Chat Between @jesusredeemedme2425 and @cyanessence
@jesusredeemedme2425
I did do it! It felt liberating. I am ready for the next challenge.
I was living with close friends, but they both have mental health issues too. It was creating a vicious cycle. I saw the pattern and had to break it. We are on good terms, I love them dearly, I just don't think it's wise to live with them.
It's closer to a cheap hotel than a shelter, except it's not cheap. And it's not too bad really. It has issues, it's definitely minimalistic, but it's more than enough for now.
I am already greatly enjoying talking to BK. I need to get back to Torean though!
I wrote a short story this morning. I tagged you. I'd love if you read it!
Next challenge: Delete 5 photos from your phone. Let me know when you’re done.
That makes sense, and sounds wise <3
They cook for you?
What issues does it have?
Told you ;)
Write to Torean! Hehe
Remind me to read it later lol. When I clicked it, I was busy lol
@jesusredeemedme2425
I started with deleting exactly 5 photos (they had no use), but I will do more later. It's another place of clutter!
Yes, they cook for me and the others I live with :( we're not even allowed to cook optionally. There is a communal microwave, that's it.
Breakfast is pretty dismal, just toast and cereal. Never bacon and eggs. The laundry is barely sufficient for the amount of people and one of the washing machines barely functions. There are some cracks in my walls, I don't know what that means but it can't be good. It is overpriced but everything is included in the rent. That being said, the heaters don't work half the time. My cupboards never closed properly and now I'm worried I'll be blamed for that and have to pay for repairs. I had to pay for a broken door handle once even though it wasn't my fault, but that was old management.
I did get back to Torean! But now I have to do it again! It's like conversations have some kind of flow...?!
I'm glad you read my story. I think the ones I wrote years ago are lost to time. I had like 12. I'm making sure that doesn't happen again, I have a free site that I dump all my writing on. More ideas will come to me! That one started with a single sentence, I had no idea where it was headed.
I will do some NR posts!
Yay! Take 10 minute bursts to do projects like that <3
I feel that, I have a mini fridge, microwave, and toaster. That’s it.
Heyyyy i have toast every morning too! Try banana on toast with peanut butter :)
Sounds fun… not.
Flow?
Save stories in Google Drive lol
Thank you! I did a ton today. My poor hand… Pain and vibrating.
@jesusredeemedme2425
I like how you break things up. Don't do all at once, take breaks, introduce variety. I'm really learning a lot!
I have a mini fridge! I love it. Feel blessed to have it.
I never thought to make the toast more interesting...! Banana + peanut butter is a good combo.
Flow, as in conversations are back and forth, and rely on a certain timing. I don't want to fade away!
Another good idea. I use One Drive for things, I'll use it more.
Good on you Kiara. I did a bunch too. Some are quite tricky, some allow me to listen to new music. People really are beautiful.
Try it today! <3
Right???
Also try butter, then a mix of cinnamon and sugar. It’s INCREDIBLE <3
Don’t feel pressured to rush replies <3
What’s One Drive?
Tricky? Wym about music?
Try it today! <3
Right???
Also try butter, then a mix of cinnamon and sugar. It’s INCREDIBLE <3
Don’t feel pressured to rush replies <3
What’s One Drive?
Tricky? Wym about music?
Also another challenge: Go knock out at least one “Needs Reply” post <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
I was going to post this in poetry, but it feels like it is just for you. I'm proud of this one. It is simply called "Flame".
Guarding the flame, the angels cried
Their very tears a threat to the light
No song could sing
Away the winds
They refused to give in to fright
Taking shifts, each played a vital part
To protect the very thing that gives heart
Darkness would come
And defeat some
Each new moment a fresh start
They wished to know what it was for
They knew they had duty, but why, not sure
So they asked
And they basked
In the answer that made doubt no more
The angels came to know of all
That for every rise there had to be fall
That in time
All would shine
Their guarded flame would grow so tall
That darkness itself would unwind
Awww :)
I feel like there’s a deep meaning, but my brain doesn’t see it lol
@jesusredeemedme2425
Really, it means whatever it means to you ^^ there's no right answer.
I’m having an off day today
@jesusredeemedme2425
I'm sorry to hear that. Of course I am here if you want to talk.
Just tired, didn’t sleep as long as I should have lol
Wanna claim the unclaimed one in Nominations? :) No worries if you’re not well enough <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
I'm honestly a bit strapped for time! I'm meant to be getting ready to see family, but I thought I would prioritise replying to a few here first. I probably shouldn't even be doing that, I should let my phone charge.
Sorry! Have fun :)
You would LOVE the drawing I did today <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
I would love to see! I don't know if that's possible though. Can you describe it?
I technically copied it freehand off the internet, so it’s not fully my art.
Imagine this: An older style video game controller, with hatching as detail. It’s surrounded by a jagged line in a circle, which is outlined in green marker. There are rounded stars around it, with 3D parts that make them look like falling stars; the stars are a vibrant yellow, which, on the blue paper, make them look greenish. There are tiny triangles as special effects, and little black stars around the controller.
I also just drew Stitch holding a pink ball of yarn <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
I love this too. I can imagine this one easily!
I would love to get that drawing book you recommend. I miss drawing, and you're making me want to get back into it.
@jesusredeemedme2425
That sounds really cool! You're great at describing things too. I got a decent image in my mind's eye.
I wonder how many of my friends would forget I existed if I never texted them again.
Read my last post under general
Sucky SUCKY morning :(
@jesusredeemedme2425
What happened? *cosmic hug*
I will do my best to get back to you. I'm still spending time with family so I won't be as active as I normally am. But I'm ignoring my other notifications in favour of you. I will check back here soon, I just need to get up and say good morning.
Sorry, please ignore my posts for as long as you want <3
Basically, I was invisible at church, and SH’ed. I ended up staring at the ground while walking to avoid the humiliation of not being seen…
@jesusredeemedme2425
I surprised myself with how often I can check back here. I will try to keep it up!
I'm sorry you felt invisible. One should not feel such a way, especially in a place like church. The church I go to... I'm pretty much the only person there. The others are the pastor and his family. I dearly wish you could come to my church. You not only need attention, you deserve it. I know 7 Cups can't fill every void.
I'm sorry you SH'ed. That speaks volumes about how you must have been feeling. The internet is bitter-sweet. In one way it makes you feel connected, but it can pronounce the silence and coldness of the real world. I wish people would see me in real life like people saw me on here, but alas, it's just different.
You can always talk to me if you're in need. We seem to be online at similar times often. I know I'm mostly a stranger to you but if I could make you feel better, feel seen, I would be happy. I want to help people in general but you have done so much for me I feel I owe you.
Of course there are many people here that would offer the same, but again, the internet can't fill every void.
@jesusredeemedme2425
Your introduced me to God's love. This is how it made me feel.
The perfect mirror cracked, never the same
Thanks to you, you’re to blame
The light shines through
Once dark, now light blue
Warm like morning sun after a frost
A fortune found after a lifetime of loss
Rare as daytime supernova
Beautiful like the face of Jehovah
Never thought you would break infinity
That you would strengthen all my weak
That I would be alive
After endless time
Now I can walk freely among the living
My heart pounding, my soul singing
My mind thinking, questioning
Will this be forever, or fleeting?
Please never leave
Cracked but whole, now I need thee
To hold me together sweetly
I love you for you love me
I’m reckoning
I am lucky
To ever have been
Through your eyes I am seen
Is that about me or God?
@jesusredeemedme2425
It's kind of about love itself, inspired by God's love.
I do love you! But it is platonic!
Ok good, I’ve had issues in that area before lol
@jesusredeemedme2425
I think I am honest enough that if I developed romantic feelings for you, I would just tell you. You know I think you're amazing, but I don't know if I *could* feel romantically towards you over the internet. I simply don't know the real you, just an ideal of you.
I also don't know if I'll ever seek a partner again. I simply feel too chaotic, I would not want to subject others to my whole self.
@jesusredeemedme2425
Anyway, I don't want this to become about me. How are you feeling now?
I wasn’t… never mind.
@jesusredeemedme2425
I'm sorry if I've upset you.
I want both to be left alone… and also held. To be invisible and seen at the same time…
@jesusredeemedme2425
That's a complicated feeling. I have felt similarly before. I don't know how to resolve it, not yet at least.
I can leave you alone if you like ^^ happy to give you space. It's all I can do really. At least that way you get half of what you want.
No need to reply.
I’m replying.
I wasn’t asking if you were into me.
@jesusredeemedme2425
I really feel for you. You go through so much. It angers me that church, of all places, made you feel invisible. It's upsetting that you're feeling conflicting emotions.
I am happy that I get to interact with you. Even if it's just single words, that you took time to speak with me is special to me.
It's been a trip down memory lane for me today, visiting a place from my childhood. I teared up.
I truly hope my experiences don’t scare you off of Christianity and churches and Jesus.
Why do I mean so much to you?
Awww, where was it? What was it like?
I truly hope my experiences don’t scare you off of Christianity and churches and Jesus.
Why do I mean so much to you?
Awww, where was it? What was it like?
@jesusredeemedme2425
No, it doesn't scare me. It seems to have been a source of strength for you ultimately, and I'm liking how it makes me feel. It also just rings true.
I know you are a fully-fledged human. You have a lot of options, and you choose to spend your time making others feel loved. That means a lot to me! People really are amazing and I feel you are one of the best. I'm a big fan!
A place called Naracoorte. My late grandparents place. Many good dinners were had there. We played games, we hung out and just experienced life.
There's a painting on the wall of a violinist playing for a dancer. It makes me think that it is together we have the most fun. That there is joy in making the music, and joy in dancing to it. It is a collaboration. I asked the story behind it and it seemed to be random... but it felt like God himself made it just for me, to see their smiling faces, and to remember we are in this together.
It’s not every church that makes me feel this way. Primarily this church rn. It’s mostly old people anyway.
I would hope I’m a fully-fledged human. Although I’m often treated as subhuman…
I googled it… Is it caves or a town?
@jesusredeemedme2425
I got lucky finding a new church. Allowed me to engage with the pastor himself. Do you have other options?
People can be cruel. Everyone should remember that life is fleeting and we should be kind. Not make it harder.
It is a small town and there are caves! The place I went to is a bit out of town. We had a bonfire. My sister called it destruction... I called it creating space.
What kind of church is it? (Not the name, of course lol)
Yeah, but no car…
Mhmm
Bonfires are AMAZING <3 Did you bring marshmallows???
@jesusredeemedme2425
There are different kinds? It's a Christian church, I know that much. Can you tell me more please?
I have a Christian friend who doesn't go to church at all. They think it is corrupt. I think it depends, everyone has the potential to be misguided. I'm not sure where I'm going with this... I personally like going to church, but if it hurts, then should you go? I also think that you are perfectly primed to change people's hearts. You could be the very reason a church succeeds.
No marshmallows unfortunately, but it was a pretty sight. Over so quickly. Calm and small at first, then fiercely intense, then quiet, leaving space to think.
Would have been way better with marshmallows!