Chat Between @jesusredeemedme2425 and @cyanessence
@jesusredeemedme2425
Hey buddy! Thanks for reaching out. It means a lot as I see you're quite active on here, so giving me specifically time makes me feel special. I really appreciate that.
I like you took the initiative to try and clear up those "Needs Reply" posts, as I believe everyone deserves to feel heard. It can be a painful experience posting and getting no response. I've felt it on other sites. This is a truly unique and loving community!
Hope you have a good day friend, your efforts are definitely seen and felt.
I’m so sorry I haven’t responded yet! I’m still here lol
Hehe, am I a celebrity??? :P
I’m glad to talk to you! You seem pretty cool :)
Like I said to someone earlier in another post… I’ve been there. Hurt and unloved and invisible. I absolutely REFUSE to let anyone else feel that way…
Thank you! <3
So tell me about you? :)
I’m so sorry I haven’t responded yet! I’m still here lol
Hehe, am I a celebrity??? :P
I’m glad to talk to you! You seem pretty cool :)
Like I said to someone earlier in another post… I’ve been there. Hurt and unloved and invisible. I absolutely REFUSE to let anyone else feel that way…
Thank you! <3
So tell me about you? :)
@jesusredeemedme2425
In your own time! If it becomes too much to manage, I completely understand. Life has a lot of demands. It's really the thought that counts.
It's nice seeing someone be not only active in the mental health community, but truly impactful. I think you are a bit of celebrity, but it is much deserved ^^
I'm learning self-love still, placing less importance on love from others. A post with no reply does not necessarily mean I am unloved. I trust that it is there. It's nice to receive actively of course, but I find great solace in having self-worth.
I'm at a real crossroads in my life. It's been about a month since I snapped out of a deep depression, and the happiness and love I'm feeling is still a little surreal. I have a strong desire to be present in the community. I would love to help others!
I used to be right into gaming, but it hasn't sparked joy for a while now. It's a little sad as I feel I'm losing a part of myself, but playing is an exercise in frustration. I'm getting much more joy from self-development and being there for others! I still have a deep appreciation for games for they were my friend in the darkest of times, but they're not really serving me any more.
It would be cool to hear something about you if you care to share! Okay if you don't want to. But I'm curious how you came to be the person you are. You are a kind soul, how on Earth did you come to be such?
My brain gets really overwhelmed very easily, which is why I sometimes procrastinate on penpal chats. Not just yours, others as well. Please give me grace and time to respond… I’m just messed up hehe
I feel like I’m either impacting no one, or impacting them negatively… The past few days have been rough.
I wish I had that self-worth lol
Why not help others by hitting the “Needs Reply” posts with great vigor? :) I knocked out a bunch tonight, but I need help hehe
Is it because you’re getting older, you’re learning more about yourself and your mental health, or maybe because you have less bandwidth for things that take longer?
That’s an easy answer… Jesus and trauma. I want to share Jesus’ love, and I don’t want ANYONE to feel as invisible and depressed and lonely as I do every day…
@jesusredeemedme2425
Totally get the overwhelm and procrastination. I'm happy to leave this conversation here if you would like :) it's been fun and just nice. But I want you to have energy for others xD they need you more than I do. I'm in a good spot.
It can be hard to know how to help. I half-write a lot of comments and then delete them as I don't want to say the wrong thing. I'm still learning a lot about helping. I learned a lot from you, and others on here. I believe you're having a positive impact, but it can be hard for you to know that when you might not get a lot of feedback.
Developing a sense of self-worth takes time. It usually doesn't come from others telling you that you are worthy, but I truly think you are. You certainly brighten even my brightest days. I look up to you.
Thanks for reminding me about the "Needs Reply" section. It's a fantastic and important feature of 7 Cups, and I will try to spend more time there.
I'm still figuring out why games lost their appeal. I think age is a factor, for sure. I'll have to think more about it!
Struggling has a way of softening the heart, allowing empathy to shine. I too have trauma. I think Jesus is an inspiration. Effortless, tireless kindness and love. Pure, beautiful, divine.
I know what it's like to feel invisible and alone. There's no easy way to feel better, but I found solace in reaching out and finding my people.
Feel free to wrap up or just leave it here. Up to you, so happy to have had the exchange!
I’m not leaving! Lol
I love our convos, I just need time in between because my brain is dumb lol
I’m just kinda ignoring a lot of posts rn, just liking and such. Trying to knock out some NR posts too. I unsubscribed from a few posts because they weren’t serving me anymore and I’ve getting been getting BOMBARDED with notifications lol!
How to help who?
You’ve learned from me?
I think im definitely getting compassion fatigue, like Affy said.
Btw, did you want me to add you to my taglist? :)
You look up to me? How come?
Thank you for working on the NR posts! That’s awesome <3
Do you play any older games?
You have trauma?
Jesus is AWESOME! I wish I could be a better Christian.
Who are your people?
Don’t worry, I’m staying here :)
@jesusredeemedme2425
My brain is tricky. At the moment, it just wants to express, explore, introspect, understand. I have a strong compulsion to communicate which I'm trying to control so I don't become annoying. That's why I often reply immediately, and give people outs. I also have too much time. Looking forward to this philosophy course. Forgive your brain ^^ it's doing its best.
Don't push yourself too much. I worry you spread yourself thin, but I know the desire to spread the love. I wish I could respond to more, but I don't want to empty my cup. I've been active every day since joining I think, and it's only been rewarding.
I learned from you the value in letting someone know you're there, thinking of them. The posts you make that call others to send love is really special. I know what it's like to receive a sudden influx of love and appreciation. It can make a bad day into a good one.
I also am learning how to communicate from you. Just your style, it shows you really care. Sometimes I feel I could be more emotive.
Caring isn't exactly free of cost. It takes a toll. I hope my belief in you refreshes you, but do take care of yourself. Remember to take breaks.
I look up to you because of your big, big heart. It's genuine. You wouldn't have started this thread otherwise. You're reaching people on a mass scale, but also on a personal scale. That takes a certain amount of depth.
I like when I can relate to an NR post. Sometimes that's the problem: no-one can relate. But we're all human. One can often find that they can relate at least in some way.
I grew up with 1st gen Pokemon. I don't really go out of my way to play older games, but there's a Pac Man machine here that piqued my interest. I'll give it a go! What about yourself?
I won't go into all my trauma, but my mental health struggles have left scars. I was completely unlike myself for 8 months in the Adult Acute Unit. Then depression took many, many years of my life. I had such distorted thinking, I believed happiness to be mere delusion. I'm having to learn who I am now, with all this happiness.
That's why I'm so motivated to try and change depressive thinking. I want to have an effect on a personal level, but also on a systemic level. I'm starting to understand some of the causes of depression. I believe with effort, they can be addressed. I will try. But I may never see the change. Someone will get there though.
I honestly don't know a whole lot about Jesus, but I know they love you with all their heart, warts and all. You seem like a pretty good Christian to me. Isn't the prerequisite for a good Christian just having faith? You definitely have that.
My people are most certainly here! Really, they are anyone who is struggling. They are also those that are doing fine. I've fallen in love with people as a whole. They're truly amazing.
I'm glad you're sticking around. I'm sorry I write so much. Like I said, it's almost a bad habit at this point. Might be better to reply in a fresh comment so it doesn't start getting messy.
I would like to know more about you, but I'm not sure what to ask! Do you have any pets? I imagine you'd be a good provider. I love animals, but especially cats.
Remind me to respond to this later :)
@jesusredeemedme2425
Remind you later to respond, or remind you now to respond later? I think I'll do both just to be safe.
Either XD I’ll just respond later when I have more time and/or bandwidth, lol
Sorry. App was glitching. Lol
Remind me to respond later lol
@jesusredeemedme2425
A gentle reminder to respond in your own time. I don't know if this is how I'm meant to remind you, I think it gives you a notification that you can let sit until you're ready?
That’s exactly how it works :) As long as I don’t touch the notification, it stays there until I respond <3 Thank you!
Btw, if I don’t respond within about 5 days, send me a reminder? The notification may have disappeared, which means I forgot to respond. Thanks <3
***TW***
I always ruminate and introspect too… It’s just who I am.
You’re not annoying at all <3
Philosophy course?
I’m really bad at spreading myself thin… I pour from an empty cup all the time.
You’ve been doing a great job at being active and encouraging people <3 You’re changing lives even if you don’t notice :)
I really hope my encouragement posts will save lives. I know some people might be THAT depressed, so I hope that it encourages them to stick around another day, yk? I’ve been there. Ik how it feels…
Autism and emotions don’t always go well together lol. We sometimes tend to not know how to express emotions at all, or at least correctly.
What are breaks? Lol
I really want people to feel loved and know they matter… That’s really important to me. I’ve always felt both invisible and like peoples’ punching bag, so I NEVER want anyone to feel that way.
You don’t always have to relate to NR posts. I often boost without being able to put any good feedback in them, but I ALWAYS let them know they’re loved <3
Do you have arcades in your area? We do, but they’ve been slowly dying out for years. Probably because home consoles are a thing now…
I really liked Donkey Kong 64, Diddy Kong Racing, Croc, Crash Bandicoot, Mario Kart, etc :)
What’s the Adult Acute Unit? I’ve never heard of that.
Depression has stolen many years of my life too…
Change depressive thinking? Wym?
You have a good point. Believing in, and receiving, Jesus, is the only prerequisite to salvation. My works are nothing. <3
You seem to really love people <3
You fit in very well here :)
I totally don’t mind you writing a lot! I love deep convos :)
If I remember, I’ll post this in a fresh comment :)
I don’t have pets, but I’ve had a lot of exotic ones over the years, including snakes, a rat, an iguana, etc. I wanted a bearded dragon and chameleon but never had one lol
What movies and books do you like? :)
@jesusredeemedme2425
Introspection is powerful, but you must be aware of loops. It can be used to process trauma, but also to re-live it. It's kind of like AI: if you don't think critically and honestly, you will fall into traps. You are highly reflective and honest so I trust your ruminations are fruitful, if a little painful at times.
Not annoying hey? Is that a challenge? ^_^
I want to do a general philosophy course, one that encourages me to think for myself. I like learning about other's ideas but I believe the point of philosophy is to develop your own ideas, reflect those back, learn from that... it's kind of a loop. Like infinity. Just endless learning.
It's curious how you can pour from an empty cup. It seems there is always light in you, like even in emptiness there is more to be found. Maybe that is the strength that God gives you.
It's no effort to post here, connect. It only fills me up. That's why I fear being annoying... I have to restrict myself from posting too much so others can shine. If I can make a difference in just one life, my purpose will have been fulfilled. But I want to reach as many as I can!
I know what it's like to lose hope. I gave up entirely. I'm only here because a friend stopped me.
The spectrum is an oddity. It's like I need to know exactly how I'm feeling or I shut down or act out. I'm improving though!
I'm similar in that I've felt invisible and misunderstood and want no-one to feel such a way. So I give people time and see things from their perspective. Again, not much of an effort... just my default mode. Seems to be yours too. It can still wear on you, but ultimately I gain from helping others.
I think there's an arcade in the mall! Haven't been there though. I don't want to go alone. They are dying out, makes me a little sad.
Those are great games :) I especially like multiplayer games like Mario Kart, although my preference is co-op. I like teaming up to fight a great evil. Gauntlet Legends was a lot of fun, although a bit repetitive.
The Adult Acute Unit is a place for those in mental health crisis. I was so lost I couldn't speak for a while. And when I did I did not make sense. They helped in a way, but it landed me on a medication that wrecked 10 years of my life. I believe I'm misdiagnosed.
I'm sorry you experienced depression at all. You don't deserve that. Does it still affect you?
I believe with gentle guidance, honesty and love, one may be able to get the depressed mind to engage in healthy reflection. It may not immediately lead to a turn-around, but I'm just thinking of planting seeds that promote thought. It was reflection that cured my depression. It's how we make sense of things, and with certainty comes peace. It's an epic goal though, very risky. If you push too hard people will just fall further into darkness and resentment.
Jesus really is an inspiration. I want to learn from his teachings even if I'm agnostic. He seems to be pure love, which isn't intensity. It's kindness, honesty, understanding, empathy, patience. These are values I hold dear and believe to be what will save the world in the end.
Life is such a rare and beautiful alignment of circumstances. I think we forget that life is truly special, and should be loved with all your heart.
This place feels like home. I wrote a love letter to this place lol.
I'm glad you're enjoying our talks. These messages are often the brightest part of my day. Just if it ever starts getting too much to manage, let's not push it yeah? I don't want it to become needless effort. Don't feel obliged to respond to literally everything. If it sparks a feeling, just focus on that, don't force yourself to say things.
Those are cool pets to have! My friend and I had a lizard (he still has it, I moved out). They're pretty chill, very free beings.
I really liked Inception. I want to watch Everything, Everywhere, All At Once. That's exactly my kind of movie. I do struggle with books, but I really enjoyed The Alchemist. What about you?
What's a song that captures your spirit? I love Saturn by Sleeping At Last.
Alright, I'll leave it there. Otherwise I'll go on forever!
Thanks Kiara. You're helping me in my continued recovery.
Remind me to respond to this tomorrow :) Night! <3
It’s been a really traumatizing day… :’(
@jesusredeemedme2425
I'm so sorry to hear that. Life seems to be throwing a lot your way. Really lean on that faith of yours for strength, but don't forget people. I would love to talk to you about specifics but probably not appropriate to do here. You could be vague though, just general feelings. I'm here if you need to talk.
Did you see my other post? Lots of details there.
Did you see my other post? Lots of details there.
Please post again, I accidentally opened this before I could respond lol
I’m really struggling rn
@jesusredeemedme2425
Where is this post of yours? I was there for a second, not sure what happened. I'll see if I can find it on my own but I may need guidance.
Look under general support, then sort by recent.
I think of you as Cy… Can I call you that?
@jesusredeemedme2425
Sure! Can I call you Ki? You seem to be a vital life source, an endless source of positive energy. It is evident in your pouring from an empty cup.
Sure :)
I don’t believe in chi or however you spell it tho hehe
Idk how I keep pouring from an empty cup… Because I just keep getting emptier. Is that even possible?
@jesusredeemedme2425
Hey, I don't fully believe it either. It just has a certain poetic quality to it that I like. Reminds me of you.
You really are amazing. I know what I'm like when my cup is empty... just complete collapse. I seem to have found boundless energy now, wish I could pass some of that onto you. Maybe if I send vibes?
We're talking across threads now. It's like what my mind is like, conversations all over the place. It's kind of... comforting!
Heh. I’m poetic? I feel like a screechy violin atm.
I usually have boundless energy, even when depressed. At least at work. Right now I feel like I just crashed into a wall.
Lol, I love having convos everywhere too. I need the constant conversation… It keeps me sane.
@jesusredeemedme2425
You are poetic in that you are surrounded by shadow and yet live in defiance of it.
I can relate to that feeling of a discordant violin. Just trying to be but out of sync, out of tune.
I hope we can keep track of this! It started off on a straight path then went all wibbly wobbly.
@jesusredeemedme2425
Hey... check out Slow It Down by Benson Boone please. It's a good song, and I feel your mind might need to slow down. Mindfully listening to something new might just be a dose of calm right now.
Remind me tomorrow to listen to it, it’s late here and I have roommates lol
Listen to “I Miss Me More”. Kelsea Ballerini. A lifetime of abuse led to this song being a kind of anthem for me…
@jesusredeemedme2425
Listening now. Added it to my play list for mental health, as I relate to the feeling of missing one self. It's also musically quite nice. I like finding new music!
All of this on top of a man physically abusing me two years ago (I’m terrified of men now), and DV pretty much my whole life…
I’m destroyed on the inside and no one sees it.
@jesusredeemedme2425
Men scare me too (everyone does, but men particularly). There's not a lot of good role models, hence why I look to Jesus for inspiration. Keanu Reeves is cool. Men seem to have more trouble processing their feelings and so it erupts in chaos.
How you are so nice in the face of all this baffles me.
