well, he is currently in a relapse again though. It's really difficult... The special brownies, I did think they had an unique taste but it's mainly chocolate though.
Energy work: Energy work refers to practices and techniques that aim to balance, restore, or manipulate the flow of energy within and around the body. This concept is based on the belief that human beings have a subtle energy system that interacts with their physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being. Energy work is often linked to holistic health practices and various spiritual traditions.
Keep me updated about your potential heart issue... I hope it won't be anything too serious.
What have you sketched so far? <3
Is he in rehab?
Does the chocolate intensify the effect?
Ohh ok :)
Cardiology called me today about the heart monitor, and will be mailing it to me. It only costs $10! <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
I did some sketches of random shapes to practice a bit of shading, an eye, a horse and a christmas card! :) Thank you for that recommendation, it was really fun to do!
We can't afford rehab. He tries to quit the drugs at home but it's hard. Especially, as a couple months after we moved apartments, some of the dealers moved in here too. We are living in an apartment complex, there are 4 apartments total. That is really *** honestly and causing us problems again. He relapsed again last weekend, and pawned basically everything, his phone, his laptop.... took out a bunch of loans... and as I am the only working right now, I need to get everything paid and back... The stress since Friday is overwhelming and I'm completely breaking down again...
I don't think the chocolate has to do with it, but it definitely is strong once you cook it.
$10... not too bad, pretty cheap! Keep me updated, I really hope you are ok, and that it isn't anything serious!
Wow… I’m 18 days late responding lol
Yay! Who’s the Christmas card for? <3
Is there any way to tell the authorities that he took out loans to buy drugs, to take the liability off you, and put it solely on him?
I just got the monitor off last night… Hopefully I’ll get the results soon <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Don't worry about not responding sooner, I understand.
The christmas cards, it sounds stupid but I look up to the big guys I met the past year. Not the illegal side, but they are great businessmen, they have more businesses than just the illegal one. So for both of them, and the exwife of one of them, who is a good friend.
About the loans, I have one loan left to pay, that is a loan I took out personally to help my boyfriend out. He is trying his best, it's just a long, hard road he is one. I made the decision to stand by his side through it all, it's rough, but we will get through it. We almost broke up in the past few weeks, but we are still together. the plan is though for him to move back to the US for at least months, get himself back on his feet, also financially. Im gonna miss him, a lot. The exwife of one of the big guys, told the big guys that my boyfriend wasn't behaving too well, and now they want to have a chat with him. Just motivate him to stay on the right path towards recovery. So we are all going down there in two weeks. Im excited, but at the same time I get so nervous around them... So Im gonna make sure the christmas cards are ready by then, I now have 2 finished. So 1 more to go, then I want to paste the paper on some cardboard paper and write a poem on the back :)
However, getting my boyfriend back to the States is gonna be really difficult without money. He has no place yet to go and stay for a couple days or weeks. We don't have the money for the flight nor the fee he will have to pay at the airport for not being legal here in the Dominican Republic. The only way is to get a loan, either a personal loan, or from the embassy... It's a lot to deal with right now.
Anyway, the monitor is off, Good! When are you expecting the results back? How is everything going with you?
Remind me to respond to this later… I’m taking a break from 7Cups for a week <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Hey How are you doing? Just as you asked a friendly reminder to not forget to respond :)
Hey, Cel :)
@jesusredeemedme2425
Heyyy How have you been? It's so good to see you back!!!
I’m good! It’s been a rollercoaster lol… Lots of good, a little bad… lol
How about you??? <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Same here, Im all over the place right now. I have to move which wasn't expected next week. My boyfriend is now in the USA and kinda getting to know a new guy... we are spending a LOT of time together and Im not sleeping enough, barely eating... Hanging in there at the moment...
Did you break up with your boyfriend?
Why aren’t you sleeping and eating enough?
@jesusredeemedme2425
No, im still with my boyfriend, that's the bad part of it all... I don't know how or when to break up with him as we are now in a long distance relationship and Im literally all he has... But I really really like this other guy...
I don't know, I just think stress. Its a huge shift for me to live alone, my boyfriend finally gone, and then this apartment im renting got severe plumbing issues so I got to move, im moving Friday or Saturday this week.
I think it’s time to walk away.
@jesusredeemedme2425
I broke up with him officially last night. He responded very calmly and it almost felt like this is what he wanted to. SO I'm officially single now, done with the whole drug addict part... so now just going to take things easy, get to know this guy better and see where that will lead to.
How are things with you?
I know you’re right where you should be. <3
Im proud of you! <3
Do you think your new guy might be The One? <3
Lots of chaos at work, but good chaos lol! Lots of newbies, which means lots of new friends <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
I'm not ready yet to start thinking about if he might be the one or not. But, it's my first guy that actually wants to support and help me. It feels so weird to me still. For example, Im moving apartments over the weekend, and it's all the way uphill on the mountain and he said he is going to order a water service for me, so that instead of me having to go up and down hill with huge gallon things of water, I have a water service at home, with 12 bottles and I can call the guy whenever I need it refilled. Like he is toughtful, and since we started seeing each other 2 weeks ago almost, we have seen each other, every day. I do really like him, but Im still processing everything from the past year and my ex boyfriend and it's just all a bit fast. But one step at a time for now.
that's good! New friends! That's awesome
It’s the new guy who’s going to order the water? I got confused by the pronouns lol
@jesusredeemedme2425
Yeah, the new guy eventually wants to do that. He is been very supportive and helpful this weekend with the move. Constantly asking me if I ate already or not, as Im not eating well the past few weeks... Being super aware of my safety, telling me to close windows in the evenings etc. He slept over the past 2 nights here too. Im really starting to have more and more feelings for this guy...
But at the same time I have moments where it hurts still that I broke up with my boyfriend. I already was ready for it months/weeks ago, but still... It's a chapter closed. And I wanted to update him about the dog, in the new place that he is happy, more outdoor space to run around, but the messages aren't being delivered... It's moments like these that are painful as Im immediately worried that he is back on drugs or anything like that... IDK it's just a lot going on at once.
I'll get through it though. I just want some peace for now... So moving to this new apartment has been great. Still lots of things to do and work to get done but today they are finishing up all the safety iron bars and closing of the gates so Im gonna have total privacy after today here.
How is everything with you?
Remind me to respond to this when I have more time ;)
That was supposed to be a smiley face lol
@jesusredeemedme2425
Hi how are you doing?
Aww, he sounds really sweet <3 He’s not overbearing, is he?
Maybe just try to think of it as he got a new phone, not that he’s in trouble. You can’t let the worry eat you alive. <3
Do you miss him?
Can you write to him in other ways, like maybe on WhatsApp or something?
Why do you need iron bars?? Where on earth do you live?? Lol
I’m sick of my ED and my migraines…
@jesusredeemedme2425
This new guy is awesome. I just struggle with putting up my boundaries... he isn't working yet, so he is at my place 24/7 so as i work from home, as soon as Im off work, I spend my time with him. However, I don't really do the things right now, that I wanted to be doing, like reading, self-development, working through some emotions etc. But I'll get there. He is getting a new car today so hopefully he is gonna go back to work again soon. But lots of things just keep popping up from my past traumas/experiences and its just tough.... like I had a flashback last weekend from when I got sexually abused by my own father when I was being intimate with him... or things like when he asks for money, even though I know he is going to get money over the next weeks and will pay me back, it's just tough.
My ex boyfriend.... there are times I miss him... but it's ok.
I live in the Dominican Republic, I feel safe enough without them, but you never know honestly... It's easy to break a window and get in the house, it's a lot harder to get through iron bars jajaja.
"I’m sick of my ED and my migraines…" ---- are you ok?
Does he live with you?
Yeah, I’ve found that to be true… boyfriends seem to distract me from personal growth.
Did the flashback make you freeze and not want to continue?
Do you think he’s using you?
Where on earth is the Dominican Republic?? Lol. I, as you can tell, am very geographically challenged lol
Do a lot of break-ins happen there?
Yeah, more or less. I have an eating disorder, and I’m under a doctor’s care for my migraines, which seem to be dissipating.
@jesusredeemedme2425
well.... he doesn't officially live with me yet. However, he sleeps here every night, so I guess in a way he is.... I don't think he is using me. He is just going through a rough patch he has like 8 thousand dollars coming in in the next 2 months or so. So I know it will be ok, it just feels scary though.
About the flashback I just completely panicked. Almost got into a panic attack but managed to just breathe. However, I still haven't explained to this guy what exactly happpened, and I think he just felt really odd, no idea what happened... Im just afraid that if I start talking about it more, it will start happening more frequently again
Dominican Republic -> Caribbean, it shares an island with Haiti. left from Puerto Rico, to the right of Cuba.
I never experienced a break in here, but yeah I guess it can sometimes be quite frequent, especially around holidays.
I used to have eating disorders in the past. Feel free to just talk or vent if you need to. I hope you will feel better soon with your migraines.
Isn’t $8,000 coming in a good thing?
Does he understand your trauma? Your past?
Ooh what’s it like there??? I bet the food is amazing <3 Were you born there or did you move there?
Experienced a break?
I overeat at almost every meal.
How did you get free of your eating disorders?
Im now taking a supplement, which seems to be helping with my migraines <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Yeah, definitely $8000 coming in is good. I just feel a bit weird and stressed out about the situation I am in right now, financially. He will pay me the money back I lend him for sure, but idk. Rent is due this week already, and more bills to pay next week.
Does he understand your trauma? Your past? --- I guess so. We haven't talked a lot about it. I don't really want to keep talking about it too much. He isn't waiting for me to keep talking about my past relationships and ex boyfriends. He knows that I got sexually abused by my biological father when I was around 12 years old but thats about it.
I love it here. I moved here with my parents when I was 16 almost 17 years old. The food is ok, im not a huge fan of rice... They eat a lot of rice here but it isn't bad... People are very nice here. The wheather overall is just summer 24/7.
Experienced a break? --- a break of what?
I overeat at almost every meal. - Im so sorry to hear that.
How did you get free of your eating disorders? -- I mainly had a mix of Anorexia and Bulimia. Sometimes I starved myself, sometimes i binged. I had my parents helping me and making sure I ate etc. It's hard, I still don't have a healthy relationship with food. As soon as I get too stressed out, food is the first thing I deprive myself of... But it's a lot better than it was. What is triggering the overeating? Is it anxiety, stress, anger, fear? Start there, identify the emotions. Accept yourself, accept that you struggle with it and don't get angry/disappointed in yourself. You are struggling with food, and that's ok. I also love reading, especially self-development books, maybe try to read some books and see which one you like and follow the steps outlined in the book. I am currently working on the Warrior goddess training of ASh Amara
Im now taking a supplement, which seems to be helping with my migraines <3 --- that's good to hear!!!
Did he pay you back?
Do you think he wouldn’t want to hear your struggles?
What made your family move there?
How do they make their rice there?
What other kinds of yummy food do they have?
You said it, not me lol
I think it’s just loneliness and boredom, maybe trauma, idk. Maybe it feels like one of the only things I can control, one of the only things that changes in my monotonous life.
@jesusredeemedme2425
Did he pay you back? -- not yet, but they started working on the job he had lined up for the 5000 dollars so he will, soon. I don't care about him paying me back, but it would be nice to have a bit of help. We are a couple, it doesn't have to be equal financially. But if he has, after ive been doing it alone for at least a month for both of us, he better takes me out for dinner and help me out with some stuff.
Do you think he wouldn’t want to hear your struggles? --- I think he does, I don't think he minds but I just don't like talking about it constantly. But also, men and women work differently... like he has problems still with his ex wife and dividing all their properties etc but he never says anything, just that she is difficult sometimes or whatever, he doesn't share a lot neither.
What made your family move there? --- my stepdad already had a piece of land here before he met my mom. He travelled a lot in the past and loved it here. People are nice, you don't need a lot of money to survive, living expenses are a lot lower than in western countries etc.
How do they make their rice there? --- I have no idea... I suck at making rice. Im not the biggest fan of rice honestly.
What other kinds of yummy food do they have? --- look it up! Dominican food! I don't know too many local dishes honestly.
You said it, not me lol --- I read back, it was about break ins I think :)
I think it’s just loneliness and boredom, maybe trauma, idk. Maybe it feels like one of the only things I can control, one of the only things that changes in my monotonous life. --- I get that. For me it was all about control too, and as soon as I feel things in my life are getting out of control the first thing I do is stop eating and control my eating. Maybe just start with acceptance. I accept that I am struggling. I accept that I feel this way. and make small steps forward. If you feel your life is too monotonous than do something else. Go out to a café, go to the cinema, idk.. just change things up.
So I managed to pay rent with help of this guy Im dating. He called the owner and said I would pay 400 dollars or so and that he would cover the other 100 dollars with the payment he is gonna receive. As its the owner that is paying him that money. So Im starting to pay off the debt I have from this week, should be done with that in about 4-5 weeks. So making steps in the right direction.... but I feel messed up, I used some dr*gs with my now boyfriend the past 3 weekends but my body can't handle it. My kidneys have always been pretty weak... and I still got to tell him that i don't want to smoke weed daily neither anymore.... but ill get there
Did i completely miss this post?? Or forget??? I’m so sorry :(
@jesusredeemedme2425
No problem! It can happen :) How are you doing?
I was abused today… im not doing well rn
My mom’s in the ER right now… She thinks she’s having a heart attack. I’m in the waiting room and separated from her and I am PANICKING :’(
My mom’s in the ER right now… She thinks she’s having a heart attack. I’m in the waiting room and separated from her and I am PANICKING :’(
@jesusredeemedme2425
i just saw your message, are you ok? Is your mom ok? Remember to just take deep breaths in and out.
Better now… kinda
I have a challenge for you :)
@jesusredeemedme2425
tell me all about it!!
Im feeling a bit weird and down at the moment... I am reading this book and I really want to work with that book and start a women's circle and meet every 2 weeks or maybe once a month. However, so far, my boyfriend isn't too supportive of it... I guess he is afraid it will stress me out more but It gives me energy and motivation right now, but not really if he is against it... It kinda takes the joy away from me. But I don't want anyone in my life deciding for me what I can or cannot do... So im going to do it, but idk... it's so much harder without his support
I challenge you to make a penpal chat with someone new :) Give them an “out”, in the first post, if they don’t want to or don’t feel comfy. Make a new friend! <3
I think you should do it :) It will give you a supportive community of ladies around you to love on you. I think your bf is just worried about you. Maybe tell him you’ll do a trial run? And if it’s overwhelming, you’ll cut back or stop <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Good challenge but Im not so sure about it... It feels scary to just randomly approach someone to get a new penpal friend... But I might try...
About that group, yeah, Im definitely going to do it, I just wish he would let me know what the issue is for him, what he is afraid of. Without him telling me anything, I can't reassure him or show him differently... Normally I sleep in on Sundays anyway, so we won't lose out on that much time together neither. Just feel I got to prove myself to him now, trying to do more around the house, not fall behind on household tasks etc. But it's a lot at the same time, I work from home, but he isn't working, and still all the household tasks fall on me. So sometimes it just feels like he expects me to do everything alone, work, taking care of the house, taking care of myself, spending time with him etc.
Well how about this… Who’s caught your eye? (Not in a romantic sense, of course.) Whose personality matches yours and makes you happy when you see their posts? :)
Have you asked him?
I think it’s time for a divvying up of household tasks…
@jesusredeemedme2425
Being very honest, I don't read a lot of the posts here on 7Cups.
I have asked him what he is afraid of or why he doesn't want me doing the women circle group thing. But Im not getting any responses. And dividing household tasks, don't think it will happen. It's a different culture, he is Dominican. It's the "woman's" task.
I broke down completely yesterday, still don't feel ok. He used the rent money last week, but he promised me the business deal with his car would be finished in time and that he would take care of the money. But of course, still nothing. So, now Im borrowing money again to try to make things work. And it just constantly feels like Im doing 1 step forward and then 3 steps back and it's frustrating. And I wanted to hurt myself so bad... I picked up something that I couldn't cut the skin with but just made lines for hours, here and there... and I feel bad still. I just don't know how to snap out of this.
@Celestine22
The financial part together with him just not wanting me to do something for myself, and set up that group, as well as having to do it all myself in the household. He isn't working, why can't he help? But I brought it up last night, that I now feel as I want to do the group that I have to do even more to prove to him that I can handle it, but deep down that I feel like crap. And he just no response. Im not happy right now at all. And then he just randomly said: Im going to take my car back to the dealer. He can't make the payments but he can find a job and even if it will pay only the payments and nothing else, it's better than taking it back, losing all the money he has invested in it and having to start from 0 again.
How come?
I hate to tell you this… But I think you’re in an abusive relationship and aren’t aware of it. Abuse comes in many different forms, not just physical. Thoughts?
@jesusredeemedme2425
I don't know, it feels like it. But my thinking mind tells me its not an abusive relationship at all. But it does feel like it... I just don't know, right now Im not ok, and trying to create some space and time between me and my bf, im sleeping in the guestroom just feel way too overstimulated to be able to sleep next to someone else
Remind me to respond to this in a bit… Gotta go do laundry lol
I think you should seek a support group, or at least watch videos about it. I’ve been to an online DV support group myself. You don’t have to share, just listen <3
I think you should seek a support group, or at least watch videos about it. I’ve been to an online DV support group myself. You don’t have to share, just listen <3
I just wanted to give you a heads up (I’m sending this to all my active penpal chats):
I’ve been on 7Cups a lot lately and typing is bothering my carpal tunnel. I’ve also been reaching burnout, and haven’t been accomplishing things I want to do lol!
So I may be slow in responding, while giving my hand and my mind a bit of a rest. Please be patient with my slower responses! <3
ALSO… If I ever take longer than maybe 5 days to respond, the notification may have disappeared. Just send me a reminder post to send me a new notification, to remind me to respond :)
Thanks for understanding! <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
No problem at all. I hope you will feel better soon! Take care of yourself
Tonight’s challenge: Knock out at least one “Needs Reply” post <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Where can you find the need reply posts?
On your phone, go to each individual section (depression, icebreakers, newbie hub, etc) and sort by “needs reply”.
On your computer, click on community and sort by “needs reply”.
<3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Thanks! I never knew.
No problem <3
How are you doing? <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Im not sure. Im really struggling this week. I just feel defeated with the financial situation Im in. I am trying to keep going but I just can't this week. And then last night my mom called, my grandma has been diagnosed with stomach cancer and doesn't want to get treated for it
How are you?
I’m so sorry… That’s so hard. :(
Why doesn’t she want to be treated?
I’m good, trying to figure out how to rest without feeling guilty…
@jesusredeemedme2425
Im not sure why... I mean when my mom was a child, my grandma already was in and out of hospitals. Im pretty sure she might have had colon cancer and she almost died of it. She is now 86 years old, I think she just doesn't want to put her body through it again. Through chemo and all the side effects and the low quality of life. I think she just made peace with it, that it is her time to go. It's okay though I respect her decision. But I took the news really well and then yesterday kept breaking down, just wanted to cry all day. It's difficult. I live in the Dominican Republic, she lives in the Netherlands, I am not financially ok to say let's see her one last time in real life. I mean it might still be months or years, no one really has an estimate yet, but on her age, I think it might go quickly.
And then the finances are just a mess and it's stressing me out but Im just trying to make the best of it. But it's a tough month again. I was almost stable completely financially and then my boyfriend used all the money for the rent, 1 week before we had to pay it. He had a business deal going on so he wanted to pay me back with the money he would get from it, but then that got delayed, I had to borrow money to cover the rent, and suddenly I was out 500 dollars if not more. Right after that, he lost his car, because of late payments and stuff, the story is a bit more complicated than that though but still. So the money he got from the deal, he had to use, and now the dealer is being extremely difficult and he will have to pay them in full about 16 000 dollars, that none of us have. So he is trying to refinance his car, so besides restabilizing the finances, Im now also paying for his trips back and forth to the city to try and refinance his car and get his car back which isn't cheap neither... Im just feeling very demotivated as Im never buying stuff for me, or spending any money on me, however, my boyfriend does all the time, every week. But im the one who is working in the end, and who is putting in the time and energy and I just feel exhausted with everything going on.
I know I will feel better again soon, Im just off my period, so u know, women normally feel more emotional on their period as well. And I know giving up isn't an option. If I would give up for a moment, and take a couple days, lay on bed, cry, slow down and give my body the time to just feel and move through the motions I will make this whole situation 10x worse. But I am trying to slow down in other areas, like the cleaning, those kind of things, just do the bare minimum this week until I get back on my feet a bit more.
Never feel bad about taking time to rest and recharge. You need it, we all need it sometimes. Society nowadays expects us to keep going, all the time, and that we deliver the same quantity and quality of work all the time, every day. It just isn't possible. Feel what you need, what your body needs and give yourself that. I understand, and I am sure everyone here on 7cups will understand it too.
Remind me to respond to this later :)
@jesusredeemedme2425
HI how are you? Just a reminder as you asked to respond to the post!!!
Update from my side, Im doing ok, but just lost motivation. I know Im moving forward and taking steps and working towards a better more stable life and that Im a lot better now than years ago or even last year but i don't know. After the news of my grandma who is slowly dying right now, in the last months most likely of her life... I just feel depressed, defeated. I need a win. Im just not sure what that win is going to be
I think your win might be deciding if your boyfriend should stay in your life.