Chat Between @jesusredeemedme2425 and @unassumingEyes
I thought that I would make us a penpal chat, because I love talking to you and I’d love to get to know you more! Please feel free to ignore if you don’t want to, or if you don’t feel comfy. No pressure! <3
I just had a breakdown… Sobbing. I’m a mess :’(
@jesusredeemedme2425
Hi darling 🤍 sorry i wasnt there, timezones are working against me. Howre you now?
All good, no worries <3
Better… I cried, catnapped, drew, read, and just generally didn’t do a lot today, which helped <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Thats great, good job 🤍 im here if you wanna talk about what caused it
Can’t share details, just… too much, all at once.
@jesusredeemedme2425
Is there any one thing for you to focus on? Can be anything. Sorting out your closet, going through emails, trying to do art, finding junk paper and tearing it up, washing the dishes. Something to focus on the look and feel and movement of? That's how I drown it all out, that or reading.
Or we could talk about stuff, my stuff or your stuff or neither of ours stuff.
Or play a game, or take turns screaming stuff at each other, stuff that matters and stuff that doesnt, like "Im tired of everything" or "the lights keep flickering" till we feel better.
And if that feels like too many options to choose from, we can do all or none. Everything goes
Been doing art. Need new ideas tho please <3
Hard to focus on reading lately. I want to, tho.
Tell me stuff :)
Games and screaming?? I’m down XD
hugs You’re such a good friend <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Takes one to know one :D
Art....hmmm....do you do plants? I'm a fan of willow trees....or if you do like animals etc then I'd say a phoenix
I used to like get tired of reading until I realized how limited I felt by my family's choice of books. Started finding ebooks of stuff I'm actually interested in and exploring genres, it did wonders. So I'd advise reading a new genre. I also read fanfics and stuff but you can stumble across triggering stuff there so i get it if its not your cup of tea
Tell you stuff? Hmm...i dont know. Mostly ive got school stuff on my brain rn, got exams till mid June 🫡🫠 sometimes i think about other things...like potential ways to improve youth homes or how everything is poetry to me. Ive got a weird brain lol
Lmk whenever u wanna do the screaming thing. Maybe we shld do code words xD like "poppy" for when we wanna vent/scream, and then the other one just starts. Do i sound crazy? xD
Hru feeling rn?
@unassumingEyes also *hugs* forgot that part xD 🫂🫂🤍
Hehe thank you <3
I do plants <3
I meant like, new kinds of art. New media. Even crazy ideas! I wanna try miniatures at some point but idk how lol. Also wool felting and maybe collages and calligraphy and junk journaling. <3
What did they like reading? What do you like reading now?
I’m finding that a LOT of my books tend to be dark and depressing. I like dystopias and historical fiction, both of which tend to have dark themes. Which isn’t good for my mental health. But it’s what I like. I’m confused lol
You’re in HS, right? My brain thinks of you as an adult sometimes, I think. <3
Ooh tell me about the youth homes! <3 And the poetry! <3
Your brain isn’t weird, it’s beautiful and creative and compassionate <3
POPPPPPPPPYYYYYYY!!!!!!
Not at all! Lol. I like this idea <3
Tired. Showers wear me out. Lol. Also still in the midst of that breakdown… sigh.
How are you feeling rn?
hugs
@jesusredeemedme2425 hugs <3
New media...hmmm. i'm meaning to try out wood carving art? You cld look into that? I hv exams rn but i got the tools for later
They like detective novels mostly or else science fiction like Jules Verne kinda stuff. And dont get me wrong, Jules Verne is amazing, and stuff like Sherlock Holmes and Agatha Christie is fun to read too. But not all the time, yk? But whenever I suggest a different genre I get glared at lol
I've been going crazy w genres since allowing myself to branch out. Basically im in my exploring stage. I just finished the harry potter series which is the first in the fantasy genre i tried out
No, i get that, i tend to read stuff thats probably darker than is normal for my age lol. It gets you feeling kinda down but also its like....youre too curious for ur own good yk? You need to know. Thats how it is with me. I read a fic online once, 92 chapters. Each more dark than the last. Nearly the end i literally hated that fic but I needed to know what happened at the end xD it was a happy-ish ending atleast. Remarkable writing...thats why i loathed it
Yeah, im in my last year of HS. Uni admissions soon which is terrifying xD
Are you sure you want me to yap lol. Ill tryr to make it small but in the next post cuz otherwise this one will be huge
The screaming part of my brain has been summoned and shall provide, prepare for caps:
I AM SICK OF HAVING TO ACCOUNT FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S OPINIONS IN HOW I LIVE MY LIFE
Your turn 😁
My brain may be all that but it is also weird
I relate i hate showers lol. Trying to make it nicer for me by using stuff (shampoos, conditioners etc) that look and smell pretty. Anything you can do to make showers easier? Ive always wanted to get a stool to sit on...call me lazy but i think it wld be nice sometimes xD
Im not feeling much of anything other than busy right now. Exams. All this bio driving me crazy but its alr cuz the exams after bio are relatively easy this week
Remind me to respond to this tomorrow! I’m so excited to respond to this one!!!
….But it’s late.
And sleep is a thing XD
Just respond to this so it sends me the notification again? <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
*reminder*
hope you slept well 🤍
Carpal tunnel. But I’ve wanted to! Hehe
Those are… old. Lol! I don’t blame you lol
Do you like dystopias?
Yesssss, like… history is dark, but we all need to know it. And books about racism and slavery and the Holocaust. People need to know this stuff, y’all.
You loathed it because it was good?
Yayyyyy. Are you doing community college or whatever the bigger ones are called? (I obviously didn’t go to one of those lol)
YAP AWAY PLEASE, I love talking to you! <3
WHY ARE YOU ACCOUNTING FOR OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINIONS????
My turn? Ok, here goes…
*******
WHY ARE PEOPLE SO ANNOYING, AND WHY CANT I FIGURE OUT MY LOVE LIFE, AND WHY DO I FEEL OUT OF CONTROL OVER MY LIFE??? WHO AM I!??? DOES ANYONE HEAR OR CARE??? AM I INVISIBLE??????
*******
Ok I’m done now. Hehe
Weird is good. I like weird. <3
Showers are hard because they take away from my scrolling time XD
Shower chairs exist. Get one! No one says you can’t. <3
Is bio hard??
@jesusredeemedme2425
Okay first off apologies for the always late responses its these exams xD
Secondly i usually feel guilty for yapping too much but you asked and i offered so i'll deliver w a lil bit about youth homes
Basically my main goal in life is to help people, especially teens bcz i guess i cld hv used such help. Because of stuff at home that i wont get in to, theres a possibility of me being kicked out. Dont worry! It is v much worst case, mild possibility. But bcz im paranoid, I prepared for it in more ways than one
And one way was research. Studying a map of my city, places where i cld get a job, cheap hotels and flats to stay at, youth homes.
Now the actual part, the rest was just background xD i learnt things about youth homes i didnt know, stuff like how you cant stay for very long to make space for new teens who need the place, how packed they get in rainstorms etc, how the electricity shortages in my country affect them, how low security for teens residing there is, how under funded they are overall.
And obviously, i went "i cant let that go on"
So its what ive been brainstorming on. Stuff like how they shld be segregated, male and females to provide more comfort and security especially for victims of abuse. Or exchanging services for more permanent rooming, like the teen helps out with age appropriate stuff like food distribution in return for staying longer than they wld otherwise be allowed to. And investing in solar panels to counter the electricity issue. That kinda stuff. Stuff thats important but so many people just...dont think about 🤷♀️
You took like zero time to respond, dude. Lol!
I hope you never get kicked out <3
I never thought about that stuff.
I wish more kids would get adopted…
@jesusredeemedme2425
Thanks 🤍
I know right? I feel like adoption should be encouraged over having your own kids. I dont see why it makes a lot of difference.
But acc youth homes wld still be necessary eitherway because there are teens who are legally adults but unsupported. Or just teens who know the foster system is a mess and evade it entirely. So they need these places until they can find some means of supporting themselves
It’s like, these kids need help, so why not help them? AND have kids of your own if you want? <3
Wait, so what exactly are youth homes? Like group homes?
@jesusredeemedme2425
exactly!!
i think it acc varies but generally its like a shelter where homeless youth can stay for a while or get resources. Kind of like a group home but it tends to get over crowded so they ask teens to leave so that they can help other teens in need etc. Thats how it is in my country
@jesusredeemedme2425 hello i just woke up for my exam and i was thinking about art mediums and remembered ✨️wood burning✨️ which is very pretty and shld be fun so im putting that out there xD
There is no possibility of doing that atm, but I want to at some point! <3 It’s GORGEOUS <3
@jesusredeemedme2425 right?? XD
@jesusredeemedme2425
Okay replying here now
I didnt know you have carpal tunnel! My apologies. How do you art despite it?
I havent read dystopia. Or...does war of the worlds count? But i didnt finish that book, didnt like it.
I love learning history but hate the way history books are written. Too much information in one paragraph! I cant focus xD prefer videos.
I loathed it bcz the author's intention was to make us loathe it and they succeeded 100%
I have no idea what community college is xD
Aww i love talking to u too 🤍
BECAUSE IF I DONT THEY TRY TO MAKE ME MISERABLE
–
PEOPLE ARE WEIRDOS!! FINDING LOVE IS LIKE FINDING POKEMONS!! THERE ARE MANY TYPES AND YOU JUST GOTTA BE PATIENT BUT IT TAKES RLLY LONG AND THAT SUCKS
and also we careee and your mom does and anyone with eyes does bcz you are AMAZING AND NOT INVISIBLE YOU LITERALLY RADIATE GOOD VIBES
–
Good job ✨️
Weird is weird theres no other way to describe it
Okay valid
I will someday hopefully
Bio is....like mixed? Varies from person to person, i guess. For me i find things things like classification easy but systems like digestive system hard
All good! It’s not bad like it used to be. The occasional spasms and tenseness and tightness and twisting are annoying tho. I Can still draw, just like, weird and modified and less complicated materials and techniques (chiaroscuro would kill me lol).
Idk, never read it lol! Have you heard of Uglies?? Or The Giver?
Do you read historical fiction? Have you tried Horrible History????
Why?
You don’t have community college there?
Me more!!! Hehe
WHY????
If only what I were feeling was more about my love life. That’s secondary and lesser. Like WAYYYYY lower on my priority list…
Awwwwwww I need more cheerleading like that <3 Thank you! <3
I am WEIRDDDDDDD
Buy one TODAY!
Doctoring classes would make me lose my mind lol
@jesusredeemedme2425
Ahh i see. I hv no idea what chiaroscuro is lol
I have heard of the books but not read em yet. Theoretically i wld like historical fiction but never actually tried it
I dont know people are weird xD
Yeah no thats also valid. Yknow, i feel so weird, as a teen, thinking about love lifes xD no dating culture here so its not really talked about. It sounds cute but also like if someone were to be that sappy with me i'd probably run in the other direction, not bcuz i dislike it just bcz it...doesnt feel normal xD
I can do cheer leading xD K-I-A-R-A, Who is gonna rock her day? KIARA! 🎊🎉✨️💅
Im a teen i cnt go around buying stuff 😭
Right? Med school is crazy difficult
Poppy :’(
@jesusredeemedme2425 I'll start
I AM SO TIRED RN AND I HAVE AN EXAM IN 3 HRS AND I COULD PROBABLY PASS IT EVEN IF I RELAX RN BUT MY BRAIN IS MAKING ME ANXIOUS SO NOW IM TRYNNA STUDY
your turn!
@unassumingEyes also my net sucks rn so slow responses 🫠
Is that code for “go away and leave me alone”?
@jesusredeemedme2425
Do i look like somebody who codes things? Thats code for the school system sucks and my anxiety sucks worse. You do not suck and talking to you is worth it because you are amazing
So, your turn?
I’m REALLY struggling rn.
Idk. I just… I have NOTHING inside me.
@jesusredeemedme2425
Did something cause that?
I’m safe, btw.
Just… too much. Not enough rest. If I could share details, you’d definitely understand. And most of it is not by choice, out of my control.
@jesusredeemedme2425
Im glad ur safe atleast 🤍
So, what do you need? Body first. Have you eaten? Hydrated? Got any restful sleep?
And then, what do you need? If you feel adrift, we can do grounding exercises. If you feel too here, we go for distractions. If its neither or both we navigate the mess youre going through
Idk. I’m just drawing rn. Listening to restful Christian music.
Eaten. Hydrated. Need to pee lol! Will sleep in awhile, but not yet.
@jesusredeemedme2425
Drawing is good. Music is also good. Is it helping any?
I hope you hv sweet dreams when you sleep and wake up feeling remarkably better 🤍
Not a ton. I just feel so weak…
@jesusredeemedme2425
weak in what sense?
ive gotta go now :/ i wont be back till after the exam...i hope youre feeling better by then 🤍
Physically. Emotionally.
Sorry for distracting you! You’ll do AMAZING! <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Sleep shld help w physically. Hopefully even otherwise. Do you like lemonade? It helps me when i feel exhausted
Thats okay some things are more important than studies 🤍 im sorry you felt like I didnt want to be talking to you
thanks 🤍
Not really, it makes me thirsty lol
You didn’t <3
How did it go??? <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Whaaat it does the opposite for me
Good
It was okay i got more anxious over there for some reason but the exam itself was fine
Lucky lol
Yay! Did you pass???
@jesusredeemedme2425 wont find out yet! Two more exams and then results....and then more exams lol
Fun. Lol
@jesusredeemedme2425
helloo 🤍 howre you doing now? any better?
my exams are done– for now. Next up are finals in like 2 weeks, wish me luck xD
Still recovering… mental issues suck. No motivation to do much of anything besides survive. Why also being insanely productive???? Is that even a thing lol
Yay!!!!
Do you graduate after that??
@jesusredeemedme2425
Ah. I hope you feel better soon 🤍 mental health issues DO suck, 100% no doubt about it. I'm here if you need anything
Yes, technically. Its going to be university next, which is a weird thing to think so i wont think it 😶🌫️
Thank you! You being here is the BEST <3
Why is it weird? College is AWESOME <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Anything for my amazing frnd 👐👐
but i was twelve years old like, yesterday! What am i gonna do in college besides bumble around? 😶🌫️
Howre you now? I was gonna drop you a msg here today but you beat me to it
No you weren’t XD
Dude. College ROCKS! Join allllll the clubs and meet tons of people <3
Hehe I win!!!!!
I’m tired. Eating better today <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Proud of you!!! didya get any rest?
*ahem* have you heard of social anxiety? I went to give an exam yesterday and freaked out pretty bad. Fyi, written exam. I didnt even have to speak to anybody?? Just felt like everyone was judging me 😃
yesss i was and 3 days ago i was 9 and moving schools what is happening?? xD
What is rest????
It gets easier. I promise. <3 I have social anxiety. Did worse many years ago. Then college happened. Met people. Did things. Scared me! Lol. But it was soooooo good <3
And the day before that you were barely even born right????? ;)
@jesusredeemedme2425
Kiaraaaa you need to rest 😔
I hope so. Its very hard but I want to learn how to do better. Its weird cuz i literally crave companionship but when i get it i freeze 😬
I aged up on cups. Im now on oldie side with you lot. Any tips for being an adult on cups? xD this is new territory.
Yess now you get it xD
Two weeks, Kiara? Really???? XD
Right??? I’m so awful at making conversation XD
Honestly, idk, because I’ve never been on the teen side hehe. Idk what the difference is! But just ignore and report obnoxious and rude people lol
Have you been born yet??? Hehe
@jesusredeemedme2425
lol i was wondering if maybe you replied and i didnt see it xD
Yknow thats fair, i never thought of that. Teen side is like– instead of mcr we had tcr (teen community room). There were only two 24/7 rooms (tcr and sr) and the LGBTQ room used to be 24/7 but they closed it. Then they made a new room called Ppayground 24/7 but they turned it into a pop-up room too.
Those are the site changes in tcr. And we have a forum place all for ourselves muahaha. Actually I dont hv access to that anymore as an oldie which is a bummer
Uhhh...beyond that we were just teens lol. Adults use so many full stops? I only one teen who ended everything in fullstops and after some people got a little uncomfortable w it (including I admit me) she started avoiding it too
Do adults not know something like "Ok." Sounds incredibly passive agressive? xD i hv to convince my brain that no all oldies arent mad at you and hiding it they just talk like that
Anywaysss hru doing howve you been?
Nope, I’m just lame XD
I’m being attacked by a mosquito tonight. HE JUST BIT ME AHHHHH IT ITCHES!!!!! I have like 2-4 welts so far. Can’t tell. Trying SO HARD to smack him, but dude’s a NINJA :( So miserable rn
I almost never use the chatrooms, so I’m not a lot of help there lol
Have you made penpal chats with your old friends??
YESSSSS periods and “ok” give me the ick too hehe. I may be older, but i totally feel what y’all feel, trust me hehe
Tired. Itchy. I’m ok. Trying to stay plateaued. My breakdown was no bueno.
You???